If Thumped were a cop show... (2 Viewers)

[classic seanc]

JANER-is a shoe shine man who knows the word on the street
Lefty Frizell- is an extravagent pimp
Sean C- is a cabaret artist with mafia links

Cabaret artist?!

Surely I can be a millionaire philanderer who's multitudinous business connections require me to appear in 20% to 30% of plotlines, including all the two part episodes.
Furthermore, my office in a skyscraper will allow for a least one scene where a criminal is clinging on for dear life.

Also, I'm good with swords and can fly a helicoptor, as well as having a host of other surprise skills, barbecue chef, farming machinery operator, and so on, as the show requires.

But in college, I was involved in a fatal car accident where I learned to cop on (season 4 filler episode)

 

[Lili Marlene]

One of my characters quirks is a passion for gardening that leads to a poorly planned spin off gardening programme.
The pilot episode is given a time-slot opposite the world cup final and further episodes are cancelled half-way through filming.

Needless to say it becomes a bit of a cult with a lengthy article on wikipedia all about it. A fan petition eventually leads to the unreleased episodes earning a full dvd release. I spend the rest of my screen career typecast as a gardening policeman and appearing as a talking head on Channel 4 nostalgia shows.

 

[jane]

Cabaret artist?!

Surely I can be a millionaire philanderer who's multitudinous business connections require me to appear in 20% to 30% of plotlines, including all the two part episodes.
Furthermore, my office in a skyscraper will allow for a least one scene where a criminal is clinging on for dear life.

Also, I'm good with swords and can fly a helicoptor, as well as having a host of other surprise skills, barbecue chef, farming machinery operator, and so on, as the show requires.

But in college, I was involved in a fatal car accident where I learned to cop on (season 4 filler episode)

But who will play your mistress, the corrupt councilwoman?

Any takers? You get to* have sex with seanc.

 

[ernesto]

But who will play your mistress, the corrupt councilwoman?

Any takers? You get to* have sex with seanc.

can it be me? no-one will ever expect the shouting stoner bum!!

 

[theweeyin]

But who will play your mistress, the corrupt councilwoman?

Any takers? You get to* have sex with seanc.

The Astrix implies some ambiguity to that statement...

 

[classic seanc]

can it be me? no-one will ever expect the shouting stoner bum!!

It's not supposed to be a crime, no need for the conspiratorial tone.


At any rate, you'll most likely end up being my half brother or something

 

[It Will Never Last]

I'm Det. Frank Drebin. Thank you.

 

[sweetoblivion]

hey! can I have a walk on part or pick the music or something?

 

[jane]

hey! can I have a walk on part or pick the music or something?

Do you not want a bigger role?

I think most of us had you in mind to play Hightower.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

It's not supposed to be a crime, no need for the conspiratorial tone.
At any rate, you'll most likely end up being my half brother or something

i'll call the police after catching the two of ye rutting in a public lavatory. this seemingly petit crime will later prove to be the key that unlocks mackles sex empire and allows the thumped police to bring it crashing down around his ears. of course there will be many episodes of mayhem along the way...

 

[Squiggle]

In the mean time, tipped off by Shaney, I will have captured the whole thing and sold my photos to the tabloids.

 

[therealjohnny]

But played by Dennis Franz?

I'm confused. Please get johnnystress, our police sketch artist, to do a mock-up of what this would look like.

Dennis Franz shocked many by donning blackface and african-amercian style wig to play the part of smooth talking ladies man Detective Lester Freedom

 

[ernesto]

so when does filming start? this sounds great.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

In the mean time, tipped off by Shaney, I will have captured the whole thing and sold my photos to the tabloids.

Shergent Shaney (retired) to you, young lady. maybe we ought to include a brief bit about characters in posts - im forgetting everyone now...

_______________________________________
[Shergent Shaney who talksh like dish. Im a gruff retired police sergent moved to the city after spending my working life in a rural village. i now spend my days wandering the streets with my sheepdog Breda unintentionally witnessing crimes ]

 

[Squiggle]

Apologies Seargent Shaney (retired)... if it's any consolation I split the dosh with you before running back to my safe house and having minor plastic surgery and a quick change of identity before re-applying for my job as crime scene photographer.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

Apologies Seargent Shaney (retired)... if it's any consolation I split the dosh with you before running back to my safe house and having minor plastic surgery and a quick change of identity before re-applying for my job as crime scene photographer.

excellent. would you like to go for dinner with me in a posh restaurant? maybe later, following some discussion and hunches we could take a midnight stroll down to some warehouses on the docks where we could find state prosecutor belatrix face down in a pool of blood with a hatchet in her back. you could take some pics.

 

[therealjohnny]

I wouldn't mind the job of playing MOR bluesy guitar licks all over this show- Taggart style


or it more of a saxaphone type of thing?

 

[theweeyin]

I wouldn't mind the job of playing MOR bluesy guitar licks all over this show- Taggart style


or it more of a saxaphone type of thing?

Ah Taggart. The amount of people who think that is actually my surname. It's a hoot, it really is

 

[sweetoblivion]

Do you not want a bigger role?

I think most of us had you in mind to play Hightower.

Moses Hightower

Played by: Bubba Smith
Featured in six of the seven films, Hightower was a florist before joining the academy. He is best known for his immense stature and inhuman strength (Hightower practices for his driving test by ripping the front seat out of a compact car (a 1977 Honda Civic owned by Copeland), and steering comfortably from the back). His character often breaks things or uses force to threaten the bad guys. He can also drop easily into bad-cop mode, to gain the trust of crooks he's about to arrest. However, he too graduated from the academy with a decoration for bravery, and eventually made Lieutenant.



eh...cos he was a florist?
cos I don't have inhuman strength but I do break things.
I'd be a shit bad cop though.

 

[Squiggle]

excellent. would you like to go for dinner with me in a posh restaurant? maybe later, following some discussion and hunches we could take a midnight stroll down to some warehouses on the docks where we could find state prosecutor belatrix face down in a pool of blood with a hatchet in her back. you could take some pics.

Sounds good... the plastic surgery can wait.