Overstepping boundaries? (6 Viewers)

[nlgbbbblth]

I think its quite common with Irish early-mid 20 year olds. Get up, go to work 9-5 in office job, take bus/Luas home, stick Tesco's ready-made meal in the microwave, plant oneself in front of the TV watching soaps, Simpsons and reality shows for the evening.

substitute 'bus/luas' with 'car' for people outside the city.
Lose the Simpsons.

and you have described the majority of people in my work building.

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

perhaps another solution is to tell her its not working out between you and that you feel she should move out

 

[shower another shower]

If you do go, bring the kettle and shower curtain with you.
It's a good thing you didn't invest in new delf together.

 

[Sweetie]

Hayworth you should totally move out. She sounds like a misery. Just tell her that you don't feel at home in the flat, you find it difficult to feel it's your place and it's not working out. Ring your landlord and tell him the same. Leave in a month. I've pulled out of a few year long leases. If you've any problem you can say it's not worth the extra money a month.

She'll turn you into one of her otherwise. It's depressing sitting in your room. Life's too short!

 

[Anthony]

Either get out or start using the place like you live there. Walk in and turn off hollyoaks and put on the News. Play your music as loud as you want. Bang doors, leave a bike in the hallway, use the phone and talk loudly while on it. If she has a problem with any of it tell her to Fuck Off.

 

[HMD]

Good plan. Slowly building up a tolerance is the way to go

Yeah, by slowly you mean half a bottle of whiskey a night.

 

[billygannon]

This is simple.

Just bring home a very hungry lion, or a very, very hungry tiger, or a very, very, very hungry liger.

 

[jane]

and when I'm deep in study the place is insanely messy and would have really appreciated someone sorting out a desk and my papers etc.

although now I have a desk and a proper filing system so stay away..

What brokey said, except for the bit about having a proper filing system now, which I don't. Luckily, Mr Jane and I are similarly messy and very lazy in domestic matters. One of the reasons I lived by myself for so long was because I had so much stuff and I really needed my own space, and I couldn't expect anyone to move in without feeling like I'd have to change the way I lived. So I didn't. She's kinda inconsiderate to expect that she can take you in as a lodger and you'll pay half the rent to sit in a box room while she watches Corrie and crams her cakehole. She either wants a flatmate and wants to share, or she doesn't want a flatmate and should get off the ready meals and Tesco cakes and manage her money so she can live alone. She can't have it both ways.

I also lived with a very tidy -- obsessively so -- friend, and we came to a compromise about what was a 'reasonable' level of cleanliness. Anything below that, and it was my problem to sort out, and anything above that, that was her own obsessiveness. She also likes cleaning and we have a sort of sibling-like friendship, so the living situation worked out mostly because of that. Her previous flatmate, M, was also messy, and sometimes, when R (my flatmate) was looking bored or anxious, M would just dump the junk-drawer out on the floor, and R would have a great time reorganising it. Sometimes she'd ask me if she could reorganise my desk, which was always cool with me. Guess we just appreciated each other's neuroses. If she ever tidied when I wasn't around, I felt a little bit bad for not having noticed that it had been messy in the first place, but I was really appreciative of the gesture. Or if she gave out to me for being messy, it was because it was true.

On the -- sort of -- flipside, when my brother came to visit, he reorganised my kitchen without asking. When I say 'sibling like relationship' with my old flatmate, I don't mean the sort of relationship I have with my actual sibling, which is not the sort of relationship where we go around, I dunno, interacting with each other in any sort of meaningful way.

That said, the house is a mess right now and we're too embarrassed to let a cleaner see how we live.

 

[Diddles]

This is simple.

Just bring home a very hungry lion, or a very, very hungry tiger, or a very, very, very hungry liger.

I love ligers :heart:

 

[La La]

oh jesus you HAVE to move out. you will go insane living there, sounds like a very unhealthy environment. leases are made to be broken, so do!

 

[RSJ]

start using the place like you live there.

Exactly. You're giving into her in a big way as it sounds. No need to give in to her, just start acting as if it's as much yours as it is hers, WHICH IT IS. Cook meals when she's in the living room, turn the channel over at least once a night, get a few mates over and invade the living room every so often. You pay half the rent, spend half the time taking the living space over for things you want to do, even if it's something as trivial as watching some program you want to watch, no point in capitulating and moving out, that just means some other poor fucker has to go throught that selfish wench's shite!!!

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

Yeah, move out, just try and avoid any overt psycho rearranging in your next place.
Or should that be your next 'project'

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

I love ligers :heart:

these photos of people cuddling large wild animals make me cross. one of these days the liger will maul them to death and chew the legs off them

 

[george mcfly]

i knew this guy that had a thing for tearing up phonebooks and clearing out all the furniture in his sitting room at four in the morning to have wrestling matches.
i could send him
by legend, people call him "the leasebreaker"

 

[Bladez]

I signed a stupid lease. I am kinda stuck unless I want to lie to some poor sucker to take my place. Oh, and neglect to tell them that the restaurant below is a nightclub on weekends, ffs. I'll just suck it up and stay in my room when I am home. It will keep me creative. I have nothing to talk to her about anyway and TV rots the brain. This will make me go out more and encourage me to gain some semblance of a social life here. I am tempted to run to the shop and get some cookies but me eating a box* in front of the computer in my room seems worse than a cake in front of the TV. See, she is already improving my health. Bright side and all.

I don't know what the legal situation with leases is here, but I've never heard of anyone being obliged to stay in a place for a year. Any lawyers around here? Perhaps you'll lose your deposit, but I doubt you'll be legally obliged to pay the remainder of the rent for the year.

Anyway, even finding a replacement shouldn't be difficult and you shouldn't feel bad about it. There are lots of people in Dublin who are desperate for somewhere to stay and who would fit nicely in in a place like that - someone with a similar lifestyle to your flatmate. Be truthful when presenting the place and you'll still find someone soon.

I got stung with this situation in the States - having to leave a few months into a 1 year lease on a apartment. I spent 1 month trying to find replacement tenants. The difference was that in this place the supply far outstripped the demand, so people could afford to be choosey. You won't get that problem here.

 

[Yurn!]

i knew this guy that had a thing for tearing up phonebooks and clearing out all the furniture in his sitting room at four in the morning to have wrestling matches.
i could send him
by legend, people call him "the leasebreaker"

remember that time you went to bed and then woke up in the middle of a body slam!!!

 

[rettucs]

..... She is eating an entire cake and watching Holy Oaks or Home and Away....

she sounds great.

is she single?

 

[rettucs]

.....when R (my flatmate) was looking bored or anxious, M would just dump the junk-drawer out on the floor, and R would have a great time reorganising it.

your flatmates have the weirdest names

 

[Jill Hives]

Yeah, move out, just try and avoid any overt psycho rearranging in your next place.
Or should that be your next 'project'

I moved a couch 90 degrees and gave her a desk so the computer wasn't on the kitchen table making it unusable for its intended purpose. That's hardly psycho rearranging. It was the cleaning that did it. You would have thought the cooker top was orange with all the pasta sauce remains baked on it. Now it's white.

I made a point of eating my dinner AT the kitchen table last night, like a normal human instead of in my room or over the sink. What bothers me now is the showers, or lack of showers. Granted I went out for a quick pint last night but there was no, "I just showered (or took a bath rather) smell when I got back. Again this morning up at 8:15 and out the door at 8:30 without washing. So 2 days after a flight and no washing? Yikes. Before I just assumed she showered later in the day because she was home studying. Now I just think she's dirty. And with all her toiletries, for no apparent bathing purpose, I have never seen a toothbrush or toothpaste.

 

[cephalopod]

I moved a couch 90 degrees and gave her a desk so the computer wasn't on the kitchen table making it unusable for its intended purpose. That's hardly psycho rearranging. It was the cleaning that did it. You would have thought the cooker top was orange with all the pasta sauce remains baked on it. Now it's white.

I made a point of eating my dinner AT the kitchen table last night, like a normal human instead of in my room or over the sink. What bothers me now is the showers, so lack of showers. Granted I went out for a quick pint last night but there was no, "I just showered (or took a bath rather) smell when I got back. Again this morning up at 8:15 and out the door at 8:30 without washing. So 2 days after a flight and no washing? Yikes. Before I just assumed she showered later in the day because she was home studying. Now I just think she's dirty. And with all her toiletries, for no apparent bathing purpose, I have never seen a toothbrush or toothpaste.

She's just reducing her carbon foot-print..get with it.