I AM IN A BAKE AND REALLY NEDD TO BREAK SOMEONES JAW! (1 Viewer)

[ratmonkey]

What's funny is, that liquid bombs on planes dont, never did, and can't exist.
They are not possible.
To make a liquid bomb on a plane, you would basically need another plane flying along beside you full of liquid nitrogen to keep stuff cool, a fairly well set up lab, and some kind of platform that will damp the planes vibrations.

Its just impossible.
Everyone knows this, they always did know it, the whole thing was never anything more than PR.

But what about those bombs with the two liquids mixing like in the third Die Hard?

Has television been lying to me?

 

[Mormon Nailer]

Wrong day to do the righteous indigantion act.

that's the worst of it - I was pretty calm just reasoning with them - like I said I'd used the same setup often in loads of countries with no problem - so I figured if I just state may case calmly for a few seconds they will either see sense or get bored.

The supervisor was like a raving fucking lunatic the moment he came over.


I know me an adrenalin have done strange things together over the years but this time I promise - I wasn't me.

 

[jane]

monsters under your bed.

HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
http://www.archibaldcampbell.com/whydo.html

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

that's the worst of it - I was pretty calm just reasoning with them - like I said I'd used the same setup often in loads of countries with no problem - so I figured if I just state may case calmly for a few seconds they will either see sense or get bored.

The supervisor was like a raving fucking lunatic the moment he came over.


I know me an adrenalin have done strange things together over the years but this time I promise - I wasn't me.

I hope it's a good match now.

 

[Mormon Nailer]

I hope it's a good match now.

I was in Twickenham the time they put 50 points on us - I'm ready for anything

 

[flashback]

in fairness to Nailer, I think Airports make some people go mad.
I was taken aside by US immigration, with a full stamped out visa, work permit, all sorts of paperwork from my University, brought to a room, and screamed at.
I had no idea what the problem was.

My uncle lives here, and got citizenship there, so I told him that he could ring him, or my Uni and ask them about me. (Very wide eyed and meekly.)

This just spurred him on to higher levels of rage.
YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS IN AMERICA [sic] BOY???
ITS 4 IN THE MORNING BOOOOOY!
WHOOOO'S GONNA BE AWAKE NOW BOY.
YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOOOOL BOOOY?

[silence]

ehh, no?

YOU IN A LLOOOOOOTTA TROUBLE BOY.

emm.
And then he just shook his head, stamped the passport, sent me on to the plane.
As I was leaving,

IF YEEEEWW AINT OUTTA THE COUNTRA BAA THAT DATE ON YO PASSPORT BOY, WE WILL FIND YOU. YOU IN A LLOOOOTTA TROUBLE BOY.

 

[timbot]

Actually, I seem to set off the metal detectors all the time no matter how carefully I empty my pockets. I have started taking alot of business trips lately and I flew to Paris in the morning and back that evening without putting anything into any of my pockets or anything. So I beeped on the way back and not on the way over. I asked the security guard what the story was. He told me that they are set up to beep for about 1 in 10 people randomly. I asked him why I always got searched. He said sometimes they are not that random. Mad one huh?

 

[jane]

in fairness to Nailer, I think Airports make some people go mad.
I was taken aside by US immigration, with a full stamped out visa, work permit, all sorts of paperwork from my University, brought to a room, and screamed at.
I had no idea what the problem was.

My uncle lives here, and got citizenship there, so I told him that he could ring him, or my Uni and ask them about me. (Very wide eyed and meekly.)

This just spurred him on to higher levels of rage.
YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS IN AMERICA [sic] BOY???
ITS 4 IN THE MORNING BOOOOOY!
WHOOOO'S GONNA BE AWAKE NOW BOY.
YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOOOOL BOOOY?

[silence]

ehh, no?

YOU IN A LLOOOOOOTTA TROUBLE BOY.

emm.
And then he just shook his head, stamped the passport, sent me on to the plane.
As I was leaving,

IF YEEEEWW AINT OUTTA THE COUNTRA BAA THAT DATE ON YO PASSPORT BOY, WE WILL FIND YOU. YOU IN A LLOOOOTTA TROUBLE BOY.

Jesus, that's fucking awful.


A friend of mine had a not-quite-so-rednecky experience going back to the UK from Italy. She's married to a German guy but they live in the UK, work in separate universities and have separate research projects in different parts of Italy during the summer. It's just how academia ends up working for a lot of couples.

She was going back to the UK, and they started telling her that they were going to deport her, or send her back to the last airport she was in, because her husband was not waiting for her at the arrivals gate. Because he was in Italy. Where she'd just been visiting him.

They started going on about how the game was up and they were on to her marriage of convenience and she was in a lot of trouble, etc etc. She calmly pointed out that it was actually a marriage of INCONVENIENCE because they hardly ever get to live in the same place for long, and that if they did send her back to the airport she came from, at least she could spend some more time with her husband. They told her that next time she should bring a signed letter from him, indicating that he was hers, fair and square, or whatever. Eventually, she was allowed through, but they kept her there for a good 45 minutes or so, and they scared the crap out of her.

Fucking nuts.

It's partly because these people have been given 'discretionary powers'. That's what happens when you give someone discretionary powers and then don't monitor how they are used or abused.

Airports make everyone a bit crazy. I'm really on edge when I'm in one. I hate airports I hate flying. UGH.

 

[Mitchum]

It's the way airports are designed. They look like hospitals when they should look like, I dunno, Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

 

[flashback]

Jesus, that's fucking awful.


A friend of mine had a not-quite-so-rednecky experience going back to the UK from Italy. She's married to a German guy but they live in the UK, work in separate universities and have separate research projects in different parts of Italy during the summer. It's just how academia ends up working for a lot of couples..

I had a mad one in the UK too, when I was about 14.
They were looking through my bags, I think there had just been a bomb on the mainland UK or something, lone Irish guy, and they found some wierd shit in there that I had bought in Flea Markets when I was living in Germany.

Basically they were fairly freaked out. They had the gloves on. I was thinking that losing my virginity in Heathrow with this man would not be that cool.
In the end they just tore everything apart and dumped everthing out of the bag, asked me questions, (asked me mind) and then fucked off.
I was gathering up my shit in the middle of the airport, trying to pack it back into bags, and people were all walking past giving me looks.
So it goes I suppose.

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

in fairness to Nailer, I think Airports make some people go mad.
I was taken aside by US immigration, with a full stamped out visa, work permit, all sorts of paperwork from my University, brought to a room, and screamed at.
I had no idea what the problem was.

My uncle lives here, and got citizenship there, so I told him that he could ring him, or my Uni and ask them about me. (Very wide eyed and meekly.)

This just spurred him on to higher levels of rage.
YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS IN AMERICA [sic] BOY???
ITS 4 IN THE MORNING BOOOOOY!
WHOOOO'S GONNA BE AWAKE NOW BOY.
YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOOOOL BOOOY?

[silence]

ehh, no?

YOU IN A LLOOOOOOTTA TROUBLE BOY.

emm.
And then he just shook his head, stamped the passport, sent me on to the plane.
As I was leaving,

IF YEEEEWW AINT OUTTA THE COUNTRA BAA THAT DATE ON YO PASSPORT BOY, WE WILL FIND YOU. YOU IN A LLOOOOTTA TROUBLE BOY.

well at least the big boss man found work after WWF, maybe you reminded him of Nailz?

 

[flashback]

well at least the big boss man found work after WWF, maybe you reminded him of Nailz?

Possibly.

He was some cunt now that I think of it.

When he was doing the looootta trouble routine, he prduced this red ink and stamp yoke.

And he looked down at the red ink, and then up at me, and I'm thinking, ah bollix, red ink, always a bad sign.

And then he opens the passport, and stamps the shit out of it, and throws it back at me.

Ha ha haha.
Funny fucker. Smart. He said nothing for a second, making me think I had been refused. then he told me I was in.
AerLingus had given away my seat at this point, and started to unload my bags.
So, when I got on the plane, the only place left to sit was first class.

And I reeeeeked of sweat and fear. I was sitting there, shaking, and smelling.
Would you like some Champaign sir?
Sound.

 

[broken arm]

edit: shouty broken arm, i solemnly swear my laptop and toiletries were sitting ready in separate trays already, though.

jaysus yea. i don't know what came over me.....

I actually quite like the inconsistency of travel destinations and negotiating strange situations.

I always have different stuff happening. e.g. having the insides of my bag swabbed and the swabs run through a a machine. Having creams and what not being tested with PH swipes etc

I used to have the habit of raising my arms as i walked through the detectors.

 

[flashback]

I got into the habit of throwing my gun around the outside of the metal detectors and then whipping my arm around and catching it on the far side.


(That was the coolest thing about A Fish Called Wanda.)

 

[maims bond]

I went through security in an airport before, did what the security people told me, and everything was grand.

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

The Man.
What a cunt, eh?

 

[flashback]

I went through security in an airport before, did what the security people told me, and everything was grand.

Jesus.

Has anyone else had an experience like this???

 

[Wilbert]

I went through security in an airport before, did what the security people told me, and everything was grand.

The same thing happened to me. A few times.


I don't like to talk about it though........

 

[Froog]

Jesus.

Has anyone else had an experience like this???

yes, this happens me all the time! do i look like a tourist or something?

 

[Space]

I'm not sure about any Chemistry. I'm not a chemist at all.

But I am sure that all the lads on the 8th/9th/10th/11th floor who are chemists, all seem very confident that its all a load of bollocks.

I dunno what the crack with bringing a tub of mercury onto a plane would be like, but I would imagine that would show up on an X-Ray machine like a mother fucker.

Nah, seriously, like Pete linked out there, its not feasible. Even the US have admitted as much.
It was never anything more than monsters under your bed.

There's monsters under my bed?