nofriendo
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- Jun 17, 2005
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Larger than life in more ways the one, Neil "Razor" Ruddock filled up a large part of the Soccer AM sofa this week and basically assassinated the character of his old team-mate at Liverpool, and "friend", Jason McAteer.
Ruddock held court in the studio for five minutes, and the Jester, McAteer, hung his head in shame.
In Razor's very own words on Mr Jason McAteer:
"Basically right, Dave, you are thick. Dave is his nickname. It goes back a long way because when he was at Bolton his nickname was Trigger. When he signed for Liverpool, Rob Jones was Trigger, and you can't have two Triggers, so we called him Dave. And he is thick.
"And he ruined my life once. I am from south London and I have always wanted to meet Jimmy White and I have never, ever, ever met Jimmy White. We are in a Dublin bar and Dave McAteer says to me, 'Razor, Razor, quick look, your hero Jimmy White has just walked in'.
"As I see Jimmy White, Dave shouts over to him, 'Jimmy! Jimmy! 180!'
"And I still ain't met Jimmy White.
"How about the time when we were in a villa in Spain and decided to hire a car and go to the beach for the day. So I got all the gear in the boot and Dave comes out with a big bag of ice.
I say: 'Dave, what are you doing?'
Dave says: 'It's for the drinks on the beach.'
I say: 'Dave, by the time we get to the beach the ice is going to be melted.'
So he says: 'Oh yeah, I will go and get another one'."
Finally, on Soccer AM, McAteer gets a word in, "I am never going to work again. I am afraid these are all true."
And so Ruddock says, "I ain't finished.
"Dave decided because we were all rich and Spice Boys, well he weren't because he was at Bolton, so he signed for Liverpool and he got his first wage packet, so me, him and Phil Babb went down to the docks to buy this new silver Porsche.
"So we had bought the new, silver Porsche and we went over to Dave's house and we had a night out. We get up in the morning and Dave is taking us to training.
"He goes out and he says, 'hold up lads, it's freezing out there, the car is covered in frost. I will go out there and start the engine, clear the frost off and we can finish our coffee and go to training'.
"So we finish the coffee and we go back out and the frost has gone but the car has locked itself and we couldn't get in it.
"I said, 'where are the spare keys.'
"He said, 'in the garage where I bought it from in case something like this happened'.
"So as we are trying to get in, this police car comes round the corner and we are trying to get in like three scallywags and we say, 'no, no it is Razor and Phil and Jason', and the police say, 'ok Mr McAteer, Dave, go and get a coathanger and we will try to open it. It most probably won't work with these new cars, but we will give it a try'.
"Dave walks back out with a wooden one."
Ruddock held court in the studio for five minutes, and the Jester, McAteer, hung his head in shame.
In Razor's very own words on Mr Jason McAteer:
"Basically right, Dave, you are thick. Dave is his nickname. It goes back a long way because when he was at Bolton his nickname was Trigger. When he signed for Liverpool, Rob Jones was Trigger, and you can't have two Triggers, so we called him Dave. And he is thick.
"And he ruined my life once. I am from south London and I have always wanted to meet Jimmy White and I have never, ever, ever met Jimmy White. We are in a Dublin bar and Dave McAteer says to me, 'Razor, Razor, quick look, your hero Jimmy White has just walked in'.
"As I see Jimmy White, Dave shouts over to him, 'Jimmy! Jimmy! 180!'
"And I still ain't met Jimmy White.
"How about the time when we were in a villa in Spain and decided to hire a car and go to the beach for the day. So I got all the gear in the boot and Dave comes out with a big bag of ice.
I say: 'Dave, what are you doing?'
Dave says: 'It's for the drinks on the beach.'
I say: 'Dave, by the time we get to the beach the ice is going to be melted.'
So he says: 'Oh yeah, I will go and get another one'."
Finally, on Soccer AM, McAteer gets a word in, "I am never going to work again. I am afraid these are all true."
And so Ruddock says, "I ain't finished.
"Dave decided because we were all rich and Spice Boys, well he weren't because he was at Bolton, so he signed for Liverpool and he got his first wage packet, so me, him and Phil Babb went down to the docks to buy this new silver Porsche.
"So we had bought the new, silver Porsche and we went over to Dave's house and we had a night out. We get up in the morning and Dave is taking us to training.
"He goes out and he says, 'hold up lads, it's freezing out there, the car is covered in frost. I will go out there and start the engine, clear the frost off and we can finish our coffee and go to training'.
"So we finish the coffee and we go back out and the frost has gone but the car has locked itself and we couldn't get in it.
"I said, 'where are the spare keys.'
"He said, 'in the garage where I bought it from in case something like this happened'.
"So as we are trying to get in, this police car comes round the corner and we are trying to get in like three scallywags and we say, 'no, no it is Razor and Phil and Jason', and the police say, 'ok Mr McAteer, Dave, go and get a coathanger and we will try to open it. It most probably won't work with these new cars, but we will give it a try'.
"Dave walks back out with a wooden one."
