Bored in Work 170... arrrrrr (1 Viewer)

[schmegeggin]

..

 

[SONYMEGADRIVE]

what the fuck - that *HAS* to be photoshoppedd

 

[quasiquasi]

Turn your hamster into a fighting machine

 

[Corey]

JESUS FUCK, i'm bored.

 

[Dktr. Faustus]

..

 

[carcass]

HOT

SIZZLING

 

[Zeelander]

Where was this when I needed it (i.e. yesterday)?

Ah...we're not talking about/like pirates anymore, are we?

Oh I just remembered my joke about pirates.
What do you call a paedophile pirate?
ARRRRR Kelly.

 

[Napalm]

http://www.rinkworks.com/dialect/

 

[broken arm]

 

[zebra heart attack]

THE DEVIL, SATAN

Who is the devil, and where did he come from? What is he doing now? How much effect does he have on men and women? What is he trying to accomplish on the earth, and why? What will eventually happen to him?

Our only possible hope of finding the answers to these and other questions about the devil is the Bible. As we shall see, the devil is a real being with a real personality and with a real purpose to accomplish.

The first in our series of Bible texts giving information about the devil is Ezekiel 28:11-13. Here Ezekiel begins with the familiar phrase which tells us that what follows is a message directly from God. “Moreover the word of the Lord came unto me, saying, Son of man, take up a lamentation upon the king of Tyrus, and say unto him, thus saith the Lord God; Thou sealest up the sum, full of wisdom, and perfect in beauty. Thou hast been in Eden the garden of God. . . .” Wait a minute! According to this, the king of Tyrus was in the Garden of Eden, which God prepared for Adam and Eve at the end of creation week. When Ezekiel received this message from God, probably in the year 588 BC, Tyre was a city on the eastern coast of the Mediterranean Sea. The king of Tyrus, therefore, could not possibly have ever been in the Garden of Eden.

The story of the Garden of Eden is given in Genesis 2:8 through 3:24. There are only four persons mentioned: God, Adam, Eve, and the devil, Satan, who masqueraded as a serpent. Then, after Adam and Eve had been expelled, God stationed angels to guard the garden. The king of Tyrus was certainly not there. What, then, was God talking about in Ezekiel 28 when He said that the king of Tyrus was in the Garden of Eden?

Hebrews 13:2 gives us some insight into this Scripture. “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.” Angels are a higher order of life than we are, and we see from this text that they have the ability to appear as human beings. Indeed, angels have the ability to appear as other forms of life also. As we shall see shortly, Satan was originally a holy angel in Heaven and therefore has this ability to imitate other life forms. He masqueraded as a serpent in the Garden of Eden.

Satan, you see, was masquerading as the king of Tyrus. With this in mind, return to Ezekiel and realize that what is being said is being said directly to the devil himself. Ezekiel 28:11-19: “Moreover the word of the Lord came unto me, saying, Son of man, take up a lamentation upon the king of Tyrus (the devil), and say unto him, Thus saith the Lord God; Thou sealest up the sum, full of wisdom, and perfect in beauty.” Satan is full of wisdom and exceedingly beautiful. Actually he is the most beautiful and the most intelligent being that God ever created. His intelligence might be as much as a thousand times greater than human intelligence. He is so much smarter than human beings that he is easily able to deceive us.

Continuing in Ezekiel, “Thou hast been in Eden the garden of God; every precious stone was thy covering, the sardius, topaz, and the diamond, the beryl, the onyx, and the jasper, the sapphire, the emerald, and the carbuncle, and gold.” Satan, the most beautiful being that God ever created, clothed with a robe encrusted with many precious gems, must have really been glorious. Continuing: “The workmanship of thy taberets and of thy pipes was prepared in thee in the day that thou wast created.” Satan is a created being, just as the angels and all mankind are created beings.

“Thou art the anointed cherub that covereth; and I have set thee so.” Satan was above all the other angels; his position was second only to that of God Himself. God not only created Satan the most beautiful and most intelligent being in all the universe, but also gave him the highest position. “Thou wast upon the holy mountain of God; thou hast walked up and down in the midst of the stones of fire.” Satan could visit throughout the entire universe and was free to come and go in God’s throne room, the holy mountain of God, into the presence of God Himself.

Did God create the devil? The Bible tells us that God is love, that He is meek, gentle, kind, and totally honest and just. Would a god like this create a devil? Verse 15 says, “Thou wast perfect in thy ways from the day that thou wast created. . . .” God therefore certainly did not create the devil, but He did create the perfect, holy angel who later became the devil.

How did this transformation come about? Consider what might happen to a human being if he or she were extremely beautiful. Consider what might happen if he were not only beautiful, but also highly intelligent. Consider also what might happen if this person attained a high position in the business world or in politics. It does not take much imagination to see that he would become intensely proud of his beauty and intelligence. He would begin to feel superior and would ever desire greater power, wealth, and prestige. He would become increasingly self-centered and self-seeking as his greed and pride grew. This experience has happened over and over again on the earth to people who were not even the most beautiful or the most intelligent. This is what happened to Satan.

You see, Satan himself was responsible for his transformation into the devil by the development of his pride, greed, arrogance, and self-seeking ambition. The rest of verse 15 says, “till iniquity was found in thee.” God created a perfect, holy angel, and that angel became the devil.

The question is sometimes asked, “Why did God create this angel who became the devil?” When God created beings with free will, He knew that sooner or later one of them would begin to experience pride and selfish ambition just as Satan did. If Satan had not been created, the experience that happened to him would have happened to another angel. Why God created beings with free will, beings who can disobey if they choose, will be explained later.

Iniquity is another word for sin. Throughout the Bible the word “sin” appears over and over again. An understanding of the exact meaning of this word is fundamental to our understanding of the entire Bible. God has given us the definition of sin in 1 John 3:4: “Whosoever committeth sin transgresseth also the law: for sin is the transgression of the law.” In common parlance a person who breaks a law of the state is called a criminal. When a person breaks God’s law he is called, not a criminal, but a sinner. Sin is breaking the law of God.

Satan became proud of his beauty and intelligence. He forgot that everything he had was a gift from God, and instead of being thankful for the multitude of blessings God had given him, he wanted more and more. As we shall see shortly, he even became dissatisfied with the second position in heaven; he wanted the first. But the only position above Satan’s was God’s. Yes, he wanted God’s position, God’s authority, and God’s power.

Continuing with Ezekiel 28:16, “By the multitude of thy merchandise they have filled the midst of thee with violence, and thou hast sinned. . . .” What merchandise? What was Satan trying to sell, and to whom? Satan’s desire for God’s throne became stronger and stronger until he was totally controlled by his ambition. But Satan had a problem! What was he going to do about God, who occupied the first position? Satan’s plan was to discredit God before all the beings in the universe. He claimed that God and His government were arbitrary and unjust. He said that beings as superior as holy angels did not need the law of God, which, he claimed, was an unjust law that restricted their freedom. He also said that it was impossible to keep from breaking God’s law. This merchandise, the propaganda of rebellion, was spread far and wide in the universe as Satan attempted to discredit God, His laws, and His government in the eyes of the angels and all other intelligent forms of life. Satan reasoned that if he could turn the entire universe against God, then God, because of His kind, meek, and gentle nature, would step down and he could take over.

Continuing with verse 16, “Therefore I will cast thee as profane out of the mountain of God: and I will destroy thee, O covering cherub, from the midst of the stones of fire.” Verse 17 explains that Satan became proud: “Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty.” Satan, being the most beautiful of God’s created beings, became proud of his perfect beauty. “Thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness. . . .” He became proud of his gigantic intelligence. He felt that he was vastly superior to the other beings which God had created; he felt no gratitude to God, who had given him this great honor and great ability. Continuing with verse 17, “I will cast thee to the ground, I will lay thee before kings, that they may behold thee. Thou hast defiled thy sanctuaries by the multitude of thine iniquities, by the iniquity of thy traffic.” Satan’s propaganda and rebellion became increasingly more vile and disruptive. “Therefore will I bring forth a fire from the midst of thee, it shall devour thee, and I will bring thee to ashes upon the earth in the sight of all them that behold thee.”

Isaiah 14:12-17 adds more detail about this rebellion of Satan in heaven. Lucifer, which means “Shining One” or “Brilliant One” was Satan’s name before he started his rebellion. “How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north: I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.” Here is where we are told that Satan wanted God’s power and authority; he wanted to be God.

 

[glen]

 

[Wilbert]

THE DEVIL, SATAN

Who is the devil, and where did he come from? What is he doing now? How much effect does he have on men and women? What is he trying to accomplish on the earth, and why? What will eventually happen to him?

Our only possible hope of finding the answers to these and other questions about the devil is the Bible. As we shall see, the devil is a real being with a real personality and with a real purpose to accomplish.
...............

You're joking with this stuff, right?

 

[zebra heart attack]

You're joking with this stuff, right?

I was just reading crap about the bible predicting hurricane season in the us. The devil was linked

 

[nofriendo]

Speech Bubbles

 

[broken arm]

Speech Bubbles

i love this kind of malarkey

 

[RSJ]

Tennessee closes down Christian ex-gay camp for treating mental illness without a licence

 

[glen]

 

[nofriendo]

http://gorillamask.net/jsemmys.shtml

 

[Zeelander]

My Conversations With God.

Me:
Hi God, how's it going?
God:
Hi there Zita. I am a Christian.
Me:
Really? But a Christian is a follower of Christ, I would have thought you were more of an inventor of Christ.
God:
For real. When is a Christian not a follower of Christ you would have thought me were more of an inventor of Christ?
Me:
Ha ha ha, is that you VerySlowey?
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. I am so glad you find this amusing, Zita.
Me:
Is that sarcasm? Are you angry with me God? I don't think I'd like to incur your wrath.
God:
I do not feel anger at any time, or any other human emotion. Would you ever do it?
Me:
Wow, I'm learning a lot. Ever do what? 'It'? Like riding, you mean? I don't know if I feel comfortable talking to God about that.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Do you have a teacher? I don't think I ever have do what. What's it like? do what... Interesting comparison. Would you like to know? Try it.
Me:
Sorry god, I've got you a bit hot under the collar, I can tell. I don't have a teacher, I have a boyfriend. 'It' is pretty awesome
God:
There is no need to apologize. I am a Christian. Are you sure it is?
Me:
Yeah totally, you should give it a shot. Is there a lady God you can ride?
God:
I believe there is one, yes. I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Cool.
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
The one in that TV show Small Wonder. It was a little girl robot.
God:
I can't believe you think the one in that TV show Small Wonder is better than God. Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Me:
What? I never said that! Are we fighting?! Jesus!
God:
No problem. But you implied it. We are just having a little chat.w. Jesus is the Son of God.
Me:
Do you mind me taking his name in vain?
God:
No I don't mind.
Me:
That's pretty cool of you.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
Fucking brilliant. I way prefer talking to an automated God than posting on Thumped.

 

[broken arm]

Re: My Conversations With God.

http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
Fucking brilliant. I way prefer talking to an automated God than posting on Thumped.

Me:
hey there fuckface
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
what were you up to last
God:
I was minding my own business.
Me:
are you a capitalist?
God:
Yes I believe in the assumptions of a capitalist economy.