Minor Pleasures (7 Viewers)

[rettucs]

There was a woman sat at a table in the local here (back when I was still going out before I caught DEATH Lite Edition), and she looked me up and down and said "Look at you. You're a beautiful man. A BEAUTIFUL man."

Then she stood up, clipped the leg of the table, staggered slightly and immediately snotted herself off the ground in front of me. I was doing the Father Dougal WTF do I do now look, and she hauled herself up, pulled a reasonably large buttplug out of her bag, said something about a dick up her arse, then said she was dying for a piss, and motored directly off to the jacks.

Cork.

you can't say you didn't know what you were getting yourself in for by moving there

 

[egg_]

There was a woman sat at a table in the local here (back when I was still going out before I caught DEATH Lite Edition), and she looked me up and down and said "Look at you. You're a beautiful man. A BEAUTIFUL man."

Jesus dude, you're going to have to post a picture or something

 

[flashback]

Jaysus you're some man for the stories so you are. I love them btw, moar pls.
.
When I was newly going out with the current mrs seanc, we went out to a pub for a pool competition. I went to the bar and there was a very good looking British Caribbean woman at the bar on the phone. She got off the phone just to turn and let me know that I am "impossibly handsome".

Herself knew this woman well. and we were in the first throes of LUVVV, so she jumped in saying "Great to see you. this is my new boyfriend".

The woman, all the local folks knew but I didn't, had suffered a stroke a year earlier. And besides that she was mashed up most of the time anyway, hence the stroke. I was flattered all the same. We're all still friends with the woman in question, and she has recovered well.

A stroke?? What age was she?
FFS. Glad she recovered.
Not quite the same, but my cousin had a fairly small bike accident, and smacked her head off the edge of the path or something. I think she had a minor bleed and it did a number on her. Ten years later, more even, and she's still not 100%. Brain damage is a tough one.

 

[flashback]

Jesus dude, you're going to have to post a picture or something

Yer one was absolutely mutilated, it was late in the night, and I'm not certain both eyes were lining up and able to focus. But her complements stand and got logged.

I was wondering about the buttplug and why she was carrying one around in her handbag to go out to the pub. Took me a while to realise she didn't bring it to the pub in her handbag.

 

[therealjohnny]

Yer one was absolutely mutilated, it was late in the night, and I'm not certain both eyes were lining up and able to focus. But her complements stand and got logged.

I was wondering about the buttplug and why she was carrying one around in her handbag to go out to the pub. Took me a while to realise she didn't bring it to the pub in her handbag.

NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo

 

[flashback]

NOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo

 

[seanc]

A stroke?? What age was she?
FFS. Glad she recovered.
Not quite the same, but my cousin had a fairly small bike accident, and smacked her head off the edge of the path or something. I think she had a minor bleed and it did a number on her. Ten years later, more even, and she's still not 100%. Brain damage is a tough one.

Under 40. Yeah it's mad, you know your getting old etc. So her condition, her meds and whatever other madness she was into left her quite uninhibited. Nonetheless, like yourself, the compliment stood and was noted.

 

[billygannon]

Jesus dude, you're going to have to post a picture or something

He is beautiful. Very beautiful. If you see him, you need to give your eyes a rest because they'll be overwhelmed.

 

[flashback]

He is beautiful. Very beautiful. If you see him, you need to give your eyes a rest because they'll be overwhelmed.

Billy has a small locket he carries around with him of me doing a thumbs up that he takes out and looks at during meetings at work if he's feeling overwhelmed.

 

[GO]

My old studio pc breaking down is actually gonna turn out to be a blessing in disguise...well obviusly when the new one arrives doubly so but..

I'm working on my laptop today and the limitations are inspiring

 

[magicbastarder]

I think I saw Bilie and liked the post. As is my wont I feel obliged to like every single picture of every pet on these threads, because they're all winners.

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she's famouser now.

 

[magicbastarder]

arse, that embedded the link. she's the cover for the release.

 

[seanc]

In other news, I got thrown into some work I don't normally do the other night.

This could be a major complaint, but I was given a role that was easy, but to me, boring. But that's ok, I needed boring. I didn't have the mental bandwidth for anything more. Had I not been in the mood to do as little as possible, I'd have felt demeaned and frustrated. All I had to do was manage the other lads that were thrown into the role and could've also felt made them feel demeaned and frustrated. But they were good.

Anyway, between 15 of my guys, and maybe 100 people altogether, 34 artics in three hours. I've mentioned this before actually, showing the new guys how it can be done when everything is organised blew all the new guys away.

But just at the very end, as we're mopping up the ends of it, I try to show some initiative. The American guy, that shouldn't have even been there, but was because someone has to take care of the last bits, says "WOAH MAN!, We've been having a real good time tonight. Don't start thinking". (say that to yourself in an American accent).

I felt very offended, mostly because he was correct. Also, he has given me a fine phrase that I can use again and again and again.

Thirty four artic trucks. 34! In less than three hours lads. Lidl can't even do that. That's the real rock'n'roll guys.

 

[Unknown Convict]

In other news, I got thrown into some work I don't normally do the other night.

This could be a major complaint, but I was given a role that was easy, but to me, boring. But that's ok, I needed boring. I didn't have the mental bandwidth for anything more. Had I not been in the mood to do as little as possible, I'd have felt demeaned and frustrated. All I had to do was manage the other lads that were thrown into the role and could've also felt made them feel demeaned and frustrated. But they were good.

Anyway, between 15 of my guys, and maybe 100 people altogether, 34 artics in three hours. I've mentioned this before actually, showing the new guys how it can be done when everything is organised blew all the new guys away.

But just at the very end, as we're mopping up the ends of it, I try to show some initiative. The American guy, that shouldn't have even been there, but was because someone has to take care of the last bits, says "WOAH MAN!, We've been having a real good time tonight. Don't start thinking". (say that to yourself in an American accent).

I felt very offended, mostly because he was correct. Also, he has given me a fine phrase that I can use again and again and again.

Thirty four artic trucks. 34! In less than three hours lads. Lidl can't even do that. That's the real rock'n'roll guys.

Are you a human trafficker?

 

[seanc]

Are you a human trafficker?

Human traffickers don't have to think about people's ego's. And they get paid more. And if they get caught, they get free room and board for a few years.

 

[Deadmanposting]

There was a woman sat at a table in the local here (back when I was still going out before I caught DEATH Lite Edition), and she looked me up and down and said "Look at you. You're a beautiful man. A BEAUTIFUL man."

Then she stood up, clipped the leg of the table, staggered slightly and immediately snotted herself off the ground in front of me. I was doing the Father Dougal WTF do I do now look, and she hauled herself up, pulled a reasonably large buttplug out of her bag, said something about a dick up her arse, then said she was dying for a piss, and motored directly off to the jacks.

Cork.

Pretty sure I used to go out with her


I'm about 50% joking there

 

[flashback]

Pretty sure I used to go out with her


I'm about 50% joking there

She came up in conversation at the local last night. If I'm to believe her bodycount statistically speaking you did.


Pricks here still think I'm American.

Are you Irish are you?
Jaysus, I was wondering how you were understanding Noel there.
Jaysus. But born in Ireland Irish?
... oh right. Where in Ireland now would you have been born?
Jaysus. I didn't know where you were from but they were saying America.
Small shake of head.

 

[Unicron]

Pricks here still think I'm American.

There's a lad who has been living around here for 30 years, universally known as The Belgian.

He's from Italy

 

[seanc]

I want to commit this to record.


hanging out this afternoon with my good Scottish friend, not the one I was talking to last Saturday, Apparently that's what I do on a saturday, I hang out with Scotsmen. And there was a spider walking up my leg. Scottish man was intrigued. Because he's Scottish, they like spiders.

Then he said the word "arachnophobia" in a strange way.
I had a lightbulb moment, IRAchnophbia! I'm gonna write a movie about that.

By my eight legs, they'll not take our freedom!!
Why did say that in a Scottish accent?
Because that's how shit the movie is gonna be! It'll be amazing!


I'm making the movie IRAchnophobia. It's my intellectual property. I could even do Iraqnophobia. This post is proof.

 

[ernesto]

In other news, I got thrown into some work I don't normally do the other night.

This could be a major complaint, but I was given a role that was easy, but to me, boring. But that's ok, I needed boring. I didn't have the mental bandwidth for anything more. Had I not been in the mood to do as little as possible, I'd have felt demeaned and frustrated. All I had to do was manage the other lads that were thrown into the role and could've also felt made them feel demeaned and frustrated. But they were good.

Anyway, between 15 of my guys, and maybe 100 people altogether, 34 artics in three hours. I've mentioned this before actually, showing the new guys how it can be done when everything is organised blew all the new guys away.

But just at the very end, as we're mopping up the ends of it, I try to show some initiative. The American guy, that shouldn't have even been there, but was because someone has to take care of the last bits, says "WOAH MAN!, We've been having a real good time tonight. Don't start thinking". (say that to yourself in an American accent).

I felt very offended, mostly because he was correct. Also, he has given me a fine phrase that I can use again and again and again.

Thirty four artic trucks. 34! In less than three hours lads. Lidl can't even do that. That's the real rock'n'roll guys.

on occassion i like to tell my apprentice he's not paid to think. its demeaing but fun for both of us!