Guys, what's the closest you've come to losing your willy? (3 Viewers)

[Catwoman]

Did any of yis see that programme about parasites a few years ago? Some lad had a piss into a river, in South America somewhere I think, and there's these parasite fish who jump into the piss stream and lodge themselves into the mickey and eat it from within. It's hard to get them out because they have barbs, so you can't just yank them out. I forget how they got it out in the end, I think they had to slice the willy up a bit. I mainly remember my husband practically crying and going 'oh my god, oh my god' watching it. It was a bit grim.

Don't piss into rivers, lads.

 

[rettucs]

fuxsake

I've heard some horrendous tales of woe concerning the banjo string. Nothing like the stories here though.

Though, this one lad I know got a ferocious belt in the ballbag when playing hurling. One of his sliotars swelled up to the size of a tennis ball, so twas off to the hospital. He was dealt with by this Indian doctor that looked fairly young and inexperienced. He said that the sliotar had to come out and right now. Yer man (my mate) nearly fainted hearing this. The doc was off doing paper work and making calls to get him admitted when my mate insisted on a second opinion. This other doc came in, took a look and told him he'd be grand. Just take a course of anti-inflammatories. He did, and hes grand. Well, I think that encounter made him appreciate what he had and he turned into a right randy fucker after. Still is to this day, even though in his late 40s.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

Did any of yis see that programme about parasites a few years ago? Some lad had a piss into a river, in South America somewhere I think, and there's these parasite fish who jump into the piss stream and lodge themselves into the mickey and eat it from within. It's hard to get them out because they have barbs, so you can't just yank them out. I forget how they got it out in the end, I think they had to slice the willy up a bit. I mainly remember my husband practically crying and going 'oh my god, oh my god' watching it. It was a bit grim.

Don't piss into rivers, lads.

sounds like the terrifying tooth pick fish

http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=797 - IF YOU DARE!!!

 

[Catwoman]

sounds like the terrifying tooth pick fish

http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=797 - IF YOU DARE!!!

Once inside, the parasite inches its way up the urethra to the nearest blood-gorged membrane, extends its spines into the surrounding tissue, and starts feasting.

What an amazing sentence. So few words and yet so much horror.

 

[therealjohnny]

 

[Pantone247]

When i went to the jacks to stem the bleedong and inspect the damage my balls came down with my boxers. They hang past your knees if they're unbagged y'know.

Jesus... and to think they still managed to come back from that horror story and make a baby... Corey, I salute your and your testicles...

 

[Corey]

fuxsake

I've heard some horrendous tales of woe concerning the banjo string. Nothing like the stories here though.

Though, this one lad I know got a ferocious belt in the ballbag when playing hurling. One of his sliotars swelled up to the size of a tennis ball, so twas off to the hospital. He was dealt with by this Indian doctor that looked fairly young and inexperienced. He said that the sliotar had to come out and right now. Yer man (my mate) nearly fainted hearing this. The doc was off doing paper work and making calls to get him admitted when my mate insisted on a second opinion. This other doc came in, took a look and told him he'd be grand. Just take a course of anti-inflammatories. He did, and hes grand. Well, I think that encounter made him appreciate what he had and he turned into a right randy fucker after. Still is to this day, even though in his late 40s.

He was'nt on Louglhinstown hospital by any chance?

 

[rettucs]

He was'nt on Louglhinstown hospital by any chance?

can't remember exactly. But it was somewhere like that. Like it wasn't one of the main hospitals

 

[Corey]

Jesus... and to think they still managed to come back from that horror story and make a baby... Corey, I salute your and your testicles...

We should've called her Hope.


I admitted myself to Loughlinstown before being transferred to Vincents for surgery. There was and indian Doctor there who came in, glanced at the inferno between my legs, and then proceeded to check my shoulder. "It's Fine" he said, then left. After a brief meeting with a nurse, and a subsequent screaming match overheard outside between the two, the Doc came back in and hastily cleaned and untangled my balls by hand. Without an anaesthetic.

 

[Hector Grey]

We should've called her Hope.


I admitted myself to Loughlinstown before being transferred to Vincents for surgery. There was and indian Doctor there who came in, glanced at the inferno between my legs, and then proceeded to check my shoulder. "It's Fine" he said, then left. After a brief meeting with a nurse, and a subsequent screaming match overheard outside between the two, the Doc came back in and hastily cleaned and untangled my balls by hand. Without an anaesthetic.

gulp. i'm calling you gory from now on, but in the meantime, i must go for a lie down and possibly vomit in me handbag.

 

[La La]

shredded my ballsack. When i went to the jacks to stem the bleedong and inspect the damage my balls came down with my boxers. They hang past your knees if they're unbagged y'know.

jesus.

They're a pleasant shade of pale olive green by the way.

JESUS.

yes?

the Doc came back in and hastily cleaned and untangled my balls by hand. Without an anaesthetic.

JESUS.

and you still managed to procreate? high five.

 

[aled jones]

I tore a hole in my nutsack once during an overly enthusiastic drunken electric pubic shave.

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

I tore a hole in my nutsack once during an overly enthusiastic drunken electric pubic shave.

Oh lordy.

 

[Jerry Twig]

There's no way I'm reading any of that

 

[flashback]

The world is apparently awash with torn open scrotum sacks, and knee high bollocks.


Interesting.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

The world is apparently awash with torn open scrotum sacks, and knee high bollocks.


Interesting.

im still haunted by the green olives hanging down to the knees

 

[flashback]

im still haunted by the green olives hanging down to the knees

Yeah.
Olive green.

Certain things can't be unread.
Well done Corey.

 

[rettucs]

I would there be any point starting a female equivalent of this thread?

just for balance and fairness like

 

[flashback]

I would there be any point starting a female equivalent of this thread?

just for balance and fairness like

Boys danglers were designed by Chevrolet in the mid 1950s.
Japanese engineers did the girls woo-woos.

 

[Super Dexta]

I would there be any point starting a female equivalent of this thread?

just for balance and fairness like

we keep our important bits stored away in sensible places inside, not dangling in the breeze for all the world to damage.

though i did once nearly break a young man with my sensible places. blood everywhere. horrors.