Gigantic Spider Scares the bejaysus out of me (3 Viewers)

[dowel]

Spiders speak in curse.
Malteaser MoFo said to me : Fckn watch your shittinshins Iwillbite thefckingfckoutofyou, afterItake apisseasy leapofdoom inyourfckingdirection youshithuman

Tiny wee spider fell from my forehead outside the pub, once someone said I'm due a money windfall as a result I decided he was alright, no great shakes there.

 

[dowel]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z55VY26fCN8"]YouTube - #36.4 - The Low Lows - Dear Flies, Love Spider[/ame]

Dare yiz to pull that on the 39 to Blanch

 

[Lolo]

i love em too, they're too small for petting though.

I have very small fingers. I could easily pet a large bumblebee with my forefinger.

 

[flashback]

I had to look this up... good old Urban Dictionary.com

this Singaporean chick I work with just asked me what a Shillelagh was, and I carefully went through the explanation of what they are and mentioned that my grandad had an old one.

Then, she comes back, slightly appalled, asking me more about my Grandad.
It turns out, she had somehow been off on Urban Dictionary looking it up, and there it was defined as "a large stick used for beating Protestants".

My chuckles didn't help the situation.

 

[Jrad (BFB.ie)]

Spider on the ceiling, picture attached

 

[Spam Javelin]

 

[chutneyfarmer]

WHY??????


JUST FUCKING WHY ??????????​

 

[flashback]

Crabs are more scary than spiders.
Crabs are horrible. Like spiders, only blowing bubbles, making scratchy noises, and motoring about sideways waving their claws about.


Crabs can fuck off in a big way.

 

[Bren.Manazo]

Crabs (as in the eating variety) are grand.
Where I live theres an area where you can get in to the bottom of the sea cliffs at low tide.
There are some deep holes which crabs tend to wedge themselves into (I know this is starting to sounds very much like a bad sex story but stay with me)
Meself and me mates used to fish them out with our bare hands when we were younger.
Great big fuckers like they serve in restaurants.

The trick is to get your hand in around the back of them so they cant get a hold of you with their nippers (adult crabs can easily break a finger).
Anyway long story short, for some reason I dont have any fear of crabs but if a spider comes within ten feet of me I get dizzy spells, go figure!

Crabs are more scary than spiders.
Crabs are horrible. Like spiders, only blowing bubbles, making scratchy noises, and motoring about sideways waving their claws about.


Crabs can fuck off in a big way.