jane
Well-Known Member
Given that I love to bake, and yet am now faced with the terrible reality of an intolerance to wheat that is just getting WORSE, I've started experimenting with wheat-free baking.
I hate those shitty fake baked goods that taste like sawdust because they are made of sawdust, and I fucking hate fake food and it can kiss my ass. So I'm going to become superduperwheatfreebakerlady because I just can't live without baked goodness. I'm using Tritamyl flour at the moment, but it actually has wheat starch in it, so I'm going to try new kinds once I figure out how to substitute stuff without losing moistness.
I did some cookies last week that came out okay, but the ones I made yesterday are actually pretty awesome, which I adapted a bit so that they are tastier, and then substituted the regular flour for the wheat-free If you can eat wheat, I recommend using the proper flour, so they come out all gooey and stuff. But even if you choose to make them nice and Jane-friendly, they still come out nice because they have all sorts of tasty things inside them.
Now I want to give you the recipe, and you will eat these and probably die from them because they are so FUCKING GOOD. I use American measurements because I am crazy like that. You can find conversions online, or get some US measuring cups and spoons in your local kitchen goodies place (Stock has some, I know, and they also have excellent baking sheets that won't burn the bottoms of the cookies).
Homemade crack cocaine cookies, or Peanut Butter Chocolate Covered Peanut Oatmeal Holy Shits
3/4 cup butter
1/2 cup peanut butter (I use the smooth, natural kind, with no sugar added)
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda (I guess you freaks call this 'bread soda' or 'bicarbonate of soda')
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/4 cups flour (white or tritamyl)
2 cups rolled oats (just oats, like)
1 1/2 cups chocolate covered peanuts
Preheat oven to 180. Put ungreased non-stick baking trays into freezer while you're making these babies. The colder all this shit is when you put it into the oven, the better off you are -- the bottoms won't burn, they will stay gooey because they won't spread as much, etc etc.
Beat butter and peanut butter (I soften the butter in the microwave so that it is easily mushed, but if you have an electric mixer, you won't need to do this) for a while, until fully blended. Add both sugars, baking powder, and baking soda. I mix after each ingredient. The last thing you want is to find a big fucking chunk of baking soda in one of the cookies.
Beat in the flour, then stir in the rolled oats and the peanuts. You can chuck in some extra stuff, like peanut butter chips (can you even get these here?) Reese's pieces, chocolate chips, crack cocaine, crystal meth, etc.
Make little balls, about the size of a rounded teaspoon, a few inches apart (I do nine on each tray, but you can probably get away with 12) on the cold baking tray. Stick the tray, with the doughballs, back into the freezer. If for some reason, you have one of those shitty under-counter fridges with the icebox, you can make the little balls and put them on a plate that fits in the motherfucking shit excuse for a 'freezer'. Either way, 10-15 minutes in there should leave them nice and firm. Or, if you prefer to put them in the fridge, do that, but leave them in for a good hour or so.
Bake at 180 for about 10 minutes, or until they're a little bit brown around the edges. When you take them out, they should still be squishy (don't poke at them too hard, or they'll fall apart). A few minutes out of the oven should firm them up a bit, while leaving them nice and chewy.
Oh fuck, now I need another cookie.
I hate those shitty fake baked goods that taste like sawdust because they are made of sawdust, and I fucking hate fake food and it can kiss my ass. So I'm going to become superduperwheatfreebakerlady because I just can't live without baked goodness. I'm using Tritamyl flour at the moment, but it actually has wheat starch in it, so I'm going to try new kinds once I figure out how to substitute stuff without losing moistness.
I did some cookies last week that came out okay, but the ones I made yesterday are actually pretty awesome, which I adapted a bit so that they are tastier, and then substituted the regular flour for the wheat-free If you can eat wheat, I recommend using the proper flour, so they come out all gooey and stuff. But even if you choose to make them nice and Jane-friendly, they still come out nice because they have all sorts of tasty things inside them.
Now I want to give you the recipe, and you will eat these and probably die from them because they are so FUCKING GOOD. I use American measurements because I am crazy like that. You can find conversions online, or get some US measuring cups and spoons in your local kitchen goodies place (Stock has some, I know, and they also have excellent baking sheets that won't burn the bottoms of the cookies).
Homemade crack cocaine cookies, or Peanut Butter Chocolate Covered Peanut Oatmeal Holy Shits
3/4 cup butter
1/2 cup peanut butter (I use the smooth, natural kind, with no sugar added)
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda (I guess you freaks call this 'bread soda' or 'bicarbonate of soda')
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 1/4 cups flour (white or tritamyl)
2 cups rolled oats (just oats, like)
1 1/2 cups chocolate covered peanuts
Preheat oven to 180. Put ungreased non-stick baking trays into freezer while you're making these babies. The colder all this shit is when you put it into the oven, the better off you are -- the bottoms won't burn, they will stay gooey because they won't spread as much, etc etc.
Beat butter and peanut butter (I soften the butter in the microwave so that it is easily mushed, but if you have an electric mixer, you won't need to do this) for a while, until fully blended. Add both sugars, baking powder, and baking soda. I mix after each ingredient. The last thing you want is to find a big fucking chunk of baking soda in one of the cookies.
Beat in the flour, then stir in the rolled oats and the peanuts. You can chuck in some extra stuff, like peanut butter chips (can you even get these here?) Reese's pieces, chocolate chips, crack cocaine, crystal meth, etc.
Make little balls, about the size of a rounded teaspoon, a few inches apart (I do nine on each tray, but you can probably get away with 12) on the cold baking tray. Stick the tray, with the doughballs, back into the freezer. If for some reason, you have one of those shitty under-counter fridges with the icebox, you can make the little balls and put them on a plate that fits in the motherfucking shit excuse for a 'freezer'. Either way, 10-15 minutes in there should leave them nice and firm. Or, if you prefer to put them in the fridge, do that, but leave them in for a good hour or so.
Bake at 180 for about 10 minutes, or until they're a little bit brown around the edges. When you take them out, they should still be squishy (don't poke at them too hard, or they'll fall apart). A few minutes out of the oven should firm them up a bit, while leaving them nice and chewy.
Oh fuck, now I need another cookie.
