annoying flatmates (1 Viewer)

[Ferox13]

She found it in a shed in a place she moved into - it was already totally desiccated...

 

[nooleen]

did it not stink at all?
remember bringing home sheep skulls from wicklow or similar and they'd stink the place out til your mum threw them away or the dog ran off with them.

 

[Ferox13]

did it not stink at all?
remember bringing home sheep skulls from wicklow or similar and they'd stink the place out til your mum threw them away or the dog ran off with them.

No it was totally dryed out like a husk..A felline mummy so to speak.

 

[Con]

Holy fuck, that thing is terrifying. Reminds me of this hideous giant turtle head that was on the wall in the spare room in a mate of mines gaf. I was sleeping in there one night and had to take it off the wall and put it in the cupboard cos it was freaking me out.

 

[nooleen]

thats what i get for speed reading i guess.

*snicker*
cos you wouldn't want to be wasting time reading thumped, eh?

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

*snicker*
cos you wouldn't want to be wasting time reading thumped, eh?

i know no other way of reading.scan a sentence,pick out the major words and put it together from that.i should pay more attention.

 

[nooleen]

wow:

We met online, chatted for about two months and then got together for drinks. That date went really well: we spent three hours talking, laughing and discovering we both had similar interests. But he moved two weeks later because of his job. He returned after six months and asked me out again, but he then stood me up. A week later he called and apologized, saying his dad had finally passed (he’d told me about his dad being sick when we first met) and he’d driven to Virginia so I was happy to set up another date. But he stood me up again. This time he said his job sent him to Pittsburgh.
I was done with it. He called for two weeks straight and begged me for another shot. I told him, fine. You show up, and if I’m home, I’ll go out with you. He showed up the next day and we decided on a great Italian winery and restaurant. The meal went well even though he harassed the waiter, who thankfully, had a sense of humor.
During the meal, he ordered a bottle of Lafite, which he drank by himself, while I stuck to my two champagne cocktails. When the check came he stared at it for a few minutes then slipped his credit card into the jacket. It was declined. He then asked me to pay.
Mind you, Lafite is about 300 dollars a bottle. My dinner was 70 bucks. I offered to pay for my meal, and even his, but not for his wine. He apologized, and after all that, took the money out of his wallet and paid in cash.
On the ride home, he took a pill bottle out of his arm rest and asked me to give him one. It was Viagra and it was empty. He asked me if I took it. Next thing I knew, he was taking off his pants. I grabbed the wheel and yelled at him. He agreed to get off the highway and resumed driving the car – while jerking off. We ended up across town and he was lost. We eventually passed my church so I pointed it out. He pulled into the church lot and repeatedly asked me to “do him.”
That was it. I pulled out the pepper spray and said, “I have a high tolerance for weirdness, but you are freaking me out. Take me home NOW or I will push you out and take myself home.”
He was still jerking off while I said all this.
When we got to my building’s parking lot, I had to ask why he didn’t just take me home to begin with – he probably would have ended up lucky.
“I didn’t want to park here because I didn’t want my car to get stolen by some homeboy,” he said.
I should point out right now that I am Black and he was White. The parking lot was full of Mercedes’, Cadillacs and BMWs.
“No offense,” I said. “But I highly doubt anyone wants your FORD TAURUS.”
I finally got out of the car, but halfway across the parking lot I heard him calling my name. I turned around to look and he was out of the car trying to chase me, with his pants down. I ran inside, picked up the security phone and held it so he could see it through the glass doors.
A few days later, he sent two dozen red roses and a hand-written card:
my apologies for being a drunkin fool
but i think you’re hot and hope it’s cool.
i’ve never spent 400 bucks
on a chick i didn’t f***.
you’ve got huge tits i still wanna see
wanna make it up to me?
What a douche.

i watched Little Children earlier today and was unsurprisingly reminded of this. someone should send in a description of rorschach's date with the sad woman as if it really happened and see if it gets posted.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

so i had a couple of friends over from dublin for the pavement gig last night. it was amazing. anyway, there we were having a few cans in my gaff when the police start battering down my door. i open it and they produce a warrent with my flatmate's name on it. they came in and turned out his room and the kitchen and bathroom. they wouldn't tell me what the warrent was for then said "goodnight stephen. sorry to trouble you. have a good evening". now i can't get through to the fucker

 

[Lili Marlene]

fucking wow!

You must have some idea?

 

[ann post]

so i had a couple of friends over from dublin for the pavement gig last night. it was amazing. anyway, there we were having a few cans in my gaff when the police start battering down my door. i open it and they produce a warrent with my flatmate's name on it. they came in and turned out his room and the kitchen and bathroom. they wouldn't tell me what the warrent was for then said "goodnight stephen. sorry to trouble you. have a good evening". now i can't get through to the fucker

put his stuff on freecycle??

 

[David Kronenbourg]

fucking wow!

You must have some idea?

none. i mean i know he's a recreational drug user and a bit of a weirdo toward women but nothing that would warrent a warrent. i hope he hasn't killed anyone

 

[Cormcolash]

I love this thread

 

[nooleen]

at least you know now that it'd be fruitless to compromise your morals by having a sneaky poke around his room for a bit of smoke

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

at least you know now that it'd be fruitless to compromise your morals by having a sneaky poke around his room for a bit of smoke

your giving the cops too much credit i think,been on the receiving end of a couple of raids and they stuff they've missed boggles the mind...

 

[nooleen]

well in that case, at least now henpest can have a damn good rummage to see if there's any left hidden around without worrying about leaving things out of place

 

[David Kronenbourg]

well in that case, at least now henpest can have a damn good rummage to see if there's any left hidden around without worrying about leaving things out of place

done and done. all i found was a finger, two cock rings and what looks like my leaving cert maths paper.

 

[nooleen]

..........a finger?

 

[Kid Lovebeach]

so i had a couple of friends over from dublin for the pavement gig last night. it was amazing. anyway, there we were having a few cans in my gaff when the police start battering down my door. i open it and they produce a warrent with my flatmate's name on it. they came in and turned out his room and the kitchen and bathroom. they wouldn't tell me what the warrent was for then said "goodnight stephen. sorry to trouble you. have a good evening". now i can't get through to the fucker

The best bit was when Chris tried to get the cops to dance with him.

 

[Kid Lovebeach]

The best bit was when Chris tried to get the cops to dance with him.

Actually the best bit was when he thought they'd stolen his ipod.

 

[washingcattle]

The best bit of my most recent garda visit to my flat involved my flat mate repeatedly offering them bacon by holding up half cooked slabs of bacon on the end of a fork. The cops thought he was being a prick but he was just being friendly, the tension was unbareable. It was top notch always have a pile of this on hand for cop visits.