Guys, what's the closest you've come to losing your willy? (2 Viewers)

[plug]

amazing thread. AMAZING.

 

[plug]

also:

 

[rettucs]

vaseline should NEVER be used down there!!!! it's not good for girl bits AND it dissolves condoms apparently.

docs say people should only use water-based stuff

mix vaseline and water then.

or lard maybe.

or WD40.

 

[rettucs]

aaaaaagh

remind me not to read this thread again

NEVER READ THIS THREAD AGAIN SNAKY

 

[Squiggle]

mix vaseline and water then.

or lard maybe.

or WD40.

I love the way that adequate foreplay isn't considered an option

 

[ernesto]

mix vaseline and water then.

or lard maybe.

or WD40.

?

 

[Lili Marlene]

I love the way that adequate foreplay isn't considered an option

well how about....

 

[rettucs]

I love the way that adequate foreplay isn't considered an option

'adequate' is so open to interpretation.

that makes the whole thing just a waste of time. Otherwise there'll be arguments you see

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

is there some sort of meter you can get?

 

[the strange guy]

A fine night.
A beautiful woman.
The eye contact.
The flirtation.
Her apartment.
Bottles of expensive red wine.
Then it happened.
A kiss.
A touch.
The ecstacy of such a moment.
Her multi-studded diamond ring.
My cock.
The blood.
The blood.
The blood.
The apologies.
The taxi home.

It healed extremely well, like some kind of dick starfish.

 

[Froog]

it wasn't the banjo string, it was something else. the blood was coming out of his jap's eye at a fierce pace.
poor lad indeed.

do you have a vampire vag?

 

[cephalopod]

I ripped my ball sack on the edge of a nail whilst sliding down the banisters aged 8 or 9. I also had the Something About Mary experience as an 18 year old. Ended up in hospital, following having fallen asleep with it still stuck in my zipper. After 12 hours dead drunk sleep, it had swollen.

 

[george mcfly]

After 12 hours dead drunk sleep, it had swollen.

wait.. that's good though, right?

 

[cpr]

wait.. that's good though, right?

pryapism is always good right?

 

[cephalopod]

No it had swollen like an ant bitten hand, not good

 

[george mcfly]

No it had swollen like an ant bitten hand, not good

like a baby's arm hanging out of a pram?

 

[Jill Hives]

like a baby's arm hanging out of a pram?

That's a very disturbing image in my head now.

 

[cpr]

like a baby's arm holding an apple?

 

[george mcfly]

That's a very disturbing image in my head now.

yeah, i regret it popping into my head already

 

[cephalopod]

yeah it ended up swallowing up the zipper the way a treetrunk will envelope barbed wire fencing sometimes