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I'm getting sucked in here
What If The New Star Wars Sucks, Too?
This is Luke and Vader’s confrontation in The Empire Strikes Back (edited by a YouTuber to remove the bits of Leia and Lando’s B-story sprinkled in there). By the end of it, Vader is so terrifying, so huge and cruel and relentless, that he’s hard even to look at; you’re afraid he’ll catch you peeking at him and fuck your shit up through the screen. Take a moment to consider what Vader does in this sequence.
After wearing Luke out with furious lightsaber skills from one end of Cloud City to the other; after bashing him to a pulp with flying space toasters; after blasting Luke out of a window and chasing him out to the end of a lonely windblown plank far from everyone who has ever known or cared about him, he lops the little pissant’s entire hand right the fuck off and then, then, onlythen, figures the time is right to go, Oh and also, I fucked your mom.
As our own Tim Marchman put it, it’s the rawest own in cinema history. The crucial line—“No. I am your father.”—lands like an atomic bomb precisely because the dude saying it just spent the previous movie-and-three-quarters making you wet your pants, and is saying it to the young cock whose hand he’d just hacked off like it was nothing. That was his son he did that to! Just now! Luke’s reaction, horror and revulsion and shame so great he literally chucks himself into a bottomless pit over it, feels downright understated. Darth Vader, at that moment, is as stark and evil a villain as any movie has ever had.
Worst thing is that it's too cold for Leia costumes anywayI kind of knew this would happen
Still though
Cosplaying at Force Awakens Screenings Just Got a Little Bit Harder
If you can make toasted cheese sandwiches in there, it's a game changerDeath Star Waffle Iron please Santa.
If you can make toasted cheese sandwiches in there, it's a game changer
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