hermie
Well-Known Member
An old lady gave me an apple, orange and a banana for helping her in with her bins this morning.
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An old lady gave me an apple, orange and a banana for helping her in with her bins this morning.
No need for order when you've a yawning chasm like I do.In Which order did you shove them up your bum?
No need for order when you've a yawning chasm like I do.
Looking up how to get milk off a car seat?
Even the piles won't stay inYou’ve a bum hole like a fruit salad
In fairness, I know him and he’s sound really.I’d have great sleeps if my son didn’t get into the bed, headbutt, and gouge my eyes.
Today was going terribly. I woke up a half hour late for my shuttle bus to work (bougie mention no.1), thought fuck it sure, I'm late I might as well make breakfast. Whipped out my overnight oats, chopped up some mango, added my chia seeds (bougie mention no.2) and chomped on my first spoon, only to realise that I hadn't added chia seeds at all but coriander seeds (bougie mention no.3). Spat it out because clearly coriander is the devil.
I was just about to give up on the day, while looking in my empty wallet, wondering if I could afford a cab to minimize the damage of how late I was, when I pulled on a pair of shoes I hadn't worn in about 3 months and found 100 quid in the shoe.
So I got that cab (bougie mention no.4). I got that motherfucking cab.
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