Pet names and the Birds and the Bees (3 Viewers)

[Dromed]

So, wise parents of thumped...

Inspired by the 'telling your kids the truth about death' topic in another thread I'm wondering when is a good age to tell your child about the birds and the bees?

What age where you when you found out? I was about 8 when my friends older brother told us in the school yard - after which i immediately went and told my 5 year old sister who then told everyone she came in contact with for about two months afterwards, much to my mam's delight!

My son is 8 and fairly innocent in this regard..as far as I know! I would rather tell him myself then him to pick up bits from his friends but I'm not sure if he's ready yet! Also, I don't know whether to be clinical about it in using the correct terms or is using pet names better? Personally I'm not a fan of pet names but it makes the thought of talking about it a bit easier for me. (help??!!)

 

[egg_]

I knew all about the mechanics of riding since I was around 3 - I was an inquisitive child living in the countryside and mad into wildlife, I asked the right questions of my parents and got told the right answers. There's no such thing as being "ready", I don't think - it's not exactly earth-shattering information, and doesn't really get important to you until you hit puberty

I don't intend to be clinical when it comes up in our house. There's no such thing as the "correct" word for something

 

[Unicron]

When did "Look Who's Talking" come out? That year - 1980 is how old I was.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

1980 - surely 1990?

 

[Unicron]

1980 - surely 1990?

I mean "the year that is came out" minus 1980.

 

[Froog]

men's bits: wing-wang
women's bits: foo-foo

 

[Pantone247]

Y'know in a weird way I think the whole finding all that out in the playground is sort of a rite of passage... it's a total "WTF" moment, but y'know... I'd say if he's 8 he has some sort of inkling that there's more to the whole 'boy, girl, love, baby, kissing, man, women' game... of if not he's right on time!

I think my Da had a chat with me at 11, at which stage it was very, very, old news... I think I was evening finishing his sentances and trying not to laught a lot


More on point, if your going to do it I'd avoid 'pet names', it's grown up topic and all that and he'd probably appreciate it being treated in a grown up way like... Peepees and Hoohahs are only going to make it seem childish and patronising

 

[egg_]

More on point, if your going to do it I'd avoid 'pet names', it's grown up topic and all that and he'd probably appreciate it being treated in a grown up way like... Peepees and Hoohahs are only going to make it seem childish and patronising

Go on outa that. Nobody calls their mickey their penis in real life. Do they? With the exception of my cousin (whose parents are doctors) who as a child announced to all and sundry while in my house "My penis is so flat"

 

[Dromed]

Go on outa that. Nobody calls their mickey their penis in real life. Do they?quote]


LOL classic!!

Well, at the moment his interpretation of sex is "it's when a man and a woman take off their clothes and roll around kissing" to which I've said well yeah I guess but there's a bit more to it than that which I'll tell you about another time...!! So I think it's time. I guess using pet names is a bit of a cop out and kind of means you're stuck with those names all the time then.

 

[magicbastarder]

I think my Da had a chat with me at 11, at which stage it was very, very, old news... I think I was evening finishing his sentances and trying not to laught a lot

when i was about 8 my dad asked if i wanted to know, and i said "'salright, i'll look it up in the encyclopaedia".

 

[righteous harmony]

My son is 8 and fairly innocent in this regard..as far as I know! I would rather tell him myself then him to pick up bits from his friends but I'm not sure if he's ready yet! Also, I don't know whether to be clinical about it in using the correct terms or is using pet names better? Personally I'm not a fan of pet names but it makes the thought of talking about it a bit easier for me. (help??!!)

show him this thread

 

[egg_]

I guess using pet names is a bit of a cop out and kind of means you're stuck with those names all the time then.

What does he call his mickey himself? What do you call your bits in your own head? I think the most honest approach is to use those words, not a cop out at all

 

[Pantone247]

Go on outa that. Nobody calls their mickey their penis in real life. Do they? With the exception of my cousin (whose parents are doctors) who as a child announced to all and sundry while in my house "My penis is so flat"

I'd always refer to my penis as my penis

my penis

penis

 

[Pantone247]

What do you call your bits in your own head?

woah... dude!

 

[Pantone247]

also my point in avoiding pet names is that at least you have put a clear, plain talking, non-judgmental dialog in place, where these things can be talked about in a practical non-sensationalist way... which could be good down the line... *shrug*

If my Da had come out with "then you stick your lad in her box" way back when, I think I'd still be unable to look him the eye...

 

[snakybus]

I say things like purple-headed warrior and hairy hatchet wound, so I reckon those are a bit complex -- and let's face it, descriptive -- for kids. "Willy" does the job. Not sure about "fanny" though. Sure why not.

 

[egg_]

also my point in avoiding pet names is that at least you have put a clear, plain talking, non-judgmental dialog in place, where these things can be talked about in a practical non-sensationalist way

But in a very formalised way that the child will be unfamiliar with. Using unfamiliar words may give you as a parent a bit of emotional distance from the subject and make you more comfortable, but it surely makes things more confusing for the child - you've been saying "willy" as long as he can remember, and now you're calling it a "penis" and telling him the word he's been using is "wrong", and then you're introducing some other word he doesn't know for what-a-girl-has-instead and you seem all embarrassed talking about all this for some reason and he's wondering what the fuck is going on.

 

[Pantone247]

I say things like purple-headed warrior and hairy hatchet wound.

wow... you should go with that Mike, I reckon you'll scare them off 'foolin round' for life...

 

[Pantone247]

ah 'penis' is hardly an "unfamiliar word", I mean he/she isn't going to think you mean "knee" or "elbow", I think generally I'd keep a more formal tone with my kids on this one anyhow, I'd never assume I'd know the local school yard lingo and there's nothing worse then trying to be cool about these things... but I guess we're both saying "stick to what you know here" one way or another....

"You say toma-toe, I say tom-A-to
I say Va-gina, you say hairy gash
lets call the whole thing off!"

But in a very formalised way that the child will be unfamiliar with. Using unfamiliar words may give you as a parent a bit of emotional distance from the subject and make you more comfortable, but it surely makes things more confusing for the child - you've been saying "willy" as long as he can remember, and now you're calling it a "penis" and telling him the word he's been using is "wrong", and then you're introducing some other word he doesn't know for what-a-girl-has-instead and you seem all embarrassed talking about all this for some reason and he's wondering what the fuck is going on.

 

[flashback]

Y'know in a weird way I think the whole finding all that out in the playground is sort of a rite of passage... it's a total "WTF" moment,

I remember the moment quite clearly alright.
I had seen girl's front bums. And they did not look like the sort of place I was interested in putting my little chap.

In fact I had a strong feeling that it might be very painful for all concerned.

So, when I was told about it, I was all, "ah yeah, I knew that". But secretly I was thinking "you're a sick mentaller, and there's no way I'd do that, because it would be sore, and my chap is the last thing I want to hurt."