alcoholic madness stories (2 Viewers)

[GO]

For fucks sake.Corms upping the ante.

 

[quaidox]

de-repped for taking it too far!!

Oh bollix that one about the piss and the shit just reminded me of a classic night in Copenhagen. It was the day when Land of the Dead came out, I was mad to see it so myself and my mate Tobias went to see it and obviously were fairly disappointed. I was going to go home after, have a spliff or two and go to bed, but I was fairly restless and didn't feel like going home, so I called Ian. He was at a party, still sober, said it was boring but call over anyway.

Went there, had a beer, a smoke or two, had another, was still boring. We were both trying to get off with these girls from the school we were working at, they seemed into it but nothing happened, so we were bored as fuck. So we robbed a bottle of vodka from the fridge and left the party and went back to his apartment. Drank a bit, got bored, went out and robbed this stupid fancy pimp bike for the laugh, bought some hash and more beer, went back to his apartment. Drank, got bored, went down to Ungdomshuset where there was some shit reggae gig on, had a beer, went back to his, listened to music, got bored, went to the bar he sometimes worked at, had a few shots, got bored and went back to his apartment. All the time we were getting more drunk, more restless and more bored, so something had to happen.

Every time we left his apartment, we noticed that there was a party going on in an apartment on the top floor of the building two doors up from his place. As the night went on it got louder and madder sounding, but miraculously, we hadn't even thought of crashing it. So when we were coming back we decided, fuck it, let's go in there and see what's going on. First of all we went into his apartment and put on suit jackets (the ultimate disguise), and then went back, rang the buzzer and said we were friends with Sven, so some cunt let us in.

It was all these fuckin posh cunts looking down their noses at us, everyone real drunk but still being dry oul snobby cunts. It was going on over four apartments on the top two floors. Most people were at the lower floor, where there was a bar set up, so we went up to the top floor and there was one apartment totally cleared with a DJ in the kitchen and the living room as a dancefloor. There was one lad asleep on the couch and another mad drunk lad dancing on his own. We sat down on the couch and started doing a joint, then this lad came in and sat down. He was a real dick, arrogant Swedish business cunt, so we started giving him a load of abuse, antagonising him and asking him to come back and bum us. He ran off so I stood up on the coffee table and started doing a piss on the floor, I dunno why. Then we just started wrecking everything, kicking it all over and everything. No-one noticed cos they were all downstairs. I had a cabinet open and was just smashing all these plates on the floor, and I turned around and Ian was doing a fucking shit on the carpet. Fuck. So we ran downstairs, took a load of beers from the fridge, and then legged it all the way down and out of the building, smashing all the potted plants on the way. We went to his apartment and drank the beers.

Stupidly, we decided to go back to the party.

When we were going up we saw a girl going out of the bar they had set up and into a dark room holding a metal cash box -the takings from the bar. We decided it would be hllarious to rob the cash box, so we hid up the stairs until she went back out of the room. We went down and snuck in there. There was a lad asleep on the bed and a small fridge with the cash box on top. We looked in the fridge -2 bottles of vodka, 2 bottles of tequila! Grabbed everything and fucking legged it, smashing all the pots we missed the first time.

Next thing I remember is waking up in the morning in Ian's bed with us both naked except for our suit jackets and half empty bottles of vodka and tequila on the floor. I dunno what happened. The cash box was there, we'd forced it open but there was only some little coins in it. So fucking lucky -it was so obvious who'd robbed the fucking thing and he only lived two doors down from the party. If there'd been any real money in it we'd have been fucked...thanks be to jaysus we didn't get the fuck kicked out us.

 

[damone]

ahhhh for fucks sake its not THAT bad ,its bad but not that bad , i know there is worse out there!

 

[Corm]

I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg as far as drunken stories relating to me & Ian...I haven't even played the group sex and gay sauna cards yet!

 

[GO]

Theres defo worse out there but thats 6am in person around the kitchen table stuff.

 

[damone]

I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg as far as drunken stories relating to me & Ian...I haven't even played the group sex and gay sauna cards yet!

tip of the fuckin iceberg ,let rip young sir,cmon its only the old bastards who dont go out on a saturday nite on here

 

[GO]

Yeahman.Lets be having it!

 

[damone]

stayin in is the new goin out!!!

 

[damone]

alcoholism is the new straight edge !

 

[Corm]

I'm scared now. That last one was allegedly taking it too far. If I keep going I'll have someone moralising at me and it'll get boring. The rest is on a need-to-know basis. Personal interaction, with refreshments, would be a far more suitable form. Actually, I made that last one up, it's not true at all. Okay?

 

[therealjohnny]

I was just thinking a link to this thread will appear on some straight edge site and they'll all be going "see? see?"

 

[OLP]

Haven't got too many quality stories, one good one from GGI last year.

We we're playing on the Sunday of GGI in Belfast so we decided we'd go down and head home the same night because I had work the next morning. We arrived in Belfast a few hours before anything was happening so we decided we'd get a bottle of Bucky each and started drinking in some little park near the Bunker. So it got time to play and there was fucking no one there except Coner and Thomas Freebooters coming in for a while. So we finished up and decided we'd just get legless, finished off the Bucky and had a few more cans/pints. It came time to leave so we headed down to get the bus with Thomas. We'd got settled on the bus when the bus driver finds a full bottle of Vodka, ask's who owns it... ended up with me and Dan destroying it. The next bit's pretty fuzzy.

The Aircoach arrives at Dublin Airport and we stumble off and head for the jaxx, according to Dan I went into the disabled one. Next thing I know I'm in the middle of a construction site around the Airport, doing some Metal Gear Solid shit, outta my mind. A security guard finds me and I try to leg it. I ran straight into a fence and fell over it. legged it across a busy road when your man finally catches me and drags me to the Airport Garda station or whatever it is. In the interview room with some Garda just trying to figure out what I was doing and shit, I just kept singing Minor Threat songs and telling him to fuck off. Eventually me ma arrived with Dan and Dylan. So I went home.

Woke up the next morning still wasted with me boss ringing me going nuts. Got dressed and legged it out to him. We were working in some site in Ringsendm, flooring a load of apartments, fell asleep for a while on a floor when I had to leg it to the jaxx to puke. There was a work bench in the way so I ended up punking all over the bath and walls.
Me boss didn't notice that for a while. Having me lunch I had to get sick into a plastic bag, nearly making me boss get sick aswell. Then got sick again in another apartment.
Surprised he didn't sack me.

 

[shin shan]

oh my

 

[holly_rackis]

after a night of drunken messing including finding a half bottle of vodka on the street..and drinking it..,after being ditched by shorty in favour of a giiirl, i was standing at the luas stop at 3am, was rescued by two tallaght heads, denise and sean. ended up at some mental party, the amount of cocaine was unreal as was the booze. i got home at 10am this morning. its not a great story, but im drunk and the kitchen was huge-

 

[pete]

i had 4 pints last night and had a really bad hangover this morning.

 

[Corm]

Chris: that is purely inspirational. Amazing.

 

[Corm]

i had 4 pints last night and had a really bad hangover this morning.

Hang up the drinkin boots Pete. You're now bone fide "Da" material.

 

[Stephen]

coming back from zoro a few years ago with nicky and a few heads in a van with chris black.
It's nicky's birthday so, not that he needs much encouragement, he goes on a mad one. We stop off pretty early at some adli or shite to buy some food, but nicky's already well on the way.
Anyway nicky finds this train drivers hat, you know the one with the strips and is about a foot tall and is messing about in it, anyway we wander around awhile longer and nicky finds the booze. So I see him pick up a bottle of vodka and fake Jagermeister and stick them in his pockets, he then drunkly wanders down the shop where the only way to get out without going past the people working there is through where the trolleys come in so he just limbos under the trolley gate and out the door. When he gets back to the van he realises he still has the hat on.
The hat was later used to steal a vibrating vagina from a sex shop that's at a petrol station somewhere in germany. But that's another story....

 

[Corm]

Oh no...that reminds me of another Zoro Fest story involving loads of speed, no sleep, a bag of human shit and sex with a hot girl, who then got pregnant, who Ian then happily spread rumours about that I was the father...untruely...but it's a long story and I'm procrastinating like a fucking BASTARD already.

 

[damone]

i enjoyed the 2 flagons of linden ,two tyskies and 5 bottles of corona last nite and it now feels like somebody took a blowtorch to my hoop while i was sleeping,as for the edgers johnny their probably looking at these posts saying " we re missin out on all this craic, what are we doing with our lives"!