oh shit
Well-Known Member
know what cheers me up, losers?
etta baker
she reminds me of the granny i never had
etta baker
she reminds me of the granny i never had
Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
I wish someone would shit on me.
Oh I know, and I got a great laugh out of all of them. I was just commenting on the fact that everyone assumes I am sad when I am not. Common theme, so it is. I wasn't complaining as such, just pointing out a reoccurring, "Smile, it's not that bad...." approach. I am going to practice smiling all day today. I think it will freak people out.
have you got a sour poker face? that might be it.
Steet the conversation towards Sunderland's possible transfer targets maybe. Taxi drivers like that.
here's a good one
"hello, XXXXXX please"
"MWAH MWAH"
"thank you... so, there's seems to be a lot of taxis out tonight"
"MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!!"
then sit back and disengage your brain as 20 - 30 minutes of mindless, self pitying, racial, anti-goverenment, hot-air billows around you, lulling you into a sleep peaceful haze, all ready for you bed
no that's me censoring the fact that I live where I live
despite the fact that several google maps were made of my route from work to my house and posted on a cycling thread a few months ago... stalkers, take note
no that's me censoring the fact that I live where I live
here's a good one
"hello, XXXXXX please"
"MWAH MWAH"
"thank you... so, there's seems to be a lot of taxis out tonight"
"MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!!"
then sit back and disengage your brain as 20 - 30 minutes of mindless, self pitying, racial, anti-goverenment, hot-air billows around you, lulling you into a sleep peaceful haze, all ready for you bed
"MWAH" is the universally accepted spelling for the sound of an air kiss
I was going to ask you who are these camp bigots and what taxi firm they work for
Anyone else have strange interactions with strangers lately?
Ya know how some people just have the same face on them no matter their mood. Kenau Reeves always looks confused. The silly guy from Prison Break always looks like he's concentrating too hard. Tom Cruise always looks crazy. Bass players always have their tongue between their bottom teeth and lip and do that neck turtle bob thing. You get the drift. I must always look dreadfully sad despite being in the greatest mood. All week I have been flying high.
Friday I was on my way home from the cinema. I went to go see Happy-go-lucky alone, apropos in retrospect. I decided to take the Luas the few stops home rather than walk through the drunkards. So I am standing there and three of the ticket takers are hanging out across from me talking. One turns to me:
Ticket guy: Smile, it's not so bad.
Me: Oh, I'm grand just a bit tired.
Ticket guy: Just off work?
Me: Nah, just left the cinema.
Ticket guy: Alone?
Me: Yeah.
Ticket Guy: You got no friends?
Me: A couple
Ticket Guy: Only a couple, don't you socialize?
Me: I try.
Ticket guy: Try harder girl, that's just depressing.
Me: One shouldn't be talking during a movie anyway, what's wrong with going alone?
Ticket guy: I'll give you my number, sad girl. Next time I take you to the movies. [then he starts pointing out night clubs I should check out]
Me: Thanks, but I'm not a night club kind of girl. [exits train]
Taxi driver (in his sixties) today (I never sit in the front of taxis but the back door was blocked by a pole. NEVER AGAIN)
Taxi: Where are you from?
Me: Upstate New York...near the Canadian border.
Taxi: How long you here?
Me: Two years.
Taxi: Well that's enough time, how you finding it?
Me: It's grand.
Taxi: You don't show it on your face.
Me: Oh no, I love it here. I don't miss the US, I just miss some of the people.
Taxi: but the US is wonderful.....
Me: So is Ireland.
Taxi: My daughter went traveling all over the US. Sowing her wild oats, so she was. The stories I heard....weeks with electricity and living on rice. Loved it though.
Me: Well, the time to do that is when you're young and carefree.
Taxi: True. Many get married too young these days. Everyone needs to get out there and experience life.
Me: Agreed.
Taxi: I'm married 37 years but we're just friends now. The wife wants the daughter to settle down but why not have fun, ya know?
Me: Well, I wish my mom had your attitude.
Taxi: She gives you a hard time, does she?
Me: Well, I think it would ease her mind to know I had a man in my life.
Taxi: I'm Marty [shakes my hand while driving]
Me: Nice to meet you Marty, I'm Jane.
Taxi: What do you like to do for fun?
Me: I love live music.
Taxi: Me too, a lot of outdoor sessions coming up. Dance hall nights in Kildare on Thursdays (rambled on for like 10 minutes)....Well Jane, I know I'm a bit older but I'd love to take you there on my arm. You'd be snatched up in seconds! I's so you off and make you smile.
Me: [awkward smile while actually picturing going to some dance hall night with old men in their 60's... and I chucked].
Taxi: Seriously, I'd love to take you. You're a lovely girl. Just lovely.
Me: umm thanks. [Meanwhile we have been stopped in front of my place for five minutes with me trying to give him money]
Me: Keep the change. [As I open up the door...]
Taxi: Ah sure, you gotta go, I understand.
Me: Thanks. Nice to meet you, Marty.
Taxi: A pleasure, Jane. You should smile more. [wink]
Earlier looking at a flat:
Guy: So what do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a librarian.
Guy: So it is just you and some books, yeah?
Me: Something like that...well I don't have much here (meaning belongings) being from the US and all.
Guy: Wow, that's depressing. At least you'd be quiet.
Me: Don't you know...we are so busy shushing all day that when we librarians get out of work we get all rowdy and loud.
Guy: [confused/scared look] Really?
Me: No....I was joking. I'm quiet.
Guy: Well, it looks like getting rowdy would do some good.
Just really weird conversations. I need one of those signs like in toilets that say vacant or occupied but instead "sad" or "really, I'm fine." Or maybe I just need to put Vaseline on my teeth, ffs.
Seriously though, I get the old 'cheer up, the world's not gonna end' shit all the time. My face at rest looks sad it seems. Even when I am happy inside.
i get accused of staring very intensely at people when i didn't actually see them at all. that's dark eyes for you i spose.I get that a lot too. Even worse, I get accused of giving people "dirty looks" when in fact I just glance at them with what I think is a completely neutral expression on my face.
I get that a lot too. Even worse, I get accused of giving people "dirty looks" when in fact I just glance at them with what I think is a completely neutral expression on my face.
Upgrade your account now to disable all ads...
Upgrade nowWe use essential cookies to make this site work, and optional cookies to enhance your experience.