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I used to compose my own critical notices in my head.
"The crowd gasp at Cocker's masterful control of the bicycle,
skilfully avoiding the dog turd next to the corner shop."
Imagining a blue plaque
above the place I first ever touched a girl's chest,
but hold on,
you've got to wait for the best.
You see you should take me seriously.
Very seriously indeed.
Cause I've been sleeping with your wife for the past sixteen weeks,
smoking your cigarettes,
drinking your brandy,
messing up the bed that you chose together.
And in all that time I just wanted you to come home unexpectedly one afternoon,
and catch us at it in the front room.
You see I spy for a living,
and I specialise in revenge,
on taking the things I know will cause you pain.
I can't help it,
I was dragged up.
My favourite parks are car parks,
grass is something you smoke,
birds are something you shag.
Take your "Year in Provence"
and shove it up your arse.
Mark Eitzel said:Patriots Heart
if you want to see something patriotic there's a stripper
he don't that look that good but he's got an all american smile
that fills his underwear with all the lonely dollars
from all the lonely men who no one ever suffers
who wait around the bar and spend all their lonely hours
who’re already gone no ones running for cover
the farther the run away away the more you have to hide in the dark
white as a worm that crawls through the patriots heart
its so red white and blue the way he works the bar
selling his embraces like mr. president or a fallen star
and he doesn't care if you're worldly or wise
he's looking for men with sin in their eyes and
he always says the same thing: he says how are you doing baby
I'm your rod and your staff and for a tip you can touch me
and after a few tequilas he becomes something holy
and this crappy little bar with its sweating mirrors and mildewed ceiling
has more love than even natural selection
and dollar for dollar babe - its a better bargain
the more you pay the more it can break you all apart
dollars pour like ashes from the patriots heart
he knows that your good time will someday kill him
but the thought of getting old doesn't thrill him
he says give me all your money and don't tell me what you're thinking
I'm the past you wasted I'm the future you're obliterating
c’mon grandpa tell me what you're celebrating
that you're heart heart finally dried up
or that it finally stopped working and
how you make a dead man come is the undertakers art
make 'em shine like the alcohol that preserves the patriots heart
see him fade with the dawn and a pile of washington's
with his head in a spin - happy to pass out again
he would rather fade into the static than hear the violins
that whine like old lovers who whine that they loved him
he would rather laugh alone in the dark with the soft hands of heaven
because it leaves him alone with his new entertainment system
he does it for the money but he gives more than he’s given
he does it for the money but he gives more than he’s given
and its only when he’s naked he feels his heart
in the whorehouse desert of the patriots heart
we all want a patriots heart
Locked in mortal combat as the future shadows loom
The guardian of my spirit fights his way across the room
To where the sick majority infest the myths of doom
But the lanterns of children hold firm in full bloom
And we'll walk a long long way together.
Though we found ourselves that way
Long before we knew.
Ah, but you know the way its worked I feel that
when I fly its with your soul,
And when I cry....................
I ride inside the purple dawn collecting golden dew
That falls from citadels of dreams I shake while flying through
Creation's key seems just in reach, ah but then its overdue
But as darkness surrounds us I'm reaching for you.
And we'll walk a long long way together
Though we found ourselves that way
Long before we knew.
Ah, but you know the way its worked I feel that
when I fly its with your soul,
And when I cry....................
Far across the universe the goblins of the night
Sometimes corner sunrise and keep him out of sight
but wandering the crossing minds, hallucinating light
Is the dream that I have of you holding me tight.
And we'll walk a long long way together
Though we found ourselves that way
Long before we knew.
Ah, but you know the way its worked I feel that
when I fly its with your soul,
And when I cry....................its you.
I stick it deep inside,
Cos I'm loose
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