I AM IN A BAKE AND REALLY NEDD TO BREAK SOMEONES JAW! (1 Viewer)

[timbot]

Yeah, as mentioned here before, I had to throw out a half bottle of orange juice (fine) but was allowed on board with aerosols and a lighter. So stupid.

Have you been through Heathrow lately? There is a layer of posters six or seven thick with different, conflicting policies on it. Now you are meant to keep your shoes on (I guess the pong was getting too much for them).

 

[tombstome]

Bad Scene Rich
hope you make the egg chasing festival somehow.
I forgot i had a swiss army knife in my bag going through Shannon airport months ago.
had it confiscated but rang my mate (who worked at a boarding gate)to come down,collect it and put it in his locker.
i explained this to the security folks & ran for my plane
he arrived down 20 mins later & it had emm vanished.
fucking thieves

 

[timbot]

I had a pocket knife taken off me at security in Logan.

It was about 4" long and could have been used as a stabbing or cutting weapon.

True story.

Yeah, but I think that it is reasonable if still a little harsh.

 

[chickenham]

Can you bring tears on a plane?

Best to cry them all out before you get to security. They have a sick puppy in a tiny basket over by the ATMs if you need inspiration.

 

[broken arm]

SERIOUSLY IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO PUT STUFF INTO A PLASTIC AND ASK THE PERSON IF YOU NEED TO TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES, BELT OR THE LAPTOP OUT OF THE BAG. PEOPLE WHO HOLD ME UP IN AIRPORT/EUROSTAR QUEUES BECAUSE THEY CAN'T COMPREHEND REALLY SIMPLE RULES AND THINK THEIR FUCKING TOILETRIES ARE SO FUCKING PRECIOUS THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO PISS EVERYONE ELSE OFF REALLY NEED A KICK IN THE FUCK

FUCK OFF WITH YOUR PRINCIPLES AND GET ON THE FUCKING PLANE.

there i said it, phew

 

[muffin]

The boy always keeps a Swiss Army knife and a bike repair kit in his bag. We flew from Dublin to London and then on to Sweden without anybody noticing any of them. To be honest we didn't even remember they were there. So at the airport in Sweden on the way home yr wan cops there is a knife in Dave's bag. So she gives him an envelope and tells him he can post it home, which was pretty sound. We then went to either Heathrow or Stansted. Anyways they scan Dave's bag and yr man pulls him over and says they have to search it. So he starts emptying the bag and pulls out probably 5/6 fashion magazines that I'd been reading on the train in Sweden. He looks at Dave and says 'Keeping yrself busy were ya?'..Cue me almost vomiting all over his creepy rubber gloves.He confiscates the bike kit and gives the big speech about what you can or can't bring on. We didn't bother getting in to it with him about how we had already flown with it.Prick.

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

Bad Scene Rich
hope you make the egg chasing festival somehow.
I forgot i had a swiss army knife in my bag going through Shannon airport months ago.
had it confiscated but rang my mate (who worked at a boarding gate)to come down,collect it and put it in his locker.
i explained this to the security folks & ran for my plane
he arrived down 20 mins later & it had emm vanished.
fucking thieves

correct me if i'm wrong, Tombstone, but didn't you and
Bad Scene Rich pull a knife on someone in a chalet at
ATP once? hahah

 

[Vinnie]

I was in the Wicklow mountains burying something when I saw a man dressed as airport security selling little non transparent bags of toiletries. We both agreed to say nothing except on Thumped.

 

[Jill Hives]

You sound like me, broken arm. If someone waits to take their belt off or their computer out of their bag until the last damn second, I get annoyed. Seriously, at this point in life, FFS is being said in my head over and over. Eye rolls galore.

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

SERIOUSLY IT'S NOT THAT DIFFICULT TO PUT STUFF INTO A PLASTIC AND ASK THE PERSON IF YOU NEED TO TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES, BELT OR THE LAPTOP OUT OF THE BAG. PEOPLE WHO HOLD ME UP IN AIRPORT/EUROSTAR QUEUES BECAUSE THEY CAN'T COMPREHEND REALLY SIMPLE RULES AND THINK THEIR FUCKING TOILETRIES ARE SO FUCKING PRECIOUS THAT THEY ARE WILLING TO PISS EVERYONE ELSE OFF REALLY NEED A KICK IN THE FUCK

FUCK OFF WITH YOUR PRINCIPLES AND GET ON THE FUCKING PLANE.

there i said it, phew

Let me know the Reputation feedback on that, will you?

 

[Froog]

i buy really cheap aftershave, so the toiletries doesnt bother me too much.
my gold flaked shampoo is a different story tho.

 

[Mormon Nailer]

300 quid for a flight from Cork
Taxi back from airport 35
Petrol to vork.

If I was annoyed earlier i'm fuming now

I'm meeting a friend over and have his match ticket so cancelling is not an option.

I reallywant to make as nuvh trouble for this clown as possible

Suggestions

 

[Froog]

JIHAD!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Vinnie]

I just put a bit of toothpaste, deodorant & shower gel in my mouth and spit it into a cigarette box once Im on the plane. Those airport fucks dont know what hit them.

 

[rettucs]

I once went through airport security and they totally missed the massive weapon I had stashed in my pants

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

I once went through airport security and they totally missed the massive weapon I had stashed in my pants

Under 100ml?

 

[rettucs]

Under 100ml?

occasionally, yes

 

[broken arm]

Let me know the Reputation feedback on that, will you?

maybe i should leave thumped 4EVA

 

[jane]

What about 101ml of baby gravy in the mouth?

What's their policy on mooncups?

I also get annoyed when people hold things up, but sometimes it's not so easy. Your arms are full trying to carry all your shit separately, so you can't always have the shoes off before you get there. I try to do all of my organising and emptying beforehand, but I don't always have a free hand to hold a belt and a handful of change.

I try to bring a plastic bag with me, but some of the airports don't even have them anymore, which is lame. And they don't enforce it consistently, so you can fly for ages without worry, and you get comfortable, and next thing, you're being given out to for doing something that was unofficially fine to do yesterday.

I can't believe how normal the stupid restrictions seem to me after such a short time. If you'd told me three years ago, I'd have spit in your eye and called you a liar. It just worries me that it's become normalised, and it's only goign to get worse the more we feel this stuff is normal and okay.

Oh, and remember that big deal where someone got a gun through Dublin Airport Security and they were like, "WE ARE BEEFY" for three days and you had to go there like five hours early? I flew back and forth to Paris in that time period, and it was only after I got back that I realised I had my little Leatherman Micra in my bag. It was under the cardboard lining thingy at the bottom, so I didn't spot it, but which means that if they'd seen it, it would look like I was trying to conceal it. I just can't believe they didn't see the VERY VERY OBVIOUS knife in my bag. It'd have been my own damn fault if they had found it -- I shoud have checked more carefully, but that they didn't spot it means their temporary beef-up was only for show.

 

[jane]

Actually, I think next time I fly, I'll put a bunch of yogurt in my mouth just as I'm about to go through security.

I'll sort of gargle, "Do you want me to spit this out?"

If they say yes, I'll ask if they have a baster.