Has anyone ever been a witness for the "defence" in a law suit??? (1 Viewer)

[ratmonkey]

Watch some Harvey Birdman or Matlock episodes as research.

 

[evil bandit]

I represented Yurn in court once but got booted out as the judge wouldn't allow for 'grand standing' in his court, it also didn't help that I refused to recognise the court in the first place.

 

[nooleen]

Dealing with scientists is a lot like dealing with lawyers.
Le sigh.

you wot?

 

[flashback]

you wot?

in the sense that they both are often careful and precise with how and what they say, to the point of being pedantic.
If you say anything that can be misinterpreted it will be. In fact, scientists and lawyers will look for ways that it is possible to misinterpret what was said, or interpret it in some extreme way, to test if what was actually said holds for all cases.
If it doesn't, then you would have to do some hand waving and add caveats and so on.

 

[classic seanc]

double jeopardy means you can shit on the judges hammer twice and get away with it. third time will get you locked up.

No dumbass, that's the three strikes rule. Don't you watch any American television?

Double jeopardy means that the second time you shit on the judges face you get a thousand dollars.

The answer is "Shitting on your face, m'laud". What is the question?

 

[nooleen]

in the sense that they both are often careful and precise with how and what they say, to the point of being pedantic.

when you say 'often', can you define more precisely what proportion of your dealings with scientists and/or lawyers has involved this type of behaviour? and secondly, what sample size of people are you basing this on?

 

[flashback]

I would define "often" as "you're claimed", and N would be "back of the bike sheds at fucking 4 o'clock".

 

[nooleen]

arf arf
your lawyers versus mine?

 

[Cormcolash]

when you say 'often', can you define more precisely what proportion of your dealings with scientists and/or lawyers has involved this type of behaviour? and secondly, what sample size of people are you basing this on?

Warning, pedantic scientist in the building!

 

[nooleen]

toot toot! all aboard for the joke train!

 

[sweetoblivion]

crikey whathappen good luck with that!
I've never attended court as a witness etc but I do a lot of court reporting, so from that side of the fence I'd agree totally with those who say:

- dress well (no problem for you!) as first impressions do count - they want to know you're serious. Something fairly sedate though.

- take your time, don't let the lawyer pressure you.

- address the judge

- expect the lawyer to possibly try and trip you up when they're questioning you - as long as you tell the truth then that's all you can do. Don't be afraid to tell them they're wrong if they are. Don't get too annoyed.

- good luck!

PM me if you want

 

[La La]

expect delays and adjournments

 

[sweetoblivion]

oh god yeah, forgot about that!

 

[Froog]

toot toot! all aboard for the joke train!

 

[Jelly_Block]

The kids a rat. Get him outta here I tells ya.

 

[Goodbye]

Just stick to the facts . The other side will probably try to discredit any evidence you give . You will be nervous . Helps to write down and rehearse your recounting of the facts . Don't let them rush you .
Take your time , pause when you need to and think carefully about what you're saying and about what you're being asked .
I had to give evidence about a car crash once and used the bible as a prop to show what happened , it was gas ........ "we" lost though , so maybe don't do that .
If it starts to go wrong just clear your throat and yell ,DENNY CRANE!.That seems to work.

hahahahaha
I was in the same car with thairock.
Did'nt help that I got my left and right's mixed up when giving evidence.
Ah well.
Youth.

 

[Goodbye]

first impressions do count

I'd say start off with a Frank Spencer or a Jack Nicholson. Something classic.