Gigantic Spider Scares the bejaysus out of me (5 Viewers)

[Cara]

Due to a proliferation of cats it seems that Nature is righting the balance of things by developing a taste for kittens in the local raccoon population.

Or something.
I dunno. All I know is I gathered up a box of kittens from under a car one day, and left it up on our porch with a dish of water and an old t shirt, and the next thing I knew there were no kittens and a small note saying :
"Ambassador, with zees kittens, you are spoiling us!"
signed with a bloody raccoon foot print.

Raccoons are scary mother fuckers, despite what I had been led to believe in the above cartoon.

Well so long as they can still talk and have the deceny and poilteness to thank you for the kittens, then my faith in them isn't totally demolished.

Plus cats are nasty fuckers

 

[Dktr. Faustus]

Over an inch long spider fell from my hair just there. I was mildly spooked. I've caved into the house studying for a week, but ffs I have been showering and all...

 

[Cara]

I had a really weird dream yesterday night, there was this ,massive spider coming after me, and he thought I was in my house, but I was in the car outside my house. The bastard was on the wall, and as if running on all his legs wasn't enough, it kind of turned into a hairy Mini Cooper to get to the door of the place quicker. It was not pleasant. I'm never dreaming again.

 

[Dktr. Faustus]

hairy mini coopers are the new big thing with the D4 kids in our uni

 

[Cara]

Students should not have enough money for things like that. It should not be allowed.

 

[Dktr. Faustus]

Students should not be allowed.

agreed

 

[Cara]

a greedy lot of bastards, so they are

That's a bit harsh

 

[Dktr. Faustus]

it's funny because it's true!

 

[Cara]

I still like being one though...
I feel like when I leave uni forever, I'll have to grow up and not be scared of freakish spiders anymore, I don't think I can deal with that

 

[Dktr. Faustus]

Surely you can take an elective on spider-sensitivity training
I like being a student too, I can feel superior through my age and continue carrying on this elevated status in casual conservations in a bleakly sarcastic but partially thruthful level.

 

[Cara]

I don't like them but this thread has gone off track, plus he's kinda cute, in an I'll-crawl-into-your-mouth-while-you're-asleep sort of way

 

[Los Davos]

Look, just ...just, SHIT OFF OK?

 

[Cara]

You can read, yeah? The title of the thread is

Gigantic Spider Scares the bejaysus out of me

What exactly did you expect to be inside? Baby seals?

 

[Los Davos]

ah no sorry, i had the notion of someone who isn't very good at swearing, struggling for a curse. they are so out of touch all
they can say is 'shit off'. I am completely obsessed with this.
I just think its hilarious, didn't mean to go off er topic.

 

[Cara]

The spider reminds you of someone incapable of swearing? I think I missed something

 

[Los Davos]

no, i just decided to post on the first thread in lifestyle with no regard at all. but now that you've posed the concept. spiders are pretty incapable of swearing. or else we just can't hear them.

maybe they sit in their webs, mumbling 'shit off' at us till a fly comes along.

spiders are cool, at a distance.

 

[Cara]

I imagine some spiders to speak quite eloquently, like that one up above, I bet he sounds like he partakes in fencing and likes to spend his evening with a first edition somebody or other and a pipe.

Then there's those skinny hairless ones, with their eyes all icky and sticking out, which look like they're jacked up on crack, and would stab you in the neck if it meant they could get another fix/fly

 

[Los Davos]

steer clear of junkie spiders

really good advise my grandfather gave me. before he expired
from doing too many Worther's originals ads.

 

[killy kill]

Then there's those skinny hairless ones, with their eyes all icky and sticking out, which look like they're jacked up on crack, and would stab you in the neck if it meant they could get another fix/fly

that's spides you're thinking of

 

[Cara]

really good advise my grandfather gave me. before he expired
from doing too many Worther's originals ads.

My granda never gives me advice, he's too busy giving out about the 'darkies' living on his road, who don't "speak the kings English"

that's spides you're thinking of

I had to look this up... good old Urban Dictionary.com