If Thumped were a cop show... (1 Viewer)

[Mormon Nailer]

But played by Dennis Franz?

I'm confused. Please get johnnystress, our police sketch artist, to do a mock-up of what this would look like.

I wanna be played by Dennis Franz cause he is the Laurence Olivier of television. (we won't mention his part in Die Hard II)

But I want to be Lesters charachter - the super competent guy with the cool ideas.

Dennis can make it work.

 

[Lili Marlene]

I guess I'll be the nephew of the producer of the show who gets his name in the end credits so he doesn't feel left out but really...... no one knows or cares who he is.

*sigh*

is that a paid part?

 

[nEiLo]

can i guest direct an episode?

 

[egg_]

Can I be The Fool? Someone who never gets listened to, but who is always right?
Do they have those in cop shows?

 

[jane]

Can I be The Fool? Someone who never gets listened to, but who is always right?
Do they have those in cop shows?

Totally.

Snaky and Ro are sergeants: tough, but fair.

Also, whenever yizzers bring yer nippers for Bring Your Daughters To Work Day, they always end up cracking cases and stealing hearts.

 

[Squiggle]

Wheels is the guy in the know who runs the newspaper stand on the corner, always good for a tip off or two.

 

[jane]

Wheels is the guy in the know who runs the newspaper stand on the corner, always good for a tip off or two.

He's also a departmental favourite, due to his Warhol-style footage of urban landscapes that has helped us catch more than one perp. He speaks in a puzzling cockney backslang and dresses like a character from that ill-fated Disney musical, "Newsies".

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

i demand a part in this show.

i want to be Shergent Shaney who talksh like dish. Im a gruff retired sergent (is that how you spell it) moved to the city after spending my working life in a rural village. i now spend my days wandering the streets with my sheepdog Breda and end up witnessing lots of crimes thereby securing myself plentiful scenes at the most exciting part of each epsiode and also in all the courtroom bits. there will also be opportunities for breda to nab a few villains.

 

[Lord Damian]

holy fuck.

 

[jane]

Roisin and Michelle are vice squad. With their youthful looks and sassy attitudes, they've cracked many a prostitution ring. Mackle's hooker empire, however, continues to elude and frustrate them. Curses!

We still need parts for loads of people. Christ, this is some cast! Gonna be a great show. We'll be ignored by the IFTAs, of course, but we'll sweep the Emmys and the Golden Globes, no problem. The Broadway musical version (composed by Stoat, set on the high seas, and directed by stunning) will clean up at the Tony Awards.

 

[flashback]

Maybe we could ask the lads that made that Irish Seinfeld thing to do it for us?
Do you think they would be on for that?

I'd send Billy in first to sweet talk them.

 

[jane]

Maybe we could ask the lads that made that Irish Seinfeld thing to do it for us?
Do you think they would be on for that?

I'd send Billy in first to sweet talk them.

Yeah, I hear they're 'between projects' at the moment.

Way to smoosh our hopes and dreams, flashback. You've just been demoted from fingerprints to foecal analysis.

 

[jillface]

can i be something?
i could read maps for the vice squad, dodging the dead ends around the docks is crucial!

it's either that or

cos it's awesome

 

[jane]

can i be something?
i could read maps for the vice squad, dodging the dead ends around the docks is crucial!

it's either that or

cos it's awesome

Oh, yes! A whizz of a cartographic expert -- just what we need! How are you with gadgets? Could you be a McGyver-style gadgets lady, too? I think that'd suit you.

And everyone gets to be something, of course.

 

[Corey]

I own a bar where everybody knows your name,frequented by everyone at different times; tying all plotlines together whilst simultaneously changing the format to sit-com whenever there are scenes in said bar, replete with snappy one-liners and audience laugh-track. But only where there are scenes in the bar.

Osama and Lefty head the Ultra-Force Department for Serious Crimes against Hard Rock.

Hector Grey: Kingpin.
Vinnie: Cunt.

Mrs B Haven: Hooker in the know/ Pastry Shop employee.

 

[Hector Grey]

i'm the local parish priest. all the "dicks" and "bulls" come to me with their woes. And the prossies. and the drug dealers. i also run the local AA chapter, which is of course full of the "dicks" and "bulls". and of course i coach teh under 14 girls basketball team down in St Ignacius. Oh yeah. that i do.

 

[ernesto]

ernesto's the stoner bum who sits outside the copshop yelling as people walk by

Hey!!!!!
what the hell do you mean!!!??? wha???


oh..... i see.

 

[Hector Grey]

Hector Grey: Kingpin.
Vinnie: Cunt.

Mrs B Haven: Hooker in the know/ Pastry Shop employee.

kinfpin eh? pretending to be the local priest. yeah, but you'll never find that out until the very very last episode.

"diplomatic imunity...FROM GOD, pig"
kablamoooooooo

 

[shitepipe]

reporting for duty...

 

[jillface]

man, i'm all about the gadgets.
dude, this is the best job ever.

hey has anyone ever watched that show reno911?
they can be our idols.