My child is doing my fucking head in (1 Viewer)

[egg_]

2 to 5 are the absolute best

We had a kind of golden age in our house between the time the younger was 2 and the older was around 10 (she's 16 now). I get emotional thinking about that too, because sometimes I get to thinking those might have been the best years of my life, and they're behind me

 

[jonah]

Baby has decided that she only wants to sleep in my arms at all times, otherwise she yells at me. I'm tired.

 

[pete]

Baby has decided that she only wants to sleep in my arms at all times, otherwise she yells at me. I'm tired.

Went through that with herself for about a year. Not fun.

 

[jonah]

Went through that with herself for about a year. Not fun.

Any tips or is it one of those ride it out they'll eventually grow out of it thing

 

[pete]

Any tips or is it one of those ride it out they'll eventually grow out of it thing

I don't like the term "controlled crying", but sleep training can work.

 

[JohnnyRaz]

Baby has decided that she only wants to sleep in my arms at all times, otherwise she yells at me. I'm tired.

Tough one Jonah - our little fella was like that. Sleep training did help a bit. But it can be a hard road

 

[Squiggle]

Any tips or is it one of those ride it out they'll eventually grow out of it thing

I say ride it out, it worked well here. Have you a sling/carrier/wrap? They're brilliant for that stage, baby snuggled close and feeling hugged and you've both arms free (which you will spend an insane proportion of the time still using to pat their back or hug them just because you want to) and you free to move around (mostly rocking side to side, again because you just feel like it).

 

[Cornu Ammonis]

Our first only slept when we carried her and cried if we put her down or even sat down holding her. It is tough and there’s not much you can do, sleep training might work but it didn’t for us. You can see about what your GP or public health nurse can recommend - if there’s access to a sleep consultant that might give you some more ideas.

 

[jonah]

Thanks guys <3 I'm still a bit reluctant to sleep train so am working on really gently making tiny changes, like putting her down asleep in her cosleeper and if/when she wakes picking her up and rocking to sleep again, and repeat. Spends most of the nap in my arms still this way but I feel like it's small progress. Nice to hear it's not just us and they eventually grow out of it even if you just do nothing

 

[jonah]

And yes baby slings are keeping me sane. She loves the ergobaby one now she's old enough to face outwards too as well as the wrap.

 

[GO]

My child is a total fucking legend no shit

 

[David Kronenbourg]

My child is a total fucking legend no shit

New thread so...

 

[Squiggle]

And yes baby slings are keeping me sane. She loves the ergobaby one now she's old enough to face outwards too as well as the wrap.

Ah that's great. I don't know how old your baby is but there is the fourth trimester -
The Fourth Trimester – AKA Why Your Newborn Baby is Only Happy in Your Arms and it is normal for babies (and children) to go through stages like this at intervals that gradually become more spaced out but still take you by surprise and knock you for six until you realise that it just means that your child is going through a developmental leap and needier as a result. If you look at other mammals it's just not normal for mammalian babies to be physically separate from their parents or other adults until they're running off by themselves... and the idea that babies sleep on their own in a different room is a very new, and "western" idea by human standards too. It's literally unnatural...

 

[Anthony]

It's hard but ride it out. When you're dealing with a stroppy 19 yr old you'll look back fondly at these days.
That said, every stage has its highs and lows.

 

[chris d]

We had 18 months of terrible sleep of different phases. Beginning with the needing to be held thing, or carried, or sat on the stairs. Which morphed into dropping soothers and screaming 10 times a night. Just helped them when they needed it. I did go completely grey during this period in fairness.

 

[chris d]

Potty training here last month meant sleep for T2 went to absolute shit since she was stressing so much.

My folks were down on Saturday and the girls had an absolutely poxy night's sleep. Found out the next day that they had eaten a full bag of giant buttons and a hole packet of cakes.

 

[ann post]

Potty training here last month meant sleep for T2 went to absolute shit since she was stressing so much.

My folks were down on Saturday and the girls had an absolutely poxy night's sleep. Found out the next day that they had eaten a full bag of giant buttons and a hole packet of cakes.

'they didn't get that from me'

The Cooking Thread

Oh yeah? Huh. Now I'm doubting my memory. I seem to remember like... snapping a piece of glass, and there'd be this edge, like the tail of an exponentially increasing plot say, and that edge would be really sharp and you'd put it into a clamp yoke, and use it to do your slices... Hm. I'm having...

thumped.com

 

[chris d]

Just helped them when they needed it.

Re-reading this and it sounds like a dick saying it was no bother. It was very difficult. We had no downtime for the majority of that. After they went "to bed" it was literally cleaning up the dishes, making tomorrows bottles, and going straight to bed. For ages.

TV and beer did start to creep back into my life around a year I would guess. I think i could find the exact date in this thread.

Basically what i mean is, good luck @jonah It's rough for a while.

 

[egg_]

@jonah

I have no advice, except for "hang in there". It gets easier eventually

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Most people resort to some kind of sleep training at some stage. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When our younger was 1 I took a week off work and did the night shift - picking her up and rocking her back to sleep whenever she woke instead of Mrs. egg_ putting her on the boob. Succeeded in moving her first wakeup from 2am to maybe 6-ish.

My brother's older child only graduated to sleeping through the night in her own bed when she was in third class. I'd say you'll manage a bit better than him. Good luck!

 

[jonah]

Ah that's great. I don't know how old your baby is but there is the fourth trimester -
The Fourth Trimester – AKA Why Your Newborn Baby is Only Happy in Your Arms and it is normal for babies (and children) to go through stages like this at intervals that gradually become more spaced out but still take you by surprise and knock you for six until you realise that it just means that your child is going through a developmental leap and needier as a result. If you look at other mammals it's just not normal for mammalian babies to be physically separate from their parents or other adults until they're running off by themselves... and the idea that babies sleep on their own in a different room is a very new, and "western" idea by human standards too. It's literally unnatural...

Thank you squiggle she's 4.5 months old so I know very much due for the sleep regression/fourth leap etc. The fourth trimester is definitely definitely real. I honestly love the attachment, and I'd hold her 24/7 if I was able, but I'm finding it affecting my mental health. What we've done this week is slowly transition from cradling to sleep for naps, to sleeping on the bed beside her but cuddled up and singing to sleep. Takes longer but it's a step. I know she'll get there when she's ready and every baby is different. I'd be happy with one nap a day out of my arms just so I could rest a bit, but equally I know in a few months I'll miss this so much