errrr....i've got this lump... (6 Viewers)

[billygannon]

I had a lump in my throat during Elton John's performance at Princess Diana's funeral.

 

[Lord Damian]

well it pretty much quadrupled in size overnight and i can't currently open my jaw more than a few cm's...hurts like a bastard...heading to the doctor this morning....also have a headache and fever and my vision is blurring occasionally....not good...

 

[Lord Damian]

kidding. it's half the size it was, seems to be going away. no pain.

although my last post ensures that i have something very bad coming.

 

[Anthony]

bah

 

[Lord Damian]

jesus damian, this sound like a reason to have a drink.

what ISN'T?

 

[kutter_krock]

show your doctor this thread

 

[La La]

if you find a lump, no matter where it is, your first instinct should be to go to the doctor

 

[Space]

I've a lump in my throat.

 

[cephalopod]

I've got a lump in my pants

 

[billygannon]

I've got a lump of sugar

 

[Lirah]

I've got a lump in my pants

Did you shit yourself?

 

[jane]

if you find a lump, no matter where it is, your first instinct should be to go to the doctor

This is true! I have two lumps on my chest and my doctor's always ringing me to come back in to have them checked. Sometimes even in the middle of the night. Says if they aren't checked all the time they could turn toxic and destroy the city.

Not taking any chances. He's the doctor, not me. At least I think he's a doctor. That's what it says on his shed.

 

[Lord Damian]

if you find a lump, no matter where it is, your first instinct should be to go to the doctor

see, that's the problem with the world today...everybody runs to the doctor when they find the tiniest thing out of the ordinary.

the lump is going away. if i had've gone to the doc i would've wasted both his time and mine.

 

[flashback]

It could also be a severely inflamed gland. Most cysts don't actually hurt.

Right.
Its an inflamed lymph node. Poking it will keep it inflamed too.
Chk your other glands, under your arms, and sort of at the top of your legs. If they are all up you have some systemic infection, and you should see a medic now.
If you dont, and that;s the only one, get it looked at if it doesn't go away in about 10 days, with you not poking it in the mean time.


.... and I am not really of the school of go to the medic for everything. The doctors here are obsessed with tests and blood work and giving you meds when you dont need any of it in fact.

 

[Lord Damian]

ps - i just had a can of tomato juice and a kit kat bar. i think i may be pregnant.

now THAT's a reasonable lump to take to the doctor!!!

 

[flashback]

see, that's the problem with the world today...everybody runs to the doctor when they find the tiniest thing out of the ordinary.

the lump is going away. if i had've gone to the doc i would've wasted both his time and mine.

Oh. should of read through. nice one. The doctor would have poked the shit out of it, and kept it inflamed too.

 

[cephalopod]

Did you shit yourself?

No its more like an engorged cucumber straining against taut denim in a vacuum chamber

 

[Lirah]

This is true! I have two lumps on my chest and my doctor's always ringing me to come back in to have them checked. Sometimes even in the middle of the night. Says if they aren't checked all the time they could turn toxic and destroy the city.

Not taking any chances. He's the doctor, not me. At least I think he's a doctor. That's what it says on his shed.

Hmm, I have those too, since I was about 13, but my doctor said not to worry about them... maybe I should change doctors.

No its more like an engorged cucumber straining against taut denim in a vacuum chamber

That sounds very unpleasant. You should probably go to the doctor and see about having it removed.

 

[jane]

Hmm, I have those too, since I was about 13, but my doctor said not to worry about them... maybe I should change doctors.

Yea, you should go to mine. His name is Dr Booby McFeelfeel. He's not in the phone book, though, too exclusive. If you myspace him a picture of yourself in the nip, he can pre-diagnose you and treat you right away. I also go to his specialist colleague Fingers McGee. His hands aren't cold like most doctors'.

 

[Lirah]

Yea, you should go to mine. His name is Dr Booby McFeelfeel. He's not in the phone book, though, too exclusive. If you myspace him a picture of yourself in the nip, he can pre-diagnose you and treat you right away. I also go to his specialist colleague Fingers McGee. His hands aren't cold like most doctors'.

Thanks for the recommendations Jane, what are their fees like?