Minor complaints thread (10 Viewers)

[7 - No tomorrow]

Je détèste l'anglais

 

[David Kronenbourg]

I’ll likely be eating on my own and my French is non existent. I feel like ordering in restaurants could be a humiliating experience!

 

[nooleen]

trente gauloises bleu s'il vous plais

 

[David Kronenbourg]

that's how to buy fags?

 

[hydromancer]

You find nice little bakery's over there called "boulangerie"

 

[David Kronenbourg]

You find nice little bakery's over there called "boulangerie"

is it next to the long stand?

 

[hydromancer]

is it next to the long stand?

Its just a general term for a bakery

To buy fags using my guide would be
bonjour monsieur/madame
do you have any fags/tobacco
merci bocu !

 

[David Kronenbourg]

Email from Papa Lomax (in all caps): “HAVE GOOD TRIP”

 

[Unicron]

Email from Papa Lomax (in all caps): “HAVE GOOD TRIP”

nice to see he's excited for you.

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

My Dad writes in a stream of consciousness, in text speak, with zero punctuation and often with no spaces
It's like the fucking DaVinci code sometimes

 

[David Kronenbourg]

nice to see he's excited for you.

I’m very excited. I’m hoping to annoy lots of Parisians by making them speak English.

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

You got a list of museums and that?

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

Oh, do they have a city bike scheme there?

 

[David Kronenbourg]

You got a list of museums and that?

Yeah the girl who's AirBNB I'm renting is leaving me a list of things to see and do and local food and drinks.

 

[Unicron]

My Dad writes in a stream of consciousness, in text speak, with zero punctuation and often with no spaces
It's like the fucking DaVinci code sometimes

My late aunt, I loved her dearly, almost a second mother to me, developed her own totally idiosyncratic text speak that no one could decipher.

She was also a terrible cheapskate. After she texted you'd almost always have to call her to find out what she wanted. Which I suspect may have been the point.

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

My Dad's is a marvel of economy. Like every keystroke is clearly a massive annoyance so he's constantly seeing how he can use less.
Or that's my takeaway anyway.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

My dad used to write all in caps. Business emails and everything. I had to tell him off for it.

 

[Cormcolash]

Here is my complete guide in French

good morning ~ bonjour
good evening ~ bonswa
thank you ~ merci bocu
thank you mister ~ merci bocu monsieur
thank you missus ~ merci bocu madame

extra bonus
good luck ~ bon chance
washing machine ~ machine laver automatique

excuse me sir ~ excusez-moi putin merde

 

[hydromancer]

This sounds familiar some how Urban Dictionary: putain
BBC NEWS | UK | Why do the French call the British 'the roast beefs'?

 

[Reets]

My dad's gone off traveling for the next few months, possible indefinitely.
The last time I heard from him was October 12th and he was in Thailand. I'm fairly sure he's ok though as my cousin said he saw him in Australia.
That's fine I'm glad he's having a nice time, the shit part is that now I'm the person in the family that has to do freakin everything; paperwork, sorting out hospital appointments, paying the bills on time... all from Tipperary.
Also my Mum's headstone is finally finished, only took 2 years.
It needs to be inscribed but I can't get through to my Dad, so I dont know what he wants. His exact words were "maybe something Egypt-ish! WTF??
The other's want something about her being like sunshine, or a maybe "Screw this, I'm going back to sleep" (I said that one as a joke, and it's kinda stuck).
It's probably going to be my dad's grave too, so I need something to say about both of them.

I got all panicked about death and ended up in a Solicitors yesterday getting a Will made, and now I can't find anything that I can wear in my coffin if I died soon. Everything looks too casual, or too clubby. I might actually have to go out and buy something, just incase.

I realise I sound nuts.