guys: anthology of boners (3 Viewers)

[avernus]

oh my god, this is possibly the funniest thing i've ever read. ever.

am I alone, though? It does happen to others?

 

[Bag'o'cans]

Ethics boner - Disturbing sex scene on TV, your brain knows it's morally wrong, but sure yer man hasn't a clue about morals.
Not now Boner - I'm trying to go to sleep

 

[Ex-User (250)]

am I alone, though? It does happen to others?

hee hee, if only i could remember. my sex life is a haze. this does remind me of another phenomenon known as 'angry bum sex' though...

 

[billygannon]

Surprise Sex

 

[avernus]

or the its been a while boner: even a rubbish kiss on the O.C. sets it off.

 

[Goff]

The only good boner is a dead boner.

Think about it.

PS - What's a boner?

 

[Ex-User (250)]

angry bum sex is what happens when she's been a bad girl. normally best kicked off when the dear is sleeping. surpise then ouch! 'see if she'll do that again in a hurry...

 

[Ex-User (250)]

The only good boner is a dead boner.

Think about it.

PS - What's a boner?

it's like an orgasm you don't want.

 

[avernus]

all bum sex at least looks angry. anytime...no wait Ive revealed enough.

 

[Ex-User (250)]

all bum sex at least looks angry. anytime...no wait Ive revealed enough.

oh come on, you're amongst friends... spill the dreams.

 

[avernus]

I would never be so odd, but a friend of mine told me the following:


when youre screwing a girl in the ass, have her crouched over - raise your arms in the air and start roaring like youre in a roman chariot race.

now. that was a little bit too much info for me, but like I said - all bum sex is at least angry looking.

 

[Ex-User (250)]

I would never be so odd, but a friend of mine told me the following:


when youre screwing a girl in the ass, have her crouched over - raise your arms in the air and start roaring like youre in a roman chariot race.

now. that was a little bit too much info for me, but like I said - all bum sex is at least angry looking.

this would also look angry if it was 'normal' sex though, wouldn't it? call me crazy...

 

[damien]

this thread is rapidly losing its vigour...

 

[Napalm]

this thread is rapidly losing its vigour...

like my john thomas

 

[Bag'o'cans]

One could say it's gone flacid.

 

[Ex-User (250)]

ah come on, one duff post. he did supply 'furious boner'... it's just like life, 99% of your work can be excellent, but you get nailed for the duff 1% all the time. people only remember the bad stuff, it makes them feel better about themselves. i give you the selfish boner. i think it's time to extend our understanding of the word boner to particular states of mind at this point.

the lacklustre boner "ah come on, it'll get hard once we get going."

 

[ITalkShite]

The 'Jayus!' Boner

When it's about four in the morning, and you're pretty drunk, sitting in the other room at the party, with the girl who you've been kind of flirting with all night, and you've finally started getting off with eachother, and everything's going nice and smooth, and then she suddenly undoes your fly, grabs your willy and gives you the most unexpected, most surprising, most uh... voracious blowjob you've ever had.

And your brain isn't quite believing that this is happening, and is going 'Jaysus!'

 

[damien]

worst yet.

 

[brianMy Remorse]

Surprise Sex

you mean rape?!

 

[ITalkShite]

worst yet.

Well, obviously I should've just said 'The moaner boner - when you've got a boner listening to Joe Duffy', or 'The owner boner - when you've got a boner with someone who owns a house' or 'The organ doner boner - blah blah blah killed in car crash blah blah kidneys blah blah nothing to do with actually having a boner blah'. Or the like. Sigh.