internerd secks (1 Viewer)

[Hector Grey]

i rub me cock off it for ya.

phew.

that lefty is some guy...

 

[Hector Grey]

Guy is sitting in a bar, talking to a pretty woman.
She: "You look kinda sad."
He: "Yeah, my wife just left me. She said I was too kinky."
She: "Really! My husband just left me too! For the same reason!"
So obviously, they get sweet, and he gets invited back to her place.
She: "Just relax. I'm going to get into something less comfortable."
She goes into the bedroom and puts on leather split-crotch panties, thigh-high boots, leather bra with cutouts for the nipples, dog collar...
She hoists her whip and goes back into the livingroom. He's putting his coat on.
She: "Hey! I thought we were going to get kinky?" He: "We just did. I fucked your dog. I'm outa here..."

 

[Zeelander]

haha, you'd love maccas plonker in yer gob. haha.

me too.

Lefty Frizzell you drunken little loon.

Nice thread boys.

 

[plug]

ah, used to have a link to a whole page of that guy's chat room pisstakes but I lost it. hilarious shit. anyone got it?

 

[Lefty Frizzell]

which guy?

 

[hanley]

ah, used to have a link to a whole page of that guy's chat room pisstakes but I lost it. hilarious shit. anyone got it?

is that the same guy as bloodninja?

 

[plug]

that's it! original site seems to be down, could only find this:

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?
Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.
Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
MommyMelissa: is that it?
Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.
MommyMelissa: ...
Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
MommyMelissa: whatever.

chortle.

 

[plug]

http://www.adamchance.com/funny.htm

 

[hanley]

DirtyKate:I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
Bloodninja:You can't hurry good pizza.
Bloodninja:I'm on my way now though
**pause**
DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
Bloodninja:How did you know?
Bloodninja:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
Bloodninja:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
Bloodninja:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
Bloodninja:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....



what a hero