If Thumped were a cop show... (1 Viewer)

[theweeyin]

Oh... lets just say people. But they might include certain members of the force. And I might just have evidence that the punks and the pimps have been seen consorting together... might mean that things are heating up on the streets.

Ooops! I've said too much... now I'll have to hide out. Anyone know a good safe house?

It's not me! !ninjaaaa




















You'd better find that safe house you snitch.

 

[CITY BABY]

can I be the rookie cop who joins the vice squad , to secretly hide the fact Im pimpin out a 14 year old boy to me mates. ...but...but...the ancient greeks...

 

[jane]

Kirstie is the one who does the hair and makeup for the dead folks. When she's done with them, they look....deadly!

 

[billygannon]

Jake Bullitt - traffic cop.

 

[flashback]

we also need a lab boffin.

I am fucking all over that lab boffin shit. What with me BEING a lab boffin, an all.

Or, maybe the guy that they go to to look up finger prints? Regardless, the white coat is on, and I want an unassumingly pretty assistant (with ass).

Thnx.

 

[therealjohnny]

They'll need you to sketch the crime scene when I am found horribly killed by the punks, pimps, crooked cops and the head of the drug squad.

Cool. I'm feeling it. But, now I'm just running this up the flagpole...is there any way we can re-imagine this scene..... but with a monkey?

 

[jane]

Damon_Kind is filthy but we all fucking love it

Yeah, and his greatest pride is the number of indecency claims that have been filed against him, none of which have stuck. He actually has them all plastered down the wall next to his desk. On the other side of his desk, strategically placed near the photocopier, he has a subtly placed mirror for looking up ladies' skirts. Pantsy notices it one day when he's changing the toner, and he tells Damon Kind that it'll be their little secret if he can peek, too. Pantsy uses it to play a game called, "I'll bet I can guess what colour undies you're wearing," a game which -- miraculously -- actually succeed in getting him laid pretty regularly.

And only my trusted partner JohnnyRaz knows that, despite my role as head of the Sexual and Racial Harassment Task Force, even I find Damon_Kind funny, though I can never admit it publicly, lest I undermine my credibility.

 

[therealjohnny]

can I be the rookie cop who joins the vice squad , to secretly hide the fact Im pimpin out a 14 year old boy to me mates. ...but...but...the ancient greeks...

too much reality man

way to harsh the buzz

 

[Squiggle]

Cool. I'm feeling it. But, now I'm just running this up the flagpole...is there any way we can re-imagine this scene..... but with a monkey?

How about this... it turns out that it is actually a monkey (which was involved in a series of mind control experiments - part of one of the plots that I had uncovered) which was sent to kill me... and having killed it I made it look like me in the hopes that my enemies would think that it had succeeded at it's task and I'd have enough time to flee the country.

 

[jane]

Oh, and while Damon_Kind has the most cases against him, it's Vinnie who wears the crown of Precinct Pervert, even though it's really groundless and kinda pisses him off. He's so easily enraged that every time he tries to write something, he pushes down so hard that his pencil breaks. He's a good cop, though, and everyone really loves him, partly because he gives the best Secret Santa presents.

 

[Doctor Muscles]

Bagsy being a hermit-like, eye-patch wearing police archivist
named Patches Le Pen.

 

[therealjohnny]

How about this... it turns out that it is actually a monkey (which was involved in a series of mind control experiments - part of one of the plots that I had uncovered) which was sent to kill me... and having killed it I made it look like me in the hopes that my enemies would think that it had succeeded at it's task and I'd have enough time to flee the country.

gold! take that! scriptwriters of Nip/Tuck

 

[ernesto]

this is lord Damian, drafted in to deal with the increasing asylum seekers and their problems:

 

[Mormon Nailer]

I wanna be Lester Freeman:

 

[La La]

ernesto's the stoner bum who sits outside the copshop yelling as people walk by

 

[jane]

I wanna be Lester Freeman:

But played by Dennis Franz?

I'm confused. Please get johnnystress, our police sketch artist, to do a mock-up of what this would look like.

 

[sexypornolady]

I wanna speak to a lawyer.

 

[Squiggle]

If Sexypornolady doesn't already have a role - hooker with the heart of gold who is perpetually picked up for soliciting and spends every episode sitting on a chair in the waiting area winking at passing cops and exchanging witty banter.

I wanna speak to a lawyer.

 

[La La]

If Sexypornolady doesn't already have a role - hooker with the heart of gold who is perpetually picked up for soliciting and spends every episode sitting on a chair in the waiting area winking at passing cops and exchanging witty banter.

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and occasionally running to the ladies cos she has the runs

 

[Pantone247]

I think RAMPZ should be the young hot cop. He never gets any lines in the show, and really doesn't do much for the plot, but always seems to have to take his top of at some point...