alcoholic madness stories (1 Viewer)

[quaidox]

Older meanings of FTW

Years ago, "FTW" used to have a very negative meaning: "f**k the world". This was a term commonly used by social rebels, anarchists and anti-authoritarian types to express frustration with modern society. Gratefully, this antisocial meaning has dramatically faded in use in the 21st century, and people largely use "for the win" as the modern meaning for this acronym now.

 

[The septic]

Back growing up. Sitting in Taco Bell eating who knows what (lips and assholes mostly). We saw two guys walk into the liquor store. Two minutes later they came running out with a case of beer under each arm.

They didn't get very far. They were baseball players for the local high school team with their school logo on the front of their jerseys and their names on the back.

 

[damone]

around 1990 myself and wally once again were at a new years party in crumlin in a mate of my bro s flat,once again we ran outta drink , 2 bottles of vodka magicly are found, cue the fastest drinkin of vodka id ever seen,and we get fucked out of the party for bein far too boisterious, 3 am absolutely bollixed, unable to walk ,lets get a cab,dont remember how next thing i know im talkig to this geezer in a fairly shitty car saying how glaD I was we managed to get a cab,he was a lovely fella and we were having a good natter when we pulled upto where we were gettin out, i turned around from thefront seat to wally to ask him did he have any dosh cause i didnt and i see that he is on his hunkers in the back of the car ,the fuckin car had no back seat, i ask yer man how he worked with no back seat ,he tells me he isnt working and his car wasnt a taxi,he told us he was headin out to talla to a travellers site to see his family and had seen us on the side of the road in sundrive and felt sorry for us , he was nearly as bollixed as us aswell ,, we gave him a fiver and went home,
happy days

 

[quaidox]

ha ha fucking classic one there damo, don't remember you ever tellinhg me that one before.
isn't there a classic one about you putting your head through a celing at a 21st or something? spill the motherfuckin BEANS dude !!!

around 1990 myself and wally once again were at a new years party in crumlin in a mate of my bro s flat,once again we ran outta drink , 2 bottles of vodka magicly are found, cue the fastest drinkin of vodka id ever seen,and we get fucked out of the party for bein far too boisterious, 3 am absolutely bollixed, unable to walk ,lets get a cab,dont remember how next thing i know im talkig to this geezer in a fairly shitty car saying how glaD I was we managed to get a cab,he was a lovely fella and we were having a good natter when we pulled upto where we were gettin out, i turned around from thefront seat to wally to ask him did he have any dosh cause i didnt and i see that he is on his hunkers in the back of the car ,the fuckin car had no back seat, i ask yer man how he worked with no back seat ,he tells me he isnt working and his car wasnt a taxi,he told us he was headin out to talla to a travellers site to see his family and had seen us on the side of the road in sundrive and felt sorry for us , he was nearly as bollixed as us aswell ,, we gave him a fiver and went home,
happy days

 

[GO]

I went to the WITH FULL FORCE festival in Leipsig with Dempsey in 2002.We were with some German friends who were showing us a good time.We drove up to the gig in an open top car(it was in the middle of a north dublin sized Sunflower field) and upon hearing the DK's starting in with police truck as we approached,our driver said fuck it we're late and rammed through the fence straight into the gig.

I hopped outta the motor and legged it to the front-ish of the stage(I say front-ish cos the place was jammed with HUGE mongo east German metallers).Anyhoo,spazzed out to the Kennedy's(who rocked incidentally)and by the time Slayer came on I was on one.
Subsequently,I could'nt find the posse so sans ticket and money and all the rest just started robbing drink all over the shop.The gig on the main stage ended and I could'nt get into the other tented arena that was going late cos I'd no ticket and I was too gargled to make head nor tale of what was going on.Untill a friendly geezer showed me how to sneak in.Under the fence, it was behind a big long line of portaloos that ceased holding their contents long before.It was a quagmire of pissy pooh.I scrambled under the fence anyway and got completely drenched in pissy poohy muck.But it was worth it cos I got in to see Atari Teenage riot.

After the gig I woke up under a car.20 feet from me mates.
The next day,MDC were playing(with whom I was well aquainted and was quite excited about surprising them with my fucking mad out of it presence).So I went to where thay were playing early and got the show on the road.The band before them were the Distillers and I was'nt that interested so was hanging around at the back.I spotted some geezer snorting something and got me mooch on.He was only delighted to share his pershians so I did a massive line.My eyes rolleback a minute later and I need to shit.I ran of to the bog.Which was'nt the bog but the middle of the gig.Dropped me bags and done a manky one all over meself etc.Anyhoo,I was scooting along the grass on me hole like a dog with worms trying to clean meself up.When I look up and who is it.

The Mdc boys laughing,standing over me looking at me like they'ed seen a goofy spectre!They we'rnt surprised at the state of me.But the last time I'd seen two of them was our last practice as Rottweiler in New York getting ready for a gig that never happened because I fucked of home to Ireland without telling them.


Theres more....in the next installment.I have to go for a slash and a fag.

 

[GO]

Older meanings of FTW

Years ago, "FTW" used to have a very negative meaning: "f**k the world". This was a term commonly used by social rebels, anarchists and anti-authoritarian types to express frustration with modern society. Gratefully, this antisocial meaning has dramatically faded in use in the 21st century, and people largely use "for the win" as the modern meaning for this acronym now.

Yeah For the win!

 

[The septic]

I've told this one a few times over the years, but it's a classic,

We played a gig a few years back in Sligo. It was in that golden age when shrooms were perfectly legal. Jasper had a arranged a lift for Gaz and I to a rave at the field that would become the SAI fest. Our first clue should have been that said lift drove down the main street on the foottpath. Our second should have been that the seatbelts had all been cut out. Our third was that the driver was quite obviously mental. Once we got out of town, all hell broke loose. Our driver was pegging it. Really peggin it. She wasn't stopping for lights, pedestrians, etc. And she was playing gangster rap at full volume. We got a few miles out of town and gaz had had enough. 'Let me out' So she pulled over, but we were off our tits in the middle of nowhere. Miles out of town on a one lane road. We couldn't get out, it wasn't like we could call someone and ask them to pick us up. We hadn't a clue where we were. So I didn't budge and she tore off again. But now she was pissed, well she'd always been pissed, she was pissed off. "You think you're punk, you fucking wanker. You're not a punk you fuckin prick. You fucking asshole in your fucking suit. You think you're punk, you stupid cunt" It went on like this for ages. The car screaming down the road, the gangster rap, the abuse. Finally we stopped at her house so she could pick up more booze. At this point we found an Exploited cassette tape, which seemed to ease the tensions if not the speeds and the effects of our perfectly legal mushrooms. When we arrived at the rave, I jumped out of the car, over the gate and into the session, where it really kicked off. It all ended with Gaz singing trad songs with two farmers in their late 60's drinking 2 litres with their wooly jumpers tucked into their jeans tucked into their wellies.

 

[quaidox]

gary!!! that is possibly the best story i have EVER heard!!! .|..|.|..|

I went to the WITH FULL FORCE festival in Leipsig with Dempsey in 2002.We were with some German friends who were showing us a good time.We drove up to the gig in an open top car(it was in the middle of a north dublin sized Sunflower field) and upon hearing the DK's starting in with police truck as we approached,our driver said fuck it we're late and rammed through the fence straight into the gig.

I hopped outta the motor and legged it to the front-ish of the stage(I say front-ish cos the place was jammed with HUGE mongo east German metallers).Anyhoo,spazzed out to the Kennedy's(who rocked incidentally)and by the time Slayer came on I was on one.
Subsequently,I could'nt find the posse so sans ticket and money and all the rest just started robbing drink all over the shop.The gig on the main stage ended and I could'nt get into the other tented arena that was going late cos I'd no ticket and I was too gargled to make head nor tale of what was going on.Untill a friendly geezer showed me how to sneak in.Under the fence, it was behind a big long line of portaloos that ceased holding their contents long before.It was a quagmire of pissy pooh.I scrambled under the fence anyway and got completely drenched in pissy poohy muck.But it was worth it cos I got in to see Atari Teenage riot.

After the gig I woke up under a car.20 feet from me mates.
The next day,MDC were playing(with whom I was well aquainted and was quite excited about surprising them with my fucking mad out of it presence).So I went to where thay were playing early and got the show on the road.The band before them were the Distillers and I was'nt that interested so was hanging around at the back.I spotted some geezer snorting something and got me mooch on.He was only delighted to share his pershians so I did a massive line.My eyes rolleback a minute later and I need to shit.I ran of to the bog.Which was'nt the bog but the middle of the gig.Dropped me bags and done a manky one all over meself etc.Anyhoo,I was scooting along the grass on me hole like a dog with worms trying to clean meself up.When I look up and who is it.

The Mdc boys laughing,standing over me looking at me like they'ed seen a goofy spectre!They we'rnt surprised at the state of me.But the last time I'd seen two of them was our last practice as Rottweiler in New York getting ready for a gig that never happened because I fucked of home to Ireland without telling them.


Theres more....in the next installment.I have to go for a slash and a fag.

 

[The septic]

Gooowan HMD give us a story

 

[HMD]

Gooowan HMD give us a story

i don't remember any. i'm sure one will come to me when i'm trying to get to sleep.

 

[GO]

I'd say Bouli could spin a yarn or two if he could talk.

 

[HMD]

i'd say so. he has a good memory

 

[The septic]

Another great image is Gaz sieg heiling at the karaoke session at my wedding while my brother and father were singing YMCA

 

[GO]

Ah theres been a lot of gay nazi shit on here today.

 

[GO]

i'd say so. he has a good memory

Even after hitting the white russkies?

 

[Corm]

Older meanings of FTW

Years ago, "FTW" used to have a very negative meaning: "f**k the world". This was a term commonly used by social rebels, anarchists and anti-authoritarian types to express frustration with modern society. Gratefully, this antisocial meaning has dramatically faded in use in the 21st century, and people largely use "for the win" as the modern meaning for this acronym now.

What? For The Win? That explains a thing or two. I wondered why everyone kept exclaiming Fuck The World in weird contexts...

 

[quaidox]

hey daire, just seen dee's name in the credits for badly drawn roy that i just watched on youtube, tell her fair fucking play! roy is class! whoever came up with what he says right at the end is a comic genius! the lads have sold it to bbc and nickelodeon.

 

[Corm]

Anyhoo,I was scooting along the grass on me hole like a dog with worms trying to clean meself up.When I look up and who is it.

You fucking cunt, you just made me cough wine all over me good pants...jaysus. That's fuckin gas.

 

[Corm]

Oh bollix that one about the piss and the shit just reminded me of a classic night in Copenhagen. It was the day when Land of the Dead came out, I was mad to see it so myself and my mate Tobias went to see it and obviously were fairly disappointed. I was going to go home after, have a spliff or two and go to bed, but I was fairly restless and didn't feel like going home, so I called Ian. He was at a party, still sober, said it was boring but call over anyway.

Went there, had a beer, a smoke or two, had another, was still boring. We were both trying to get off with these girls from the school we were working at, they seemed into it but nothing happened, so we were bored as fuck. So we robbed a bottle of vodka from the fridge and left the party and went back to his apartment. Drank a bit, got bored, went out and robbed this stupid fancy pimp bike for the laugh, bought some hash and more beer, went back to his apartment. Drank, got bored, went down to Ungdomshuset where there was some shit reggae gig on, had a beer, went back to his, listened to music, got bored, went to the bar he sometimes worked at, had a few shots, got bored and went back to his apartment. All the time we were getting more drunk, more restless and more bored, so something had to happen.

Every time we left his apartment, we noticed that there was a party going on in an apartment on the top floor of the building two doors up from his place. As the night went on it got louder and madder sounding, but miraculously, we hadn't even thought of crashing it. So when we were coming back we decided, fuck it, let's go in there and see what's going on. First of all we went into his apartment and put on suit jackets (the ultimate disguise), and then went back, rang the buzzer and said we were friends with Sven, so some cunt let us in.

It was all these fuckin posh cunts looking down their noses at us, everyone real drunk but still being dry oul snobby cunts. It was going on over four apartments on the top two floors. Most people were at the lower floor, where there was a bar set up, so we went up to the top floor and there was one apartment totally cleared with a DJ in the kitchen and the living room as a dancefloor. There was one lad asleep on the couch and another mad drunk lad dancing on his own. We sat down on the couch and started doing a joint, then this lad came in and sat down. He was a real dick, arrogant Swedish business cunt, so we started giving him a load of abuse, antagonising him and asking him to come back and bum us. He ran off so I stood up on the coffee table and started doing a piss on the floor, I dunno why. Then we just started wrecking everything, kicking it all over and everything. No-one noticed cos they were all downstairs. I had a cabinet open and was just smashing all these plates on the floor, and I turned around and Ian was doing a fucking shit on the carpet. Fuck. So we ran downstairs, took a load of beers from the fridge, and then legged it all the way down and out of the building, smashing all the potted plants on the way. We went to his apartment and drank the beers.

Stupidly, we decided to go back to the party.

When we were going up we saw a girl going out of the bar they had set up and into a dark room holding a metal cash box -the takings from the bar. We decided it would be hllarious to rob the cash box, so we hid up the stairs until she went back out of the room. We went down and snuck in there. There was a lad asleep on the bed and a small fridge with the cash box on top. We looked in the fridge -2 bottles of vodka, 2 bottles of tequila! Grabbed everything and fucking legged it, smashing all the pots we missed the first time.

Next thing I remember is waking up in the morning in Ian's bed with us both naked except for our suit jackets and half empty bottles of vodka and tequila on the floor. I dunno what happened. The cash box was there, we'd forced it open but there was only some little coins in it. So fucking lucky -it was so obvious who'd robbed the fucking thing and he only lived two doors down from the party. If there'd been any real money in it we'd have been fucked...thanks be to jaysus we didn't get the fuck kicked out us.

 

[GO]

You fucking cunt, you just made me cough wine all over me good pants...jaysus. That's fuckin gas.

Glad to be of service!