Twing Twing Twing *** (3 Viewers)

[Ex-User (252)]

Happier says:
what was for lunch over in happyville?

happy says:
ah grand

happy says:
ham sambo, broccoli soup and coffee

Happier says:
i had a sanglidge

Happier says:
so dull.

happy says:
well, you could have been an ethopian!

happy says:
or eaten one

happy says:
some emoticon

happy says:
don't be so dismissive

Happier says:
we're all ethiopians

happy says:
except me

Happier says:
remains of the first human were found in etiopia

happy says:
i'm not human

Happier says:
oh yeah

happy says:
media today eh? pricks... you know, feeding off people's insecurities... and they thrive on the errosion of family values

Happier says:
values eh?

happy says:
like those smirnoff ice ads, encouraging people to be unfaithful and then lie about it, like it's something cool...

happy says:
that kind of thing

happy says:
it basically says, you drink this, follow all urges, fuck everyone and then lie about it

Happier says:
that's all to do with the attention span of todays youth

Happier says:
does anyone have the energy to see a relationship through? i dunno.

Happier says:
ads are the new cinema.

happy says:
energy, you think it's down to energy?

Happier says:
not really. not in that sense

Happier says:
i mean... eh.... it's far too much effort

happy says:
like... it's cool to lie, to be unfaithful, all the kida are doing it ... with this drink, you can indulge yourself, and get away with it...

happy says:
you think that's what people actually want? instant gratification?

Happier says:
oh yeah

Happier says:
don't you ?

Happier says:
fast food, one night stands mobile phones...

happy says:
i had enough of that in college

happy says:
one night stands are ultimately unsatisfying, unless the bird is a real goer like... then they're bleedin rappa

Happier says:
yeah. mostly shit tho.

happy says:
i got a new phone today, it has 10 games on it and i can program it to let me know when me bird is within 20 feet so i can put down my smirnoff ice drink and continue with my guinness and wholesomeness

Happier says:
i'm rappa at them buh

Happier says:
my new phone calls me a prick any time i'm missing you

happy says:
and those new McTikkas, sex on a stick like...

happy says:
ahh, that's so sweet.

happy says:
i miss you too

Happier says:
aeee

Happier says:
awww

happy says:
so, what you think went on in the boardroom when they were thining up those ads ... what sparked it?

Happier says:
they thought about modern lad, and how he's a cunt. so they invented some sunt ads about cunts after reading an issue of fhm, which i call the cunting times.

happy says:
"chairman, ladies and gentlemen, i was in a bar last night, i got this uncontrolable urge to fuck this hot chick even though i have a girlfriend and i got this amazing idea ... what if there was a drink cool drink that would help me get away with this?"

Happier says:
"lets call it cunt"

happy says:
"amazing dennis, it's about time we gave you a rise"...

happy says:
"let's have a brain fucking session, 'see what our 'creative' department (all look at eachother, smirking, smirnoff ice * symbols appear over each of their heads) comes up with shall we?"

happy says:
"yes" says dennis smirking (another * appears above his head)...

Happier says:
it tastes like cunt juice for cunts.

happy says:
the tea lady comes into the office, the all look at eachother knowingly, * symbols appearing above all their heads making that *TWING* noise...

happy says:
starts to get pretty noisy

happy says:
and slightly irksome

happy says:
dennis looks at his tea, 3 * symbols appear above his head, TWING TWING TWING, each one for milk, sugar and stirring his tea.

Happier says:
where do you get this?

happy says:
the MD shouts at him to be quiet... 5 * symbols suddenly appear above his head...

happy says:
one for i'm going to kill that cunt

happy says:
the second for ... with this smirnoff ice bottle

Happier says:
you been working on this at home?

Happier says:
story board and all

happy says:
the third for ... i'll show him, i'll fuck his girlfriend and see how he likes it

happy says:
the fourth for ... i'd better use a johnny, i heard half the office has been with her...

happy says:
and the fifth for .... i'd better put some milk and sugar in my tea...

Happier says:
and one for 'i'm a cunt'

happy says:
TWING TWING TWING TWING TWING

happy says:
half an hour later, the tea lady comes in to take the cups back, there's million and millions of white * symbols, just floating in the air, all the guys, splayeyed and spreadeagled on the boardroom table, dead with smirnoff ice bottles sticking out of their necks.

happy says:
i'd pay good money to see that...

 

[billygannon]

Smirnoff are going to bring out Lady Ice... it'll have the date rape drug in it....

For the lads like....

 

[sparse]

Is that what that new Smirnoff Black ice stuff is then, so you can pretend that the ladies slipped and hit their heads like....are ya with me? anyone.

 

[herv]

smirnoff black ice pantyliners. a sharper bite of the growler.



i cant believe i just said that.

 

[Pantone247]

The Smirfnoff Ice ads I can take or leave,

I mean its moral position is obviously foul and sickening, but so is every second programme on Sky these days, The Villa, Temptation Island, Temptation Villa, Star Trek the Next Temptation... and while the whole "LADS" thing is pretty sick and twisted, I think most people can see its a total male jerk off fantasy and doesn't actually exsist in the real world... the closest thing is some ben sherman scummer going to Tamangos of a tuesday getting some single mother ripped on Hooch and getting his bit away down the dunes... but I digress....


What pisses me off is that fucking Bacardi cat!!

I'd fucking shave that mog and batter it senseless with a bottle of Jim Bean and flush it down the bleedin jacks if I had the chance

 

[silo]

could they not just sell it in those tranquilliser darts that they use to put rhinos to sleep in africa... next morning, howeyeh there luv, i shot you with a dart of smirnoff i'm-a-shithead (twing *) last night and then shagged you in all available orifices while you were conked out, television told me to do it, i hope you don't mind...

 

[Ex-User (252)]

now now, i beg to differ where temptation island is concerned. i'm 'against' reality TV in general but TI is fucking deadly, never miss it. it's beautiful, real emotions, real feelings... two people, unsure as to whether they want to be with eachother for ever... willingly get separated for a few weeks on an island with nothing but 10 or so *hot* members of the oppsoite sex and copious amounts of free booze to distract them...
and like, they wouldn't go on it if they didn't have some sort deep-rooted distrust for eachother... something that happened between them maybe a few years back... maybe one of them suspects something but isn't sure ... and in order to find out or confirm their suspicions, they're willing to have this all revealed to them on national TV, with their friends and family watching...
like, there's one couple on the one that on sky at the moment ... engaged and have been with eachother for 10 years and within 2 days, the bird had half the single fellas licking tequilla offa her titties... her boyfriend saw a video clip of this and then went nippy dipping with one of the single girls... his girlfriend then saw this and said "that's it, i'm going to have sex with Mr. X on the beach ... i told him i'd go one better"... and she seemed genuinely distressed about the whole thing...
and another couple, after the first night, the girlfriend was filmed asleep in a bed with another guy... nothing happened but it looked terrible to her boyfriend, it looked like they were naked in bed together. her boyfriend sees a clip of this and sends her back a message saying "as far as i'm concerned, i'm single from now on and you can kiss my arse"... his girlfriend has been inconsoleable since then and he's since shifted one of the single girls...
anyone else watch this? pure gold like...

Originally posted by Pantone247
The Smirfnoff Ice ads I can take or leave,

I mean its moral position is obviously foul and sickening, but so is every second programme on Sky these days, The Villa, Temptation Island, Temptation Villa, Star Trek the Next Temptation... and while the whole "LADS" thing is pretty sick and twisted, I think most people can see its a total male jerk off fantasy and doesn't actually exsist in the real world... the closest thing is some ben sherman scummer going to Tamangos of a tuesday getting some single mother ripped on Hooch and getting his bit away down the dunes... but I digress....


What pisses me off is that fucking Bacardi cat!!

I'd fucking shave that mog and batter it senseless with a bottle of Jim Bean and flush it down the bleedin jacks if I had the chance

 

[billygannon]

It's boring. Really boring. Nationwide is much better.

And I'm not being ironic. I fucking hate irony. Waaaay too mercurial - which I REALLY hate. But not as much as Liverpool. Or turnips.

 

[Ex-User (252)]

and 'Your Face Or Mine' on E4? Genius!!!

 

[silo]

i need to see your FACE! or mine.

or is that the thicko bras.

Originally posted by happy
and 'Your Face Or Mine' on E4? Genius!!!

see

 

[herv]

werry witty.

 

[Hector Grey]

Fred Flintstone says:
you should have seen me shaking this morning

happy says:
you're getting on you know...
Fred Flintstone says:

got ouf bed, has a glass of water, almost spilled it i was shaking so much. fucking hell, what's with that?

Fred Flintstone says:
i know, after last weekend, i was shaking until wednesday.

Fred Flintstone says:
can you imagine the state of me when we get back on sunday night.

happy says:
fuck no

happy says:
jeebus
Fred Flintstone says:
given the amount of booze we're used to, add in the various narcotics. stick us on a bus for a few days, away from home. away from the wives and chilrren, like a fca meet in a wicklow bog

Fred Flintstone says:
debauched and bruised and singing wheezing songs of forgetting, palms up against the tinted glass, breath clouding in front of us

Fred Flintstone says:
oh, for another cigarette, or another line stood at the back of the dingy dressing room, lit by a naked sixty watt bulb that flickers and crackles. you can smell the burning dust off it.

Fred Flintstone says:
the windows jerk in the wind, rattle, panes of glass barely held in by flaking putty. scratch a valediction on the wall of the jacks, someones name, maybe your name, maybe you were there

Fred Flintstone says:
and back down stairs where the booze is and the girls with the life in their eyes too awake for you to crush. you could invite them up, couldn't you?

happy says:
totally

happy says:
where is this? kilkenny? kilkeeny girls put out ... like waterford girls

happy says:
and all girls

happy says:
sluts

Fred Flintstone says:
all girls, who eye suspicously, check out my drunken waddle on the dance floor. what do they think when i come up to them and proffer my hand to take there bird like claws into mine

Fred Flintstone says:
and kiss them gently on the knuckle and say, my my, how predictable are you? how predicable indeed

Fred Flintstone says:
and i can't take you home till i stop liking you but i can't stay here talking to you cos i don't wan to get to like you. and one time i'll be caught off gaurd and look up to find those eyes, them glowing eyes, staring back at me, beneath them a smile, the kind that intimates a shred joke. a shared secret. we both know the secret, but are not qualified to tell.

happy says:
oh for fuck sake, you've gotta get laid soon

happy says:
like REAL soon

happy says:
we're losing you...

Fred Flintstone says:
you think?

Fred Flintstone says:
what about the one you take home while your eyes are swollen with sleep needed and lips are cracked and dry, and she sits on the couch and i needed to shut her up, and take her upstairs, and whisper in her ears, oh you mean nothing to me, which more or less gaurentees you're about to have a good time. in the subtle darkness of incipent dawn that trickles through the curtains i make no pronouncment

Fred Flintstone says:
yet when she speaks in an arcane husk i could almost forgive her for being there.

Fred Flintstone says:
but then i wish she was gone, and i won't trace her cotours left on my sheets as i have done with others before, won't see if her scent lingers, her redolance hovers

Fred Flintstone says:
and i get up to recommence my shaking

happy says:
jaesus

Fred Flintstone says:
ineed. him of all people

 

[Dan]

Originally posted by Pantone247


What pisses me off is that fucking Bacardi cat!!

Little fucking shitbag...I'd torture it for days on end and never lose interest, or the will to inflict cruelty. It'd never fucking purr again....

Smirnoff ice, the lads, dude wheres my car?, temptation island, reps in ibiza, Qbar..... It hurts me physically to think about

 

[Dan]

Originally posted by Dan
Little fucking shitbag...I'd torture it for days on end and never lose interest, or the will to inflict cruelty. It'd never fucking purr again....

Smirnoff ice, the lads, dude wheres my car?, temptation island, reps in ibiza, Qbar..... It hurts me physically to think about

And while I'm on a rant, I was sitting across from a bunch of student teachers on the train yesterday. Talking about going to the Qbar and so and so's boyfriend whos actually very nice, but you wouldn't think it cos he looks like a weirdo cos he has long hair and I'd generally avoid people like, cos they're strange + much other narrow minded bullshit + robbie williams cd swapping. These are what are teaching the next generation......my kids are going to be thought by these shitheads??????

Sorry, Coraline, you're an obvious exception to this and maybe I just got a bad bunch...

 

[sarah]

Originally posted by Dan
And while I'm on a rant, I was sitting across from a bunch of student teachers on the train yesterday. Talking about going to the Qbar and so and so's boyfriend whos actually very nice, but you wouldn't think it cos he looks like a weirdo cos he has long hair and I'd generally avoid people like, cos they're strange + much other narrow minded bullshit + robbie williams cd swapping. These are what are teaching the next generation......my kids are going to be thought by these shitheads??????

Sorry, Coraline, you're an obvious exception to this and maybe I just got a bad bunch...

A girl I know who's just finished her degree,
she wants to be a teacher but prides herself
on the fact that she's never read a book in her life.
and that she passed all her courses by reading
summaries of all her books.

that makes me sick!

 

[manky mongrel]

teachers are cunts

so are hippies

so are people in bands, all of them

 

[silo]

deep man

Originally posted by manky mongrel
teachers are cunts

so are hippies

so are people in bands, all of them

 

[Hector Grey]

the man has a point.
people with faces are just cunts too.
and people without faces? don't make me laugh. cunts.

 

[manky mongrel]

Don't get me started on those people. Total cunts.

Actually, just people in general. But especially ones with beards, long hair, or slight waddles. And ones with shifty eyes and rasta hats?

C retinous
U seless
N egligible
T ossers

 

[silo]

http://cuntyfreshme.tankgreen.com/cunt.htm

Originally posted by Hector Grey
the man has a point.
people with faces are just cunts too.
and people without faces? don't make me laugh. cunts.