Hows this for a sick day excuse? (1 Viewer)

[mackle]

Have to phone in sick in a few weeks for a whole weekend. The manager I will be dealing with is a bit of an asshole so I need all the loopholes and flaws in my story from people with experience at this. Here's my excuse "Cant come into work today sorry. Last night I tripped on a book that was sitting at the top of the stairs and fell the whole way down and have pulled my back
out really badly and am not really able to leave my bed".

What do you think?

 

[pete]

my first reaction would be:

show me your doctor's cert

 

[RSJ]

Falling down the stairs is pretty drastic. How many days in yer weekend? In my work you need a cert for three or more days. No way around it.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

hmmm, harder to plan ones in advance.
I presume you haven't already asked for the time off and been turned down?

Any sick days I pulled were usually hangover-related. The best policy was to ring in and say
'I was out until 4am last night and I'm in no fit state to work or interact with the public. Should be in tomorrow.'
Surprisingly such honesty was more appreciated than some bullshit about food poisoning or endless dead relatives.

 

[Scientician 0.8]

Tell him you have a bad case of the AIDS. He won't question it and if he does start humming "streets of Philadelphia".

 

[mackle]

Yeh its three days before we need a sicknote and I only need 2 so thats not a problem. Nah haven't mentioned a thing to them about wanting this time off before so they wont be expecting it.

Was thinking of maybe using my asthma as an excuse like "sorry cant come in being up all night with my asthma. Been playing up for the last few days. Dont feel up to it"

Is it better?

 

[pete]

Yeh its three days before we need a sicknote and I only need 2 so thats not a problem. Nah haven't mentioned a thing to them about wanting this time off before so they wont be expecting it.

Was thinking of maybe using my asthma as an excuse like "sorry cant come in being up all night with my asthma. Been playing up for the last few days. Dont feel up to it"

Is it better?

infinitely

 

[classic seanc]

I would have a whole story worked out, BUT, just ring and say "Look can't come in today, I'm sick, I'll be in Monday (or whatever), I'll have a doctors note".
If he's an asshole about it, just repeat that you're sick or say "asthma" or say "It's on the doctors note".
Basically tell him as little as possible. Your medical history is none of his damn business. If you were actually sick you wouldn't give him all the details would you?

 

[mackle]

Aye actually your right. What can he do really. If I'm sick I'm sick. Fuck him. Not as though he can say no
​

 

[muffin]

yeah you dont have to give them any details and they cant ask for any details..so just so 'im sick and i wont be in'..

 

[mr pharmacist!!!!1]

i love how people get all pissy about their bosses demanding reasons when they call in sick even if their faking it.
mackle, i think the falling down the stairs one is classic. nice touch with the book being at the top of the stairs.

 

[pete]

 

[cpr]

stomach bug can be a good one too, no one can want you in work if yr puking and shitting all over the gaff. this then can be subsequently blamed on "a dodgy curry i had on Friday" or a virus.

but you can't go back into work on a monday eating like a hoor, you gotta eat crackers and sick food for a day or two, just to prove yr bona fide

 

[billygannon]

my first reaction would be:

show me your doctor's cert

I'm going to have to take tomorrow off. Toe is very sore - had the nail removed.
But I can't get a doctor's cert. They say here that you can self-certify for up to six days.

 

[Buckrake]

I've always used diahorrhea.
Me: 'listen, i'm not gonna be in today, i was up all night on the jacks with the shits and...
Boss: 'okay, don't want to know, too much information, gimme a ring if you'll be out tomorrow as well.'
!bog!bog!bog

 

[Cormcolash]

Mackle, no-one in their right mind believes the falling down the stairs one. I remember a girl in my work tried that years ago and we all pissed ourselves laughing and imagining the state of her face when she landed on it.
The best thing to do to get a few days off sick is to just say you have the flu. That lasts at least a few days so they can't really hassle you.
First day you phone in, I've got the flu, can't work today, I'll see how I feel tomorrow. Second day, I'm still sick, getting really dizzy and stuff when I stand up, whatever, can't work today, I'll see how it goes tomorrow. Third day, Sorry still sick, heads killing me, feeling a little bit better though, maybe it's starting to go away, sorry can't work today.
No boss can complain about that, and it doesn't even require a sick note.

 

[flashback]

I'm going to have to take tomorrow off. Toe is very sore - had the nail removed.
But I can't get a doctor's cert. They say here that you can self-certify for up to six days.

jesus christ billy. What the fucks the deal with your feet. They are always in ribbons. I'd say that was unbelievably painful.

Here, stick with the Asthma one mackle. Tell them that there is some pollen in the air, and you are all stoned medicated up on antihistamines with fierce asthma attacks all the time.

I think Billy is right with not needing the cert straight away, although 6 days seems long... Is that right is it? Maybe. That's Liberal homo Europeans for ye.

 

[xsteox]

if anyone's boss reads this. megalolz!!!!!

 

[pete]

They say here that you can self-certify for up to six days.

for us it's two, up to 6 days in total (i think) over a 12 month period before you start getting narky letters.

 

[therealjohnny]

If you're well enough to go and get a doctors cert you're well enough to go into work

shiftless slugabeds