Alcohol support (1 Viewer)

[zero_hero]

I have a friend come recently to me tell me he's drinking way too much and thinks he has a problem. personally I would never have thought this but he does binge drink for a week or two (including missing work) and then he is off it for months.

He wants my help but I have no idea what to do. I know the doctor is first port of call (well all I can think of anyways), he's not gone on the idea of AA meetings. Is there anything else to deal with these type of thing?

Or what do you say to people in this situation? I want to keep things normal but do something too

 

[rettucs]

doesn't sound to me that they have much of a problem. Just tell them not to binge drink.

might not sound so helpful but if they're capable of staying off it for long periods of time then its not like they're developing any kind of dependency on it. They just need to learn how to practice moderation when they do go out.

 

[Franco]

How is his mental health?

Bi-polar / manic depressives regularly go on wild benders, and then can keep it calm for months at a go.

Obviously i don't know the guy, so if i'm just jumping to mad conclusions, my bad.

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

I have a friend come recently to me tell me he's drinking way too much and thinks he has a problem. personally I would never have thought this but he does binge drink for a week or two (including missing work) and then he is off it for months.

He wants my help but I have no idea what to do. I know the doctor is first port of call (well all I can think of anyways), he's not gone on the idea of AA meetings. Is there anything else to deal with these type of thing?

Or what do you say to people in this situation? I want to keep things normal but do something too

Alcohol is a problem if it is causing problems in other areas of your life - e.g. missing work.

People don't come to their friends with non-problems either, the very fact you're talking about this guy's drinking would imply he has a problem. The bingeing 'for weeks' and abstinence periods indicate a person trying, and failing, to deal with the fact that their life is unmanageable with alcohol.

Aside from advising him to see his doctor and go to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, there's not much you can do besides support him in his efforts to stay sober.

As an alcoholic he needs help, but you can't give it to him.
Alcoholics Anonymous will provide him with the program, network and support he needs. It's what they do.

You should also expect this problem to get worse before it gets better.

 

[classic seanc]

How do your friends’ hangovers feel? Does he get The Fear?
If he does then that’s gonna freak him out and make him think he’s got a real “problem”*.

But the problem might mainly be to do with moderation and somewhat to do with handling stress better. Obviously, missing work then coming back and having to catch up on everything while having a hangover is not going to help one’s stress levels, so he freaks out more and you get that downward spiral of The Fear.

Also, does he take other drugs with the alcohol? That’s going to exacerbate the situation.

*Problem is a funny word. Obviously, as has been said, he does have a problem with alcohol. He's said so. That doesn't mean that he's going to end up in the gutter necessarily. There are degrees of "problem".

 

[ITalkShite]

Switching to heroin has the benefit of consistency

 

[egg_]

People don't come to their friends with non-problems either, the very fact you're talking about this guy's drinking would imply he has a problem.

Absolutely. If he says he has a problem then he has

Get him to visit the doctor first anyway, and call AA yourself and ask their advice

 

[zero_hero]

I'm working on the doctor. It's a slow process that my gut feeling is saying not to force. I guess I'm so new to this myself that I can't help thinking there must be more that I can do. But it's probably me just wanting to help him, but he needs to do it himself.

He's not taking any other drugs yet anyways. Work is stressing him out no end but he's in the process of selling off his business for a healthy profit which is why I'm also concern with getting him some help. Money and boredom with alcohol issues spells trouble immediately!!!

 

[azezelo]

GP is a good suggestion. An enlightened GP would suggest a visit to a counselling service that specializes in addiction/substance misuse.
AA, while beneficial for some, is not necessarily the way to go for everyone. Abstinence isn't working for your friend at the moment. Working with a good counsellor could be helpful for your friend in identifying underlying causes / trigger factors. They might also look at ways in which your friend could control or manage his drinking, rather than remaining stuck in the abstinence/binge cycle.
It's really positive that he's identified there's a problem. It's important to act on that recognition while he has the motivation.
Best of luck!

 

[The Schnapper]

Most communities have drug/alcohol clinics and alot of them don't advertise too well.

 

[Bren.Manazo]

This is an area which unfortunately I have some experience in.
What Iv found is that its often not necassarily the amount that people drink thats the problem but the effect it has on them.
We usually associate alcohol problems with its physical manifestations but for many individuals its the mental aspects (the unseens aspects, often untill its to late) that can cause the most damage.

If your friend thinks he has a problem then he has, its that simple!
What can you do to help?

1. Your already doing it by being a friend.
2. Bring/get him to see his gp.
3. BUT also get get him some AA literature (he can then make his own informed decision as to whether it is the right way forward for him).

Ultimately its his decision as to his next step but its not a good idea to try to convince him he hasnt a problem if he thinks he has.

I wish you all the best with your friend.

I have a friend come recently to me tell me he's drinking way too much and thinks he has a problem. personally I would never have thought this but he does binge drink for a week or two (including missing work) and then he is off it for months.

He wants my help but I have no idea what to do. I know the doctor is first port of call (well all I can think of anyways), he's not gone on the idea of AA meetings. Is there anything else to deal with these type of thing?

Or what do you say to people in this situation? I want to keep things normal but do something too

 

[Buzzo]

GP is a good suggestion. An enlightened GP would suggest a visit to a counselling service that specializes in addiction/substance misuse.
AA, while beneficial for some, is not necessarily the way to go for everyone. Abstinence isn't working for your friend at the moment. Working with a good counsellor could be helpful for your friend in identifying underlying causes / trigger factors. They might also look at ways in which your friend could control or manage his drinking, rather than remaining stuck in the abstinence/binge cycle.
It's really positive that he's identified there's a problem. It's important to act on that recognition while he has the motivation.
Best of luck!

This is an area which unfortunately I have some experience in.
What Iv found is that its often not necassarily the amount that people drink thats the problem but the effect it has on them.
We usually associate alcohol problems with its physical manifestations but for many individuals its the mental aspects (the unseens aspects, often untill its to late) that can cause the most damage.

If your friend thinks he has a problem then he has, its that simple!
What can you do to help?

1. Your already doing it by being a friend.
2. Bring/get him to see his gp.
3. BUT also get get him some AA literature (he can then make his own informed decision as to whether it is the right way forward for him).

Ultimately its his decision as to his next step but its not a good idea to try to convince him he hasnt a problem if he thinks he has.

I wish you all the best with your friend.

I don't know a huge amount about it from a first hand perspective, but I do work with people in addiction and the advise on this thread, specially what thems said above, makes a lot of sense to me. Your mate doesn't seem to have a chemical/physical addiction, but he clearly needs support. It's so awesome that he came to you, and you really seem to care what's happenin for him, so that's half his (and your) battle won right there- a willingness to address it and support.

AA is amazin and works for lots of people, but the religious aspect can really put people off. If your mate is ok financially then getting access to support shouldn't be a problem. If you wanna drop me a pm I can give you more specific info if you need it.

 

[Froog]

AA is amazin and works for lots of people, but the religious aspect can really put people off.

there's a religious element in AA?

 

[Froog]

4.10 am buzzo? maybe you have a drinking problem too!

 

[Buzzo]

The 12 Steps Of Alcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and practice these principles in all our affairs.

 

[zero_hero]

there's a religious element in AA?

I didn't realise that either. Thanks for point that out. He's incredibly conscious of someone finding out in Ireland so we've decided to say we're going on a lads holiday and I'll go with him to a clinic I found in England. however it'll be a start

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

I didn't realise that either. Thanks for point that out. He's incredibly conscious of someone finding out in Ireland so we've decided to say we're going on a lads holiday and I'll go with him to a clinic I found in England. however it'll be a start

Is he famous or something?
Being an alcoholic is nothing to be ashamed of.
Anyways, people take the anonymity part pretty seriously.

And the program is not religious, it just requires belief in a power greater than yourself or any God as you understand it. That can be Jesus, love, your own self-belief or whatever you're having yourself.
The absolute one and only requirement for Alcoholics Anonymous is a desire to stop drinking. That's it.

 

[Froog]

The 12 Steps Of Alcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and practice these principles in all our affairs.

amazing, never knew.

 

[Buzzo]

Is he famous or something?
Being an alcoholic is nothing to be ashamed of.
Anyways, people take the anonymity part pretty seriously.

And the program is not religious, it just requires belief in a power greater than yourself or any God as you understand it. That can be Jesus, love, your own self-belief or whatever you're having yourself.
The absolute one and only requirement for Alcoholics Anonymous is a desire to stop drinking. That's it.

To qualify what I said, or reiterate, AA and NA do incredible things for people and I would never take that away, but it doesn't work for everyone, and I would find the whole thing v. difficult to digest personally.. but I don't have a drug or alcohol problem so I'm not in a position to say what I'd do if I did. I know people who have recovered from addiction without the help of AA/NA so it's not the only option, even if it is the most obvious one.

 

[Scientician 0.8]

I was gonna suggest he emigrate somewhere where booze isn't the be-all-and-end-all of social life.