Young Death (1 Viewer)

[mackle]

Sorry to be bitching here. I just found someone I knew a few years ago from my old school died. I didnt know him that well but he was really sound and its so upsetting to know that he's dead now. Its just fucking scared me so much that he was only a year older than me and he's gone. You know its scary to think at anytime anyplace death could happen even at a young age.

Its just weird and upsetting this whole thing.

 

[BC]

Sorry to be bitching here. I just found someone I knew a few years ago from my old school died. I didnt know him that well but he was really sound and its so upsetting to know that he's dead now. Its just fucking scared me so much that he was only a year older than me and he's gone. You know its scary to think at anytime anyplace death could happen even at a young age.

Its just weird and upsetting this whole thing.

my most sincere condolances and thoughts and prayers are with you, ciaran, and all who knew him in anyway. i've been there before and since. i can only assure you that things do get better with time. maybe not make sense, but its a reminder to us that life is a precious and temporal thing, we should make the most of everything we have and give thanks for every moment.

 

[La La]

sorry to hear that. death is a hard concept to grasp as it is without it happening to someone young that you know. it's very tough.
it does, however, make you realise that there's so much mediocre bullshit in the world and you kind of rise above it and see things much clearer. i guess if your friend's death can make you live your life to the full, then it won't have been in vain.

 

[Buzzo]

Hey Ciaran I think it's all pretty scary too. I've lost friends and it never made me feel like living life to the full. Maybe it has on a subconscious level. It just made me sad. It's horrible but it happens and it's gonna happen more and more as you get older. I can't imagine it ever gets easier. Grim.

 

[La La]

Hey Ciaran I think it's all pretty scary too. I've lost friends and it never made me feel like living life to the full. Maybe it has on a subconscious level. It just made me sad. It's horrible but it happens and it's gonna happen more and more as you get older. I can't imagine it ever gets easier. Grim.

everyone knows what its like to have people around you die, but to resign yourself to grim and misery is even more upsetting. of course you need time to grieve etc, but it's highly doubtful that your friend who has passed would be happy for you to mope around all day.

 

[cozy]

a guy i used to go to school with recently found out he has a brain tumour when they did a scan because he was suffering from depression. He has an operation a few weeks ago but he never woke up. Kind of puts your own mortality into perspective

 

[RSJ]

I think it's horrible to have a sense of your own mortality too young, when you should be doing all crazy jumping off stuff type stuff. I'm lucky in that i've never had anyone close to me die when i was old enough to be affected by it. Just recently though a neighbour fell sick with cancer, it's pretty upsetting but like lala says, it's made me a bit more determined to do as much as i can.

 

[Buzzo]

everyone knows what its like to have people around you die, but to resign yourself to grim and misery is even more upsetting. of course you need time to grieve etc, but it's highly doubtful that your friend who has passed would be happy for you to mope around all day.

Ah yeah, it's not *that* bad.

 

[chutneyfarmer]

Really sorry to hear about this Ciaran. It's always amzing how the passing of a person can affect those around them, even those who aren't particularly close to them. I recently went through something kinda similar so if ever you want to talk about it or ask any questions, please do. It really does help, and chatting with people on Thumped about it, and getting their messages of support really helped get me through the toughest of times. Hang in there bud.

 

[Corey]

Sorry to be bitching here. I just found someone I knew a few years ago from my old school died. I didnt know him that well but he was really sound and its so upsetting to know that he's dead now. Its just fucking scared me so much that he was only a year older than me and he's gone. You know its scary to think at anytime anyplace death could happen even at a young age.

Its just weird and upsetting this whole thing.

Thats sore news.

Lost a good friend very suddenly couple years back, never really got over how it happened, but at the very least, after the worst of it passes you're left with fond memories and the odd smile. Try not to think about the why's and how's too much; because there arn't any answers and you could melt your thinkhole trying to figure them out. And you're no good to anyone here with a melted thinking hole, now are you?
Stay up pal.

Sympathies.

 

[Buzzo]

I may be wrong, but I kind of get the impression that Mackle isn't affected so much about the death of this particular young dude rather than the shock of facing his own vulnerability and mortality. According to many credible psychologists (I know Yalom deals with it in a really interesting way, for anyone who cares) we can't really be mentally healthy unless we confront and accept the reality of our own mortality. I think most people do a little when something like what happened to Ciaran happens. Young people think they're indestructible and maybe something like this just brings it home that we're not. Doesn't make the prospect of dying any less grim but at least it's not this big fat elephant in the parlour of your life for ever.

 

[chutneyfarmer]

I may be wrong, but I kind of get the impression that Mackle isn't affected so much about the death of this particular young dude rather than the shock of facing his own vulnerability and mortality. According to many credible psychologists (I know Yalom deals with it in a really interesting way, for anyone who cares) we can't really be mentally healthy unless we confront and accept the reality of our own mortality. I think most people do a little when something like what happened to Ciaran happens. Young people think they're indestructible and maybe something like this just brings it home that we're not. Doesn't make the prospect of dying any less grim but at least it's not this big fat elephant in the parlour of your life for ever.

Re-reading his post, i think you're right. A huge part of dealing with a death, for me anyway, is realising your own mortality and also that of the people around you. Hope the lad's ok.

 

[Wavioli]

Yeah really sorry to hear that Ciaran, I had something similar happen last xmas, an ex girlfriend of mine was killed in a car crash. The hardest part is thinking that you'll see someone again, and then all of a sudden theyre just gone. It can be quite hard to take, but as someone said above, just remember the person fondly and itll put a smile on your face, not fear or sorrow in your mind. RIP.

 

[mackle]

Thanks everyone! Its nice to come here and read some supporting message.

Aoife sorta got what I was trying to get at. I'm just sort of put into my place by what happened. Like its made everything I feel worried about seem irrelevant. But then I think most things are irrelevant in comparison to death espically when its somebody so young. I guess its sorta selfish of me to be worried about myself and my own mortality when his family are probaly going mad with despair right now.

 

[chutneyfarmer]

Thanks everyone! Its nice to come here and read some supporting message.

Aoife sorta got what I was trying to get at. I'm just sort of put into my place by what happened. Like its made everything I feel worried about seem irrelevant. But then I think most things are irrelevant in comparison to death espically when its somebody so young. I guess its sorta selfish of me to be worried about myself and my own mortality when his family are probaly going mad with despair right now.

Dude, don't feel selfish for worrying about that stuff!!!! Apart from dealing with their loss, the exact same thoughts are probably passing through the family's minds. I think it's a perfectly natural thing to do. I mean in the grand scheme of things 99.9% of the things we do are probably irrelevant but it's all we have.

 

[cpr]

jaysus that sucks. good luck anyway. it must be a really tough time for you.

 

[La La]

i think realising your own mortality is a good thing. too often people rest on their laurels and drift along, unfulfilled, unhappy etc. of course everyone knows there's an end somewhere, yet dont live their life to the full extent to which it could. i think it should be about tapping into your own ubermensch and releasing it upon the world.

i had the opportunity to interview Dr Raymond Lasseure (director of Medicin Sans Frontieres) 10 days before he died. it was his last ever interview, and he died 2 days after it was published. as he lay in his bed, wracked with cancer, he was regaling tales of his life and it really was a colourful one. he laughed at the good memories and told me that it's not always going to be a bed of roses, but it's the good and bad in life that shape who you are in the end. i think that's an important lesson. you could die at any age, but if you can say to yourself 'ah sure i couldnt prevent this happening, but damn did i give it 10000%', then I think that's the peace of mind everyone craves.

i think now is a good time to suggest that everyone who reads this post go and pick up a copy of 'Tuesdays With Morrie' - perhaps the most enlightening and humbling read. then pass it on.

;o)

 

[Anthony]

deleted entry

 

[skinnerchinner]

a bloke died when we were in school in PE
a real shame , soundest bloke you'll ever meet

 

[mackle]

Who was the cunt who docked me rep on this thread. Seriously not on!