Meeting People / Aspergers (15 Viewers)

[adampg44]

Imagine being in a band with him

shudder

Imagine being in technical, blackened death metal band with some NWOBHM influences band.

with him

 

[Doctor Muscles]

Imagine yourself on a beach.
Imagine the gentle wish-wash motion of the sea upon the shore
The sun is shining, you're feeling contemplative.
You see a man in the distance and, although you cannot make out his features, there is a certain familiarity to him, you have met him before.
As you draw near to each other the recognition only grows stronger until, face to face, you take in his wide eyes, benign smile and drink in the warmth he exudes.
You feel yourself grinning involuntarily and drawing the man into a friendly embrace.
His arms around you, you feel secure in a way you haven't since the womb.
You are complete. You are happy.
The man is Jesus.

 

[Lili Marlene]

there's this guy I know who has aspergers. He says anyone who doesn't have aspergers or autism or some other similar form of 'disability' is suffering from 'hyper-normality' and probably should go to a doctor.

 

[egg_]

Is being able to shoot laser out of your eyes a disability?

 

[chutneyfarmer]

thing is tho chutney, we're not experts on anything, and the temptation to revert to lols on an internet forum is just too great, especially when someone is being incredibly rude to everyone.

i do feel for the guy, but it's hard to be understanding when someone's being a prick.

There's a thin line between LOLZ and bulying. This thread has crossed that line IMHO. This dude isn't Salsa or anything. He has a genuine condition that can be very hard for someone without the same condition to understand. I'm no expert on it or anything, I just have a conscience and a bit more compassion. Apparently.

 

[Green Goblin]

You know, I actually have taken steps towards "improving myself". I'm taking a full time course for people with difficulties like mine to get back to work/social skills. I've contacted the Aspergers society down here in Cork, but they haven't gotten back to me yet. I've gone out, I've gone to gigs. Like I pointed out, I have my own limitations. I do not use my disability as an excuse, this is just a pathetic excuse in of itself used by people who don't want to undrestand, but still want to take a moral highground. The thing is I don't pretend it isn't there, either.

Everyone has their own problems, as someone pointed out, but that means everyone has their own weaknesses too. Are other people really putting the same level of effort in as I am to overcome their weaknesses? Probably not, so you don't have a right to bitch about how little I'm trying to "change myself". And I still have a right to hold that the attitude of other people, society in general, is at a greater fault.

So that doesn't change the fact that I think the reaction in this thread is wrong. I'm probably at fault in that I don't know how to describe it, but not all aspergers people have bellow average empathy - some people have above average, and due to their extraordinary focus pick up on things other people don't bother to. There's a lot of things we implictly ignore to get on as human beings, that I am perhaps unable to. Of course, the internet can mess with that, and picking it up from one person can make it hard not to pick up from others, but I really don't think I'm far off.

With most people here, while some have some degree of conscience, in general I don't get a very genuine vibe at all.

Just because someone sets out to give advice, does not mean they are automatically genuine. I used to see this all the time on various art related forums, people were given a divine right to criticise and you could tell they were getting a kick out of tearing into other people's work, in a "helpful" guise. What's happening here is less malicious, but still wrong - people are trying to push their "life lessons" on someone else instead of looking at that person's difficulties from all angles.

People continue to push in the same points long after I pointed out, repeatedly, they drive me up the wall. This is why I do not believe the "advice" is genuine. Not only are you pushing the advice on me, you're trying to push the fact that I'm a poor person for not taking it. This is taking it to the level of religious zealotry.

This is one thing I cannot understand, but I just attribute it to those people being poorer and less sympathetic human beings than they consider themselves.

I didn't even mention my aspergers for ages. If you're not going to take some time to consider how different things can be, then I'm going to have to drill the point in. And I'm tried of people forcing their opinion that "Music/common interests aren't important". Maybe not to you, but they are to me.

OOI I almost never fly off the handle in real life because generally, I don't get this degree of lack of understanding in real life, that sense of arrogance. The internet unfortunately provides people with a pedastel for being wise men and they don't have to feel the repercussions if their wisdom is bunk, I can't put emotional or rational pressure on people like in real life.

I don't think me calling anyone a "twat" has really hurt anyone this thread. Made them feel a bit "miffed" that their advice was thrown back in their face, but that's something people need to learn to accept, if your advice isn't thought through specifically for that person, you have to be prepared for a negative response.

On the other hand I genuinely got very upset over the content o this thread. The reason I insist the problem is often with "Other people's" social skills is because I'm not the one lacking empathy - if I felt for a second I was genuinely upsetting someone, then I'd stop. If you're that affected by someone throwing advice back in your face - you need to reconsider yourself, too.

But of course, some jackass will just reference that down the line and ridicule it as if it can't POSSIBLY be true. This attitude is why this cannot be a mature discussion.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

There's a thin line between LOLZ and bulying. This thread has crossed that line IMHO. This dude isn't Salsa or anything. He has a genuine condition that can be very hard for someone without the same condition to understand. I'm no expert on it or anything, I just have a conscience and a bit more compassion. Apparently.

Yeah, I agree.

 

[Froog]

sorry if i was a prick GG, just try to be a little less rude when you don't get the right advice. that is all.

 

[broken arm]

I'm taking a full time course for people with difficulties like mine to get back to work/social skills.

this is cool. keep it up. If you build some confidence keep in mind the suggestions of clubs etc. as a way of meeting other people.

not wanting to defend any of the bullying going on but I think you come across very articulate and over the internet it's hard for people to connect with you properly, as you are.

 

[Green Goblin]

I'll try, but I can't promise not to if the same thing is going to happen. You can't insist the very thing that's annoying that person continually. Other people might not react as strongly, but that's worse since you could be hurting them and not care to know(happens all the time with autism).

 

[broken arm]

I'll try, but I can't promise not to if the same thing is going to happen. You can't insist the very thing that's annoying that person continually. Other people might not react as strongly, but that's worse since you could be hurting them and not care to know(happens all the time with autism).

do you have a fear of hurting people because of your own sense of a lack of empathy?

this, to me, explains your need to connect with people on similar lines/interestes/issues. It narrows the risk (at least the perceived risk you have of).

am I out of line suggesting that?

best of luck with the course anyway.

 

[Jill Hives]

Everyone has their own problems, as someone pointed out, but that means everyone has their own weaknesses too. Are other people really putting the same level of effort in as I am to overcome their weaknesses?

I can't speak for everyone but I know I am.

 

[Green Goblin]

do you have a fear of hurting people because of your own sense of a lack of empathy?

this, to me, explains your need to connect with people on similar lines/interestes/issues. It narrows the risk (at least the perceived risk you have of).

am I out of line suggesting that?

best of luck with the course anyway.

I have a pretty good sense of empathy, better than most people, people have said it. What I don't have much of are social skills past that one ability.

 

[snakybus]

Hope it all goes well for you, GG. I'm sure you'll meet someone eventually.

 

[Pedronimus]

I'm offering here and now to pay for it.

I was only messing when I said that.

 

[crucio]

I have Aspergers too, though I've managed to...well not overcome it because it's Aspergers, but I've managed to adapt myself, I suppose. It's bloody awful at first to try to throw yourself out there, and when I do I honestly feel like a right phoney but you know It's relaively worth it... most of the time.

I find it hard to meet guys too actually. I'm too flightly to stick to one person for long and too shy to properly approach the ones I do like... but anyway, persevere my dear, it usually works out ok in the end.

 

[shower another shower]

I have Aspergers too, though I've managed to...well not overcome it because it's Aspergers, but I've managed to adapt myself, I suppose. It's bloody awful at first to try to throw yourself out there, and when I do I honestly feel like a right phoney but you know It's relaively worth it... most of the time.

I find it hard to meet guys too actually. I'm too flightly to stick to one person for long and too shy to properly approach the ones I do like... but anyway, persevere my dear, it usually works out ok in the end.

Do you like Dead Can Dance?

 

[crucio]

I'm not averse to them when I'm feeling lightheaded.

 

[Anthony]

I skipped to the last page, how did this work out?

 

[shower another shower]

I skipped to the last page, how did this work out?

Green Goblin isn't the only one that digs Dead Can Dance.