only in my van (1 Viewer)

[plug]

yes please

 

[Bag'o'cans]

I thought was going to be about golden showers and shitting......, well hag did start it!

 

[cpr]

i remember once when i was about 2 or so being in BHS with my mam and my aunt. When we were going up the escalator i remember looking at the big red button and wondering what would happen if i pressed it. while we wandered around up stairs I had this severe urge to press it on the way back down and wondered if i could actually press it cos i was wearing red wellies. So when we got back on the escalator i pressed it and of course it stopped. the security guard gave out to my pregnant mother for allowing me to be so naughty. how the adults chuckled, then they brought me to roches stores for ice cream.
therefore i realised that naughty impish behaviour always went rewarded, thats how i became the woman i am today- evil.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

I thought was going to be about golden showers and shitting......, well hag did start it!

you'll be wanting the brown hailstones thread

 

[nlgbbbblth]

i remember once when i was about 2 or so being in BHS with my mam and my aunt. When we were going up the escalator i remember looking at the big red button and wondering what would happen if i pressed it. while we wandered around up stairs I had this severe urge to press it on the way back down and wondered if i could actually press it cos i was wearing red wellies. So when we got back on the escalator i pressed it and of course it stopped. the security guard gave out to my pregnant mother for allowing me to be so naughty. how the adults chuckled, then they brought me to roches stores for ice cream.
therefore i realised that naughty impish behaviour always went rewarded, thats how i became the woman i am today- evil.

In 1975 I became separated from my mother in Dunnes Stores, Galway while on holidays. I ended up wandering around the store for ages before an old woman found me and berated my mother for not keeping an eye on me. I got a Golly Bar to compensate and puked it up later that evening.

 

[brianoak]

Funniest thread in ages

 

[cpr]

In 1975 I became separated from my mother in Dunnes Stores, Galway while on holidays. I ended up wandering around the store for ages before an old woman found me and berated my mother for not keeping an eye on me. I got a Golly Bar to compensate and puked it up later that evening.

therefore i think we have proved the old adage "crime doesn't pay" as incorrect.
in 1975 i was but a twinkle in my parents eyes,i'm not sure they had even met.
but jaysus golly bars i used to love them. when did they take the picture of the golly off the front does anyone know?

 

[superman]

when i was in kindergarten, i once karate chopped a new-born baby on the head. i think it was an attention thing.

i used to bite the cheeks of my nextdoor neighbours one yr old baby when i was in her house and she left the room... not sure why. i was 4 or 5 i think.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

therefore i think we have proved the old adage "crime doesn't pay" as incorrect.

but jaysus golly bars i used to love them. when did they take the picture of the golly off the front does anyone know?

possibly due to fears of racial stereotyping - like the much maligned golliwogs in Enid Blyton's Noddy books

 

[cpr]

possibly due to fears of racial stereotyping - like the much maligned golliwogs in Enid Blyton's Noddy books

i used to love gollywogs when i was a kid as did my boyfriend. a couple of years ago i saw a gollywog in my local shop and decided to get it for the bf.
so i said to the bird in the shop" can i buy that gollywog there"
she looked at me in disgust, as if i walked in wearing full starchy white Klan robes and said" They are called gollydollys"
i left the shop hanging my racist head in shame

 

[RSJ]

We used have the south coast local telly mast on the hill next to our house - it beamed the english channels to everyone within about ten miles or so. There was a power chord running from our gaff up to it and one day (during the FA Cup final i'm told) i was gardening with my mother in me wellies and was walking past the chord with a shearer in my hand and thought "hmmm, wonder if it would fall over if i cut this thing" so i cut it. But nothing happened. Walked off noneplussed. Got the fuckin beating of my life i did. And if i'd not been wearing wellies, i'd be dead.

 

[Eddie Gorilla]

When I was around 4 or 5 I used have me Ma convinced that I was afraid that when I took out the plug in the bath I'd get sucked out with the water.
This of course meant I couldn't be left in the bath alone.
Little did she know all I wanted was to have her naked body in the bath with me.
Being cleansed..
Hottt.

 

[muffin]

i used to have a weird compulsion about peoples socks..at any given time i could tell you the colour and texture of every person in the rooms socks..apparently i used to mortify my mother by shouting about them..

 

[Eddie Gorilla]

Ok, I'm sorry but don't ya think that's a little out of line?
Jeez.

 

[mackle]

When I was about six some guy told me off for throwing my empty coke bottle on the ground. He kept going on and on and over that period I got the urge to throw the bottle at him. Hit him right on the forehead.

Oh and round that age as well I used to wonder what would happen if I held a stick out from the side of the road so that cars passing would hit it. Didnt go down very well when my parents had to pay for some guys new paint job.

 

[Ex-User (250)]

i used to bite the cheeks of my nextdoor neighbours one yr old baby when i was in her house and she left the room... not sure why. i was 4 or 5 i think.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ha ha ha ha ha exactly wha ahm talkin' bout. kids is nuts.

 

[*!MiTsUkO!*]

To watch forumla 1 while eating a salted peanut sandwich




That was a good day

 

[Jim A. Morrish]

me ma used to put a half pint of beamish stout in the pot when she was making sphgetti bolognese so there was always a six pack in the house, hence one day when the folks were out for a few hours i drank a bottle or two.

they came back only to find me unconscious on the kitchen floor.


I was 5

 

[*!MiTsUkO!*]

me ma used to put a half pint of beamish stout in the pot when she was making sphgetti bolognese so there was always a six pack in the house, hence one day when the folks were out for a few hours i drank a bottle or two.

they came back only to find me unconscious on the kitchen floor.


I was 5

My uncle was 3 when he downed a half a bottle of sherry, he then went around the house on his tricycle, into my grandad's shop and knocked over the icecream machine, and that's one big machine

 

[roxy]

My uncle was 3 when he downed a half a bottle of sherry, he then went around the house on his tricycle, into my grandad's shop and knocked over the icecream machine, and that's one big machine

Reminds me of a Joni Mitchell song. It's not one she wrote, but one she performs very well.

"I may have been only 3 but I waaaas swwwingin'".