guys: anthology of boners (1 Viewer)

[plug]

the ramboner

where the sufferer staggers around blank eyed & slack jawed, wielding their, ahem, "weapon" in a threatening manner..

for example:

 

[SadieOutlaw]

work boner: i got a boner 5 minutes ago from the contents of a mail my lady sent me. totally awesome. i couldn't stand up for fear of whacking myself off the desk and getting snared. totally exciting though. the idea of getting caught totally flipped me out for a while.

hangover boner: that boner you get when you've got a hangover that simply won't go away unless it's dealt with. dealing with it can ease the hangover.

normal boner: hot person messing with your tackle, it's bound to happen.

gig boner: this is a phenomenon i'm determined to get to the bottom of and document in some fashion. you basically get so into what you're doing on stage that it excites you. i've asked a few people about it but feedback has been inconsistent at best.

care to share your boners with me? i'll totally up for compiling all contributions and releasing it as some kind of free-sheet.

hee hee that's pretty funny, i've had the all day lady boner. very serious boner.

 

[Cormcolash]

the ramboner

where the sufferer staggers around blank eyed & slack jawed, wielding their, ahem, "weapon" in a threatening manner..

for example:

Haha, my favourite of the lot!

 

[billygannon]

I work with a fella who claimed that it was his dream to give a girl a bloody lip with his willy.

 

[plug]

I work with a fella who claimed that it was his dream to give a girl a bloody lip with his willy.

!!! damn, I don't know whether to larf or recoil in horror... ah feck it! HAHAHAHA!!!

 

[SadieOutlaw]

i'm not really sure what he means.
would he give her a whack with it or something?

 

[jane]

I work with a fella who claimed that it was his dream to give a girl a bloody lip with his willy.

Maybe what he meant was that he wanted to remove an injured set of northern labia from the head of a corpse or otherwise unmoving individual, place them atop his member, and present it to his lady,gently and chivalrously, with a bow and a, "Madam, for you," the lips cradled by his ding dong, as if on a velvet pillow with gold trim.

 

[SadieOutlaw]

yikes!!

 

[billygannon]

i'm not really sure what he means.
would he give her a whack with it or something?

Yep... that's pretty much it.
The same guy also said that he would immediately propose to a girl who would get him in a headlock while making love.

 

[avernus]

ah come on, one duff post. he did supply 'furious boner'... it's just like life, 99% of your work can be excellent, but you get nailed for the duff 1% all the time. people only remember the bad stuff, it makes them feel better about themselves.

also who made damien the boner critic?

I could have told you that horrid story by pm though.

 

[Bag'o'cans]

I work with a fella who claimed that it was his dream to give a girl a bloody lip with his willy.

affection in it's purest form.

 

[guy of the tiger]

The shopping boner

I don't know how I don't know why but it won't go away and it's not welcome.
mainly in dunnestores and or clothes shops

 

[Bag'o'cans]

The shopping boner

I don't know how I don't know why but it won't go away and it's not welcome.
mainly in dunnestores and or clothes shops

You're instrument's a chick

 

[guy of the tiger]

i think its on account of bored and mind-wandering rather than being excited.

If you ever see me suddenly tying my shoelaces in a shop don't approach me.
same for suddenly pretending to faint

You're instrument's a chick

 

[brianMy Remorse]

I work with a fella who claimed that it was his dream to give a girl a bloody lip with his willy.

haha pistol whipping.

 

[Unicron]

doctor boner: Im certain this'd be unfun. Its not happened to me, but I reckon with the right doctor anything could happen.

Do you mean when the doctor is checking out your gear and touching it? I honestly don't know what I'd rather have, a dude doctor and no chance of anything happening or a chick doctor and running the risk of popping a boner, it would just seem rude to me if a girl was touching my cock and it stayed flacid.

 

[pete]

Star Wars: Attack Of The Boners

it's the theme music, innit

 

[Ex-User (250)]

Do you mean when the doctor is checking out your gear and touching it? I honestly don't know what I'd rather have, a dude doctor and no chance of anything happening or a chick doctor and running the risk of popping a boner, it would just seem rude to me if a girl was touching my cock and it stayed flacid.

heh, i had to get a tetnis injection in my ass once. this hot nurse did it, she didn't come near my dick but i still got a boner anyway. she just smiled at me and i smiled back, shrugged me shoulders and left. total fonz episode. all those times in your life that you try to act cool and end up looking like a knob. this was one of the few time i was the fonz. thought i was cool for the entire day afterwards until i spilled guinness down my t-shirt later that night while trying to chat some hot girl up in the village.
did any of this actually happen? who knows...

 

[avernus]

hehe good yarn - true or nay.

 

[Buckrake]

my sex life is a haze

You wish!

Tobleroner-boner: When you can't get it up, due to drinking, bad circulation or stage fright, so you furtively put your semi-flaccid penis into the empty box of one of those big Toblerone bars and penetrate without informing your partner, hence avoiding any embarrassment. I always keep one under me bed, just in case.
The sweet-toothed poor man's viagra.