Hows this for a sick day excuse? (2 Viewers)

[cpr]

i'm telling you, go to the dodgiest take away/sandwich shop in yr area today and return to work with the wrapper...yr setting up for a sickie nicely.

 

[sweetoblivion]

I hate calling in sick when I AM sick, I feel guilty.
Hence I have never pulled a sickie.
Respect to those who are able, you jammy wankers.

 

[flashback]

I go into work sick. Fucking dieing. And end up in an even worse state.

I have this attitude that I can tough it out, and then I end up not being able to make it to the subway station almost. And then Holly is thinking I am being lazy because I cant get off the couch to eat.
But, like, I actually cant get off the couch, cause I am almost dead and am seeing shit and things.


I am a fucking eejit though.


I am also hardly ever sick, so I get away with being simple that way.

 

[Doctor Muscles]

I would have a whole story worked out, BUT, just ring and say "Look can't come in today, I'm sick, I'll be in Monday (or whatever), I'll have a doctors note".
If he's an asshole about it, just repeat that you're sick or say "asthma" or say "It's on the doctors note".
Basically tell him as little as possible. Your medical history is none of his damn business. If you were actually sick you wouldn't give him all the details would you?

I've always used diahorrhea.
Me: 'listen, i'm not gonna be in today, i was up all night on the jacks with the shits and...
Boss: 'okay, don't want to know, too much information, gimme a ring if you'll be out tomorrow as well.'
!bog!bog!bog

These are the best ways by far. Day 1: Ring in and say nothing more than "I'm not coming in" before abruptly hanging up. Day 2: March up to boss and announce "I had the shits" before abruptly walking away.

At the height of my powers I was pulling sickies every other week. Bliss.

 

[ernesto]

These are the best ways by far. Day 1: Ring in and say nothing more than "I'm not coming in" before abruptly hanging up. Day 2: March up to boss and announce "I had the shits" before abruptly walking away.

At the height of my powers I was pulling sickies every other week. Bliss.

what powers?
did they decrease with actual sickness?

 

[Doctor Muscles]

Nope. In fact they increased right up until my final warning. Then: BLAM! Resignation!

 

[subbuteo !]

talk about not feeling the best to fellow workers a day or two in advance.
then when you ring in sick they'll be like "yeah he was complaining of not been well yesterday".
when you ring sound sick talk low and slow but don't go over board!!
if the boss asks whats wrong soar throat ,pains all over and in and out of the jacks all night!
then when you do go back to work dont be all chaty and full of life.if any one asks how you are say ok not 100% yet but way better than you were.tell everyone the same story!!!!!say you know a few people who were sick must be something going round! theres always something going round.


now good luck!!

 

[Goatbastard]

Last time I called in sick(2 weeks ago)I phoned my boss while taking a scuttery shit. I wasnt sick but needed the day off and i think the sound of me defecating added some athenticity to the sick call .

 

[jane]

Why don't you show him this thread and ask him which of the suggested excuses he's most likely to believe?

Anyway, I'd go for the squits.

I've very rarely called in sick for a job, mostly because I have generally worked my own hours, and when I do have to be somewhere at a particular time, I think I'm quite lucky in that I don't get REALLY sick that often. I also don't usually get really bad lady pains, and when I do, they rarely last a whole day. I feel like it's this thing where you either have to consider a period an illness -- which it isn't -- or consider yourself weak, or suck it up. But there are times when the pain is too bad to function. They never last too long, though, so usually it's a matter of sitting things out for an hour or so until I feel better. I consider myself so lucky, though -- there are women who are literally bedbound for days each month, even with the strongest of painkillers. That must suck.

There was one year when I threw up every morning, though (and no, there wasn't a chance I was pregnant, and anyway it went on for a LONG time), and I just couldn't make any morning appointments at all. It was lucky I wasn't working in an office during office hours because I'd have been sacked.

 

[jane]

Now that i think of it, i've lost three jobs for taking one sick day - rubber factory, petrol pumps, cleaning job. Man, i've worked for some real assholes.

"We're sorry but we don't have any more work for you at this time".

Ugh. Me too! And yeah, they can't fire you directly for being sick, but they can find a million ways to get rid of you.

I was waitressing one summer and I sprained my knee because the kitchen floor was incredibly slippery. My boss was an asshole of legendary proportions (not as bad as his dad, who had a habit of sexually assaulting waitresses with beer bottles), and so I had to keep working. Eventually had to go to a doc. Even though I just wanted to pay for it out of pocket, by law, the hospital had to file it as a workers' comp case. Was off work for two weeks with a sick note,and when I went back to get a work release form from the doc so I could go back, they told me that there was a problem with the boss's insurance: he didn't have any, and because he'd been found out, they said he could be shut down over it.

They said he couldn't fire me over it, and he didn't. He just didn't give me any tables when I got back. I'd show up for work and I'd have like one table all night, so I couldn't make any tips. Eventually, he just blew up at me one day and chased me out of the place with a rolling pin. That was just sort of his management style.

I was more concerned about the very obvious fact that he was accepting money to let people dump waste in the nature reserve behind the building.

But the point is, if someone wants to get rid of you, they can find loopholes that allow them to use any illness you have as an excuse to do so, if they want to get rid of you badly enough. It's not that difficult, especially if you're a casual worker or contractor, which more and more people are these days. You either do the work on time and without complaint, or they find some other sucker. It's harsh, but that's just the way it is. They don't have to give you a reason not to use you anymore, but you still have to be careful not to give them one.

 

[BonsaiSuperstar]

show you boss this thread - http://www.thumped.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=54557

no not this thread - this thread: http://www.thumped.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=54557