Adventures on the cutting edge of wokeness (1 Viewer)

egg_

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I work for a very well-known San Francisco based non-profit (please don't say who it is, don't want this post to be too easily findable), which means I'm at the very epicentre of wokeness.

I'm 100% remote, but there are a few in-person events every year. If it's mostly Europeans (or just non-North-Americans) I'm grand, but with the Yanks I'm terrified I'm gonna put a foot wrong. Example - in Minneapolis last week I got called out for asking a waitress in a bar for 'a random beer'. Turns out that's putting emotional labour on her because I'm asking her to choose for me. I think I handled it ok - didn't get defensive, just said "ok" and moved on (and did the same when it was brought up again the following day)

Is this how our parents felt when they realised the stuff they took for granted wasn't acceptable anymore? I feel like I no longer know the rules of the social game. Any advice?
 

GARYXKNIFEDX

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Example - in Minneapolis last week I got called out for asking a waitress in a bar for 'a random beer'. Turns out that's putting emotional labour on her because I'm asking her to choose for me.
I would only see a problem in that if you started giving out that the one she chose was crap.
If you didn't like it,but accepted you gave the choice to someone else,order another and move on.
Which I presume is exactly what you would have done.
 

egg_

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Ah yes, I can see how that'd be a problem. Maybe that's where the guy was coming from - Americans being so much more inclined to complain about what they've been served than us, maybe that's what he thought I'd do. Hmmm

(the beer, incidentally, was mank, and it never even crossed my mind to complain)
 

ann post

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They sound like dicks. In a tip generating environment like MN a waitress doing you a solid is gonna be paid back in the tip. Its just labor and one of you work in a bar and know what generic dudes in for a social are drinking day to day.

WHOOOwwwEVVER

My experience with america is that a large number of people work in service industry in late/teens college and for that there is a seam of personality that permeates the US which is trying to out-nice everyone as if they are a customer, which in my crude dealings with people would a passive aggressive stance but is totally the norm in the new world. That said, i had tone down my sense of humour between donegal and galway just because people were a bit more literal. Not sure if this is advice, other than a means of perception
 

flashback

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Wouldn't be getting too worried about it.

Fierce numbers of lunatics over here. Life's too short to be getting worried about offending people with this sort of ridiculousness.

She works in a bar, it's completely reasonable to ask her for a recommendation. She's being a dickhead.
 

pete

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I work for a very well-known San Francisco based non-profit (please don't say who it is, don't want this post to be too easily findable), which means I'm at the very epicentre of wokeness.

I'm 100% remote, but there are a few in-person events every year. If it's mostly Europeans (or just non-North-Americans) I'm grand, but with the Yanks I'm terrified I'm gonna put a foot wrong. Example - in Minneapolis last week I got called out for asking a waitress in a bar for 'a random beer'. Turns out that's putting emotional labour on her because I'm asking her to choose for me. I think I handled it ok - didn't get defensive, just said "ok" and moved on (and did the same when it was brought up again the following day)

Is this how our parents felt when they realised the stuff they took for granted wasn't acceptable anymore? I feel like I no longer know the rules of the social game. Any advice?
And how did they react when you told them to get fucked?
 

flashback

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I didn't get the impression it was the waitress who was complaining about this.

Oh, wait, his drinking buddies told him that asking for a recommendation was a dick move? I'm getting less bright by the hour.

Anyone that thinks this hasn't worked in service. It's literally your fucking job to have some idea about what you're serving.

If you're hanging around with agonising cunts for work, well, that's bad. But there's no need to hang around with agonising cunts when you're having a drink.
 

therealjohnny

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I once went into a bar in Dublin and said "give me a beer" like they do in the movies. The barman just looked at me and gestured at the taps.
 

hiadudiad?

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It used to be that "pint of beer" would get you a pint of Smithwicks. Or it did in Mullingar anyway. Now you have to include your choice of red, green or yellow Smithwicks.
 

ann post

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I once went into a bar in Dublin and said "give me a beer" like they do in the movies. The barman just looked at me and gestured at the taps.
I kinda do that but more in a defensive manner. Most of the bars i be in are trying to upsell whatever craft beer they have in, making a clear introductory 'i don't need the beer spiel' introduction saves time for me and the staff
 

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