neverending story the next generation (1 Viewer)

[Larry! Gogan!]

one day larry o'shaughnassy was taking a dump when he noticed a large......

 

[Stephen]

Mound member in the bowel beneath him, playing rather unusual....

 

[Osimono]

board games against himself. Suddenly, everyones favourite cartoon character arrived on the scene -

 

[jim mac lunch]

i'm gonna find out where ye live and kill ye for starting this shit up again...
ahh buggerr.......

 

[discoslut]

..said Timmy the toilet leprechan, after the large mound member had released his rather unpleasant bowel. But then miracously out of the blue...

 

[Spudmonkey999]

chicken licken turned up on the scene mouthin all this hyper motherfuckin shit about the sky fallin down

 

[nj]

Spudmonkey999 (10-11-2000 12:14 a.m.):
chicken licken turned up on the scene mouthin all this hyper motherfuckin shit about the sky fallin down

so then this other guy falls down cos he thinks its a game

 

[Larry! Gogan!]

the sky was still falling down
fuck
shit
what the fuck are we doing hanging round here when the sky is falling down
said chicken licken


jesus get your priorities straight
people
its in revelations................crash

later.....




Howie B on a break from the backstreet boys was collecting shells on the beach....

we're off to button moon......la la la

as he was wandering along the beach he came
across a chickens carcass he immediately reported it to the police but not before he had his wicked way with it.......

the police werent interested in the popstar and the choked chicken so Howie B resolved to
solve this groovy mystery himself....

he would travel the four corners of the earth
where he would find a clue in each continent.
With the theme set for the next hundred or so posts Howie B set off on his grand adventure......

 

[mighty bob]

..but was distracted by something shiny. He took a closer look at the glittering object, and was amazed to discover that it was...

 

[nj]

none other than TWINK the host of the fab new tv3 gameshow...........

 

[Spudmonkey999]

twink in her brain gratingly annoying voice said..

 

[applesauce_magee]

"you can say baby , baby can i hold you tonight, baby if i told you the right words, ooh at the right time, you'd be mine".

 

[germ]

it was her variation (christmas panto version) on a theme often expounded by both boyzone, and jason byrne with a small puppet.

twink, however, suddenly fell silent, as the words of the boyzone hit echoed and faded around her. she was trembling slightly, and a slow, sad tear welled up in her eye. she couldn't sing now, even if she had wanted to; her throat was full and her vision became blurred. twink was suddenly inconsolable. she needed to say more than this. to do more. because this was her art! this was her life!!!

but, alas, she knew her time in the limelight was coming to a close. nostalgia flooded her feeble, pretentious mind. it soon turned to bitterness and recrimination (helped in no small part by the onset of a sudden ice-cream headache, despite the fact that twink had not eaten ice cream for thirty-five years, ever since that fateful day in 1965 when her true love anto "anto" mullen (the one with the piaggio scooter, not to be confused with his brother deco "anto" mullen) had broken her heart, and the cone of her ninety-nine, as they walked along the dun laoghaire west pier on a summer morning*), which in turn changed to hatred, and a burning desire to get her own back on all those who twink felt had robbed her, had cheated her, had TAKEN HER LIFE AND HER HEART!!! HAD BURGLED HER BANK OF YOUTH!!!**

a steely glare.

a twitch of the eye.

twink made up her mind.
samantha mumba had to die.

"KILL HER!! FUCKING KILL HER!!! KILL HER ALREADY KILL HER!!!" twink screamed (in unknowing homage to steve albini - twink never having been that much of a us post-hardcore fan, unfortunately). with a look of murderous intent in her eye, twink strode towards the door, brandishing a...


(*note to interactive reader/writer! alert! sub plot/digression possible here with these characters, revealing the nature, history and breathtaking extent of twink's love for anto! please develop, preferably in brackets at the bottom of other posts about unrelated occurences in the main plotline, thereby facilitating a dual-track storytelling approach combined with the possibility of a future reuniting of the disparate threads of plot!)

(**twink, it should be noted, was also an avid reader of old ("soundings"-era) leaving cert syllabus english poetry)

 

[Spudmonkey999]

a bag of mobile phones, as she walked towards the bus stop.

Suddenly she spotted samantha mumba getting on the "bogger bus" (dublin-edenderry for bus spotters) she decided to follow suit. She found a seat from which mumba would be unable to view her terrible deed. The bus began to pull of and as if almost simultaneously twink started to fuck around with the ringer tones on all 200 phones at the same time. this was twinks own form of insane psycho battle, as the phones began to infiltrate mumba's mind....

(muhahhahhaa i lovingly moved the plot to kildare, just so us boggers get a fuckin look in, right and none of that slaggin off de culchie shite)

 

[herv]

the calming somambulent hum of eastcoast radio soothed the travelers, as much as to lull them into sleep. before they knew it they were in...tah dah...New Ross!! oh yea.

 

[crazy dick]

so twink donning a trench coat and crazy hat followed samantha mumba from the bus station......
"where is she going?" thats what Howie B was thinking.
Yes our intrepid master detective was still hot on the tail of Twink....
He was certain she could answer the question of the dead chicken licken.

He would not lose the only lead he had. Wouldnt lose it for anything.
"oh my god theres a dog with a puffy tail.......here puffy ......teehehe"

several hours later Howie realised he'd
lost Twink.........

"..................................fuck"

 

[crazy dick]

howie was no closer to solving his mystery

so he sang a song

"took her for a drink on monday........."

 

[germ]

"shagged her up-agin a wall early on tuesday morning..."

 

[nj]

i made a fry that day i sat down on sunday i chilled with mundy.he was fairly cooel.yo homey sup bro tuesday

 

[Osimono]

A long time passed....

And then some more time....


Eventually Howie B woke up and, in a nod to Rip Van Winkle, realised he had been sleeping in the middle of the street in New Ross for twenty years without anyone having ever attempted to wake him up. The year was 2020, and where was Twink? And what of Samantha Mumps? Howie ran to the nearest newsagent to find out what had happened to both women, as well as to get a copy of Muzik (if it was still going) to see if the dance scene had finally disappeared up its own coke-filled arsehole...could he still ply his trade 20 years on?