alcoholic madness stories (1 Viewer)

[GO]

after a night of drunken messing including finding a half bottle of vodka on the street..and drinking it..,after being ditched by shorty in favour of a giiirl, i was standing at the luas stop at 3am, was rescued by two tallaght heads, denise and sean. ended up at some mental party, the amount of cocaine was unreal as was the booze. i got home at 10am this morning. its not a great story, but im drunk and the kitchen was huge-

Respect.

 

[GO]

The hat was later used to steal a vibrating vagina from a sex shop that's at a petrol station somewhere in germany.

it can't get much better than this

 

[GO]

Haven't got too many quality stories, one good one from GGI last year.

We we're playing on the Sunday of GGI in Belfast so we decided we'd go down and head home the same night because I had work the next morning. We arrived in Belfast a few hours before anything was happening so we decided we'd get a bottle of Bucky each and started drinking in some little park near the Bunker. So it got time to play and there was fucking no one there except Coner and Thomas Freebooters coming in for a while. So we finished up and decided we'd just get legless, finished off the Bucky and had a few more cans/pints. It came time to leave so we headed down to get the bus with Thomas. We'd got settled on the bus when the bus driver finds a full bottle of Vodka, ask's who owns it... ended up with me and Dan destroying it. The next bit's pretty fuzzy.

The Aircoach arrives at Dublin Airport and we stumble off and head for the jaxx, according to Dan I went into the disabled one. Next thing I know I'm in the middle of a construction site around the Airport, doing some Metal Gear Solid shit, outta my mind. A security guard finds me and I try to leg it. I ran straight into a fence and fell over it. legged it across a busy road when your man finally catches me and drags me to the Airport Garda station or whatever it is. In the interview room with some Garda just trying to figure out what I was doing and shit, I just kept singing Minor Threat songs and telling him to fuck off. Eventually me ma arrived with Dan and Dylan. So I went home.

Woke up the next morning still wasted with me boss ringing me going nuts. Got dressed and legged it out to him. We were working in some site in Ringsendm, flooring a load of apartments, fell asleep for a while on a floor when I had to leg it to the jaxx to puke. There was a work bench in the way so I ended up punking all over the bath and walls.
Me boss didn't notice that for a while. Having me lunch I had to get sick into a plastic bag, nearly making me boss get sick aswell. Then got sick again in another apartment.
Surprised he didn't sack me.

And they say youth is wasted on the young....not in your case.

 

[subbuteo !]

Fuckin hell that Coitus one is legend!

Alright, here's another one.

and Adam came up with a plan to rob the place blind. His idea was to go and ask for directions from the staff, and insist on speaking really bad English so that they wouldn't understand him, while the rest of us surreptitiously filled our bags. So we went in, and it all went perfectly to plan -he asked them while we fuckin fleeced the place. They were massively helpful, falling over themselves to try and give directions.

did the exact same thing also in germany with cheapskate.but we brought a map in and spread it out fully and held it up to cover the workers view.

ill have to post a few of the other stories from that tour when i've time some classics.

 

[cesspooldublin]

did the exact same thing also in germany with cheapskate.but we brought a map in and spread it out fully and held it up to cover the workers view.

ill have to post a few of the other stories from that tour when i've time some classics.

Myself and Burkie were talking about this the other night. Me dealing with two armed German cops at 8am in my jocks while Willie tried to pass me a bag of mushrooms in front of them = comedy gold.

Was it this tour or the previous one you did your ankle in?

 

[Anarcho Munk]

Too tired to think of stories right now but on saturday night i stuck a dead goldfish in some ones toilet and a full bottle of washing up liquid in the cistern.

some ones gonna blow up in a flowing cacophony of willies, goldfish, bubbles and shite when they flush that motherfucker.


classic prank. Just as well they were a bunch of pricks.

 

[GO]

Too tired to think of stories right now but on saturday night i stuck a dead goldfish in some ones toilet and a full bottle of washing up liquid in the cistern.

some ones gonna blow up in a flowing cacophony of willies, goldfish, bubbles and shite when they flush that motherfucker.


classic prank. Just as well they were a bunch of pricks.

I'm laughing.

 

[damone]

on a slightly differant but related note,i ended up at a patrty in orwell in templeogue years and years ago, a complete snobby little prick was having a massive bash in his ma and da"s gaff,it started when these blokes knocked a sliding door of its rail in the kitchen,it falls ,it smashes ,the noise was deaffening,the music suddenly went ballistically loud and the entire crowd in the house and out the back garden started destroying and robbing everything in the house,out the back the plants are flying , the fountain s knocked and the garden lights which were very unusual for the time are flying over walls,inside the lights go first then the windows ,theres fellas comin out of the house in yer mans ma s dreesses and his da s suits,food flying ,glass everywhere, toilet smashed ,sink smashed,then after about 4 or 5 minutes about ten of us are left , i was sitten at the table in the kitchen when in come two of the neighbors with a golf club and a hurley and are looking for snobboy,they ask us where he is as if we ve done somethig to him ,it turned out he was running aroud the streets trying to get some of the loot that had been disgarded,plod came a minute or so later and said they had been there twice that nite and had been asked to leave by the son!,me and my mate got the fuck out as soon as the pathetic attempt at a clean up started.there was family pictures , clothes,toys ,records,cassettes ,all over the area ,it made some of the local papers!!!!!

 

[Anarcho Munk]

LEGENDDEADLYBUZZ!

 

[nooleen]

in the good old days of batty o'briens the only thing i remember about a certain night is sobering up momentarily after spewing red wine vomit down the front of my sad-faced young man and looking up and wondering why the sky was still blue. it turned out it was only about 7.30 at the time. i was apparently sent home in a taxi around 9 o clock after batty found me asleep on a pile of mattresses in the barn, and woke up the next morning wondering what had happened when my mum said 'you got home very early last night', 'er yeah i was a bit tired', it turned out they'd been so pissed themselves they hadn't even noticed the state i was in.

 

[cesspooldublin]

in the good old days of batty o'briens the only thing i remember about a certain night is sobering up momentarily after spewing red wine vomit down the front of my sad-faced young man and looking up and wondering why the sky was still blue. it turned out it was only about 7.30 at the time. i was apparently sent home in a taxi around 9 o clock after batty found me asleep on a pile of mattresses in the barn, and woke up the next morning wondering what had happened when my mum said 'you got home very early last night', 'er yeah i was a bit tired', it turned out they'd been so pissed themselves they hadn't even noticed the state i was in.

There was a period when the only time I saw you at gigs, you were either completely unable to speak, or actually asleep in the jacks or on a seat.

 

[nooleen]

with a lollipop stuck to my jumper - great days

 

[the strange guy]

I have no drunk stories that I wish to share on a public forum as it will probably force me to consider giving up drink for good.

 

[joshthefirst]

fairly recent one this, as im not an old fart like the rest of you southern fuckers.

Its Blackpool rebellion 2008, i buy a bag of funny white stuff off peter test tube, and another of other funny white stuff off a friends girlfriend, along with about 12 cans of carlsberg off the good lad at the offie.
now im ready to rock !
i smell all the white stuff all nyt and taste all the carlsberg too, everything was gone by about 11 or 12, and im running about asking every friendly face i see to ''feel my heart'' get the odd shocked face saying ''fack me mate, that feols a bit fast init'', didnt really bother me tho i found it quite amusing, the nights gig is over, its about 3am when i get back to my b&b , on my own cus my friend sloaner, who decided to disappear the day before had not showed up and i had grown tired of worrying about his disappearence. i sat in my bed, unable to sleep and growing more anxious about the speed of my heart, so to take my mind off it i go for a walk at 6am, in the freezing cold, and bump into dan bastard on the beach, hang out with them for 10 mins then go back and have a lash at sleeping again, doesnt work and im freakin out slightly about my heart, so i casually ring myself an ambulance saying i think im having a heart attack , even meet the fuckers outside the b&b , so now im in the ambulance getting myself checked out, and we're about to take off , 1 of the paramedics get out to go in the front, and i hear him tlaking to som1 who i believe has a belfast accent, ...in pops sloaner, who saw the paramedic and was requesting help himself, in he pops the back of the ambiulance, first time ive seen him in about 24 hours, firts thing i say is ''were the fuck hav eyou been'', the paramedics looking slightly gobsmacked , what a coindinicadence that was, so off to the hospital for a couple of hours, and THEN BACK TO GET MORE DRUNK ON THE LAST NYT OF REBELLION YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

[GO]

You called yourself an ambulance?!
You may now call yourself a steamer.

 

[Corm]

in the good old days of batty o'briens the only thing i remember about a certain night is sobering up momentarily after spewing red wine vomit down the front of my sad-faced young man and looking up and wondering why the sky was still blue. it turned out it was only about 7.30 at the time. i was apparently sent home in a taxi around 9 o clock after batty found me asleep on a pile of mattresses in the barn, and woke up the next morning wondering what had happened when my mum said 'you got home very early last night', 'er yeah i was a bit tired', it turned out they'd been so pissed themselves they hadn't even noticed the state i was in.

Reminds me of the time just before my leaving cert when you were making cookies and I put hash in them, then mum and dad went out and we ate them and got fucking monged, started hallucinating and shit. Then they came back much earlier than they said they would, while we were both laughing maniacally on the couch watching random telly programmes. Cue immense horror and attempted straightening of faces. After I'd been making the same cheese sandwich for about half an hour (I think I thought it would 'sober me up'?!) and dad had walked past about 10 times he eventually just looks at the sandwich, looks at me, and goes "are you alright?". so I told him I was just a bit tired and went to bed.

 

[Bastard Eoin]

I remember once after a gig in the Temple a load of us started a convoy back to Leinster Square. You know the sort, twenty odd pissheads tumbling in the one direction homeward bound. Anyway, some how on the walk back myself and Dee ended up reaching the gaff before everyone else. I was pretty surprised by this seeing as we were last in the convoy but again, you know how those walks home can be! So we hoped over the wall after no one answered the door and let ourselves in...the front door never really closed properly. Once inside I let a roar out to see if anyone was in. Went into the living room, saw no one. Went into Karens room threw my guitar, cap and records I was carrying for Levingo on the bed, still with no sign of anyone. So there we are wondering where the party's at when muggins here is hit with one of his evil genius plans...Professor Hooly can be a cruel man.

For those of you who were never in Leinster Square, there used to be a little closet off the living room that we used to hotbox all the time. Anyway, scheming away I decided to take all the electrical gear Playstation, stereo, TV etc. and hide them all in the closet. Fukkin hilarious I thought, I'll rob the gaff! So after everything some what expensive is in the closet, me and Dee high tail it out of the gaff only to notice Rob, Ella's broseph asleep in bed. He never woke up once during the whole "burglary"! When we get to the front door, Karen is on top of the wall and she's looking right at us so we dive into the catacombs and hide. Karen and a few others come down the stairs a bit freaked cause they just thought they saw some one leaving. Anyway, once they're inside me and Dee leg it! We're gone for a good 20mins until I get a phonecall off Levingo wondering where we are, saying something about some one breaking into the gaff. "What the fukk!?"... "We're close, see ya in a bit!"

We turned up to the gaff to see Nooly looking freaked, standing at the front door brandishing a kitchen knife. There were various different posse's buzzing about the place with hover bits ready to bash anyone with a TV. Tensions were high let me tell ya! Anyway, we get in and survey the damage. Everyones freaked and out for blood!!

Christ, it was hilarious but I could only last about five minutes before I showed them where all the stuff was...the place errupted!!

Bastard by name, bastard by nature!!

 

[nooleen]

are you sure that happened? i remember hearing about it....no-one told me i was there with a big knife before though

 

[D0njo]

What a heist! Heh, everyone hated youse for a couple of days.... and then...hhmmmm... seems it was very easy to forget about these kind of events in that house... not sure why...

Ah yes, Leinster Square.... *strokes beard*... eoin turned the kitchen into a sort of trick slidy floor with a gallon of cooking oil..... we tried to break the telly when we moved out, with a buckfast bottle, but it just wouldn't go.... Barry Lennon got sick on a cushion so he just turned it over.... i think it stayed that way... .........jesus

 

[the strange guy]

The Smithfield stories definitely beat the Leinster Square stories.
They could have been companion fly-on-the-wall rockumentaries!