annoying flatmates (1 Viewer)

[nooleen]

she sounds like a one-girl party

 

[ann post]

i didnt know you could train to be gay.

 

[Juno]

Same kinda thing happened to a guy I know.
Couple of us were staying at his place, he headed to bed early with his girlfriend and the rest of us kept drinking downstairs. A while later we heard screaming and banging coming from upstairs so went to check it out.
Turned out he'd been woken up by his girlfriend giving him oral, then realised his girlfriend was still asleep beside him. It was one of the girls from the party. His room was so small that she'd to climb over his girlfriend to get to him.
When he realised what was happening and was pushing her off him, she kept saying could he not just imagine she was Alison (or whatever his g.fs name was, not too sure anymore).
We were all in the same class, so things were pretty awkward after that.

 

[dleacht]

i didnt know you could train to be gay.

ha ha ha

 

[nooleen]

we're all relatively lucky though, i'd say. things could be worse...much worse

http://myveryworstroommate.com/

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

"His most obnoxious friend also went through my closet to get my Halloween candy, but I forcefully told him to back off."

that one gave me a laugh.some nasty ones in there though.

 

[nooleen]

On Day 2, I came home and found my my cat covered in vegetable oil. I still have no idea why this hapened or what she was even trying to make, and frankly, I do not want to know.
Maybe it can’t get weirder than a cat covered in vegetable oil?
On Day 3, I woke up to discover my end table broken and the plant that was on it smashed on the ground. She left the house without cleaning it or telling anyone.
However, the next week she bought me a stuffed animal cat that she thought looked like my cat to make up for it. Then, after giving me probably the weirdest gift I’ve ever received, she took it back because she needed the money and had to return it.
I was left with a broken end table, a dead plant and a horrified cat.

i'd love to know what the deal was with the cat

 

[David Kronenbourg]

wagon brought a load of people back on a tuesday night this week. i went beserk

 

[Froog]

wow, this is gonna get me through work.

 

[nooleen]

continue to http://myveryworstdate.com when you're finished with roommates

 

[Froog]

continue to http://myveryworstdate.com when you're finished with roommates

wow:

We met online, chatted for about two months and then got together for drinks. That date went really well: we spent three hours talking, laughing and discovering we both had similar interests. But he moved two weeks later because of his job. He returned after six months and asked me out again, but he then stood me up. A week later he called and apologized, saying his dad had finally passed (he’d told me about his dad being sick when we first met) and he’d driven to Virginia so I was happy to set up another date. But he stood me up again. This time he said his job sent him to Pittsburgh.
I was done with it. He called for two weeks straight and begged me for another shot. I told him, fine. You show up, and if I’m home, I’ll go out with you. He showed up the next day and we decided on a great Italian winery and restaurant. The meal went well even though he harassed the waiter, who thankfully, had a sense of humor.
During the meal, he ordered a bottle of Lafite, which he drank by himself, while I stuck to my two champagne cocktails. When the check came he stared at it for a few minutes then slipped his credit card into the jacket. It was declined. He then asked me to pay.
Mind you, Lafite is about 300 dollars a bottle. My dinner was 70 bucks. I offered to pay for my meal, and even his, but not for his wine. He apologized, and after all that, took the money out of his wallet and paid in cash.
On the ride home, he took a pill bottle out of his arm rest and asked me to give him one. It was Viagra and it was empty. He asked me if I took it. Next thing I knew, he was taking off his pants. I grabbed the wheel and yelled at him. He agreed to get off the highway and resumed driving the car – while jerking off. We ended up across town and he was lost. We eventually passed my church so I pointed it out. He pulled into the church lot and repeatedly asked me to “do him.”
That was it. I pulled out the pepper spray and said, “I have a high tolerance for weirdness, but you are freaking me out. Take me home NOW or I will push you out and take myself home.”
He was still jerking off while I said all this.
When we got to my building’s parking lot, I had to ask why he didn’t just take me home to begin with – he probably would have ended up lucky.
“I didn’t want to park here because I didn’t want my car to get stolen by some homeboy,” he said.
I should point out right now that I am Black and he was White. The parking lot was full of Mercedes’, Cadillacs and BMWs.
“No offense,” I said. “But I highly doubt anyone wants your FORD TAURUS.”
I finally got out of the car, but halfway across the parking lot I heard him calling my name. I turned around to look and he was out of the car trying to chase me, with his pants down. I ran inside, picked up the security phone and held it so he could see it through the glass doors.
A few days later, he sent two dozen red roses and a hand-written card:
my apologies for being a drunkin fool
but i think you’re hot and hope it’s cool.
i’ve never spent 400 bucks
on a chick i didn’t f***.
you’ve got huge tits i still wanna see
wanna make it up to me?
What a douche.

 

[theoootini]

that guy is a hero!

 

[Yurn!]

'Can i shit with the door open? i'll close it for the wipe...'

 

[nooleen]

the roommates stories read a lot like 'He Died with a Felafel in his Hand' ('hilarious true stories of house-sharing hell'). great book.

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

i'd love to know what the deal was with the cat

i'd love for someone to give me a stuffed cat.

 

[nooleen]

oiled or dry?

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

oiled or dry?

good question...ill ponder that for a while

dry actually,i wouldnt feel comfortable stroking an oiled up carcass.dry is fine though.

 

[nooleen]

i think it was a toy stuffed cat that was being referred to...but whatever oils your wheels

 

[Ferox13]

good question...ill ponder that for a while

dry actually,i wouldnt feel comfortable stroking an oiled up carcass.dry is fine though.

A friend of mine used to have this on her wall..

 

[тхеодоре кацзынски]

i think it was a toy stuffed cat that was being referred to...but whatever oils your wheels

thats what i get for speed reading i guess.

A friend of mine used to have this on her wall..

oh nice,where did she get it?scraped off the road?