Guys, what's the closest you've come to losing your willy? (1 Viewer)

[La La]

bump

(hey, it's not my fault - this was in the similar threads on georgie's ub40 one.)


any updates since you all peed on electric fences and had your willies near magnatised to death and wanked your pricks off? can anyone top those a few years on?


gwaaaaan.

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

Heard a story about a lad who jumped over a barbed wire fence, and was gonna carry on running after the ice cream van (or whatever) until he felt a wet patch in his pants.. his sack had ripped and was hanging down between his legs like an orange peel.
Rough.

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

i know smeone that nearly lost there's in a bacon slicer

Mick McCarthy?

 

[Jerry Twig]

Heard a story about a lad who jumped over a barbed wire fence, and was gonna carry on running after the ice cream van (or whatever) until he felt a wet patch in his pants.. his sack had ripped and was hanging down between his legs like an orange peel.
Rough.

This post is bang out of order

 

[Corey]

I cant find my previous effort at telling this tale.

a bar i worked in had it's hatch locked during clean up, so as was the norm in such circumstances, i simply hopped over, swung my legs around and pushed off. Unfrotunately some fucking genius had left a broom propped up against the lower shelf behind the bar, and this broom had a hook on the tip of the stick.

The bar was about two feet lower than the lounge floor, and i did'nt realise the broom handle was there until it punctured the inside of my thigh, ran a trench up to my groin, and shredded my ballsack. When i went to the jacks to stem the bleedong and inspect the damage my balls came down with my boxers. They hang past your knees if they're unbagged y'know.

Cue three weeks in hospital to repair arteries and circulation in my leg, clean and fix my balls, and more stitches in my boy-bag than a railroad has tracks.

Yeah, that was a fun summer.

 

[the departed]

I cant find my previous effort at telling this tale.

a bar i worked in had it's hatch locked during clean up, so as was the norm in such circumstances, i simply hopped over, swung my legs around and pushed off. Unfrotunately some fucking genius had left a broom propped up against the lower shelf behind the bar, and this broom had a hook on the tip of the stick.

The bar was about two feet lower than the lounge floor, and i did'nt realise the broom handle was there until it punctured the inside of my thigh, ran a trench up to my groin, and shredded my ballsack. When i went to the jacks to stem the bleedong and inspect the damage my balls came down with my boxers. They hang past your knees if they're unbagged y'know.

Cue three weeks in hospital to repair arteries and circulation in my leg, clean and fix my balls, and more stitches in my boy-bag than a railroad has tracks.

Yeah, that was a fun summer.

oh.my.fuck.

 

[Pat Pockets]

I cant find my previous effort at telling this tale.

a bar i worked in had it's hatch locked during clean up, so as was the norm in such circumstances, i simply hopped over, swung my legs around and pushed off. Unfrotunately some fucking genius had left a broom propped up against the lower shelf behind the bar, and this broom had a hook on the tip of the stick.

The bar was about two feet lower than the lounge floor, and i did'nt realise the broom handle was there until it punctured the inside of my thigh, ran a trench up to my groin, and shredded my ballsack. When i went to the jacks to stem the bleedong and inspect the damage my balls came down with my boxers. They hang past your knees if they're unbagged y'know.

Cue three weeks in hospital to repair arteries and circulation in my leg, clean and fix my balls, and more stitches in my boy-bag than a railroad has tracks.

Yeah, that was a fun summer.

fucking hell.

 

[Gambra]

I'm feeling the pain right now Corey. How did you not pass out from the pain? Wasn't there blood everywhere?!!

 

[ernesto]

I cant find my previous effort at telling this tale.

a bar i worked in had it's hatch locked during clean up, so as was the norm in such circumstances, i simply hopped over, swung my legs around and pushed off. Unfrotunately some fucking genius had left a broom propped up against the lower shelf behind the bar, and this broom had a hook on the tip of the stick.

The bar was about two feet lower than the lounge floor, and i did'nt realise the broom handle was there until it punctured the inside of my thigh, ran a trench up to my groin, and shredded my ballsack. When i went to the jacks to stem the bleedong and inspect the damage my balls came down with my boxers. They hang past your knees if they're unbagged y'know.

Cue three weeks in hospital to repair arteries and circulation in my leg, clean and fix my balls, and more stitches in my boy-bag than a railroad has tracks.

Yeah, that was a fun summer.

 

[Corey]

I'm feeling the pain right now Corey. How did you not pass out from the pain? Wasn't there blood everywhere?!!

there's no difference tween a boot in the balls and a broom inside the bag. I ruptured an artery in my groin, there was blood. Thought it just hurt till i noticed the river out of my left trouser leg. I put them back in, wadded the mess with paper, and rang a cab.

I'd say it was cos i'm dead hard, but i was probably in shock.

Cabbie asked me how i was doing when i got in. He went faster than any ambulance ever could.

They're a pleasant shade of pale olive green by the way.

 

[flashback]

ULSTER SAYS NO TO ANY MORE COREY TESTICLE STORIES

 

[Corey]

But, but, there's so much more.

Waking up and being told i might loose my balls and my left leg below the knee, then passing out immeidiatly. Male doctors secretly upping my morphine on request, and without hesitation or question.Ambulance paramedics trained in keeping spirits up being lost for words. MC Hammer Trousers, etc. I could go on.

 

[the departed]

But, but, there's so much more.

Waking up and being told i might loose my balls and my left leg below the knee, then passing out immeidiatly. Male doctors secretly upping my morphine on request, and without hesitation or question.Ambulance paramedics trained in keeping spirits up being lost for words. MC Hammer Trousers, etc. I could go on.

corey... next time i see you i am giving you an amazing hug.

 

[flashback]

I think it can be agreed upon that Corey wins.



Olive green.

 

[therealjohnny]

Jesus fucking christ

 

[broken arm]

tis but one little story in coreys legendaryness.

 

[timbot]

I was playing games in secondary school except I wasn't any good so me and a bunch of the lads used to just hang around the goal posts chatting. One of the lads was hanging from his feet off the crossbar, he slipped, his sack got caught in one of the netting hooks and he left it and his two testes behind him.
It was pretty bad.

 

[therealjohnny]

shut up shut up shut up

 

[Froog]

this thread is painful.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

bump

(hey, it's not my fault - this was in the similar threads on georgie's ub40 one.)


any updates since you all peed on electric fences and had your willies near magnatised to death and wanked your pricks off? can anyone top those a few years on?


gwaaaaan.

remember the schnapper posted a picture recently of some guys cock after he had pissed on an electric fence and it was sizzled to bits and all black and pete banned him for posting it. i think thats what happened to it anyway, i forget

shut up shut up shut up

yeah, come on lads stop being so disgusting