What movie did you watch last night? (7 Viewers)

[washingcattle]

Olympus Has Fallen.

Gerard Butler is the president's bodyguard, and has to go and rescue him after terrorists attack the White House.

This film is Under Siege, in the White House. It looks like it's been made for people that might not have seen Under Siege. Naturally, the film is fucking ludicrous, which is what you want. It's not quite ludicrous enough in the right ways though, like Under Siege. Gerard Butler is grand, I'd say he good a decent pay check for this one. He doesn't say Sparta though. Morgan Freeman also turns up as the next in command when the President and Vice-President are taken hostage.
This film is amusing if you want to watch a total piece of shit for a couple of hours, and you want to see lots of people getting shot and some stuff getting blown up. Good for me, in other words. This film would definitely have been better if Harrison Ford had played the President, and shouted "MY WIFE!" at some point.
Oh, the terrorists turn out to be North Korean or something. Very topical.

What it has (plus points):
Gerard Butler shooting/beatingup/shoutingat people
Morgan Freeman looking bemused
Loads of people die
The Secretary Of State gets kicked around lots
The actual attack on the White House is quite fun

What it doesn't have (minus points):
Gary Busey being completely mental
Colm Meaney being a Meaney
Tommy Lee Jones being a hippy
Steven Seagal waving his arms around and talking quietly
The Under Siege sound track
Erika Eleniak bursting out of a cake with no top on (major minus point)

Conclusion:
This film is shite, which is to be expected, but it is nowhere near as amazingly shite as Under Siege. I might just watch Under Siege again tomorrow.

You've raised the bar for all of us.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

The Legend of Hell House. A group of mediums investigate a haunted house. The dialogue and acting are fairly rope but the sets are impressive and it's fairly atmospheric.

O Brother Where Art Thou? I love this film. It's a joy to watch.

 

[Jim Daniels]

Went to see Mud in the Light House. Full house.

It was great. Over two hours long, but you wouldn't feel it.
Glad it was just 12A - kept it relatively honest....

 

[Cormcolash]

Saw Star Trek the other day. Thought it was boring.
Unlike Mr.Parx, who loved it, basically:

The bad guy was pretty good
Karl Urban is still the best thing about it
That blonde one is hot
Leonard Nimoy was in it
It was fairly nice visually

That's the plus points out of the way. Now...

The dialogue was fucking grim
The plot was pointless/virtually nonexistent
There were about 500000000 plot holes/things that don't make any sense at all (basically, it appears the Klingon Home World is about 2 hours away from Earth at any kind of warp speed)
The music is boring (okay theme, until you hear it 6000 times)
The dialogue is so shit
Kirk is a dick. Bring back Shatner. Actually, Kirk was always a dick really, but at least Shatner was hilarious.

Pure and simple, this is a Bro film made in space. Like, this will be really cool, bro. Oh great, you're a good bro. Hey, check out that chick, she's hot, bro. Let's have a fight, bro. No girls allowed, bro.
It's the complete opposite of all the good things about Star Trek, basically. Karl Urban is the only one that actually gets it right.

Aside from that, entertaining enough as a visual spectacle if, like me, your brain deliberately does this after 2 minutes

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[hydromancer]

I will watch that Eternal Sunshine tonight then. Saw Revenge Of The Nerds last night ,Great film (not that I condone nerds!) Saw a little bit of Humanoids From The Deep looks very good water horror, On netflix.

 

[hydromancer]

Reveiw of Star Trek
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/filmblog/2013/may/13/star-trek-into-darkness-goes-too-boldly

 

[Cormcolash]

Saw Mud yesterday. It is dead good alright. Sam Shephard is in it. I met Sam Shephard last year. That was a bit weird.

 

[Unicron]

Saw the new Star Trek last night, aside from a middle sequence

Spoiler

The part on Kronos followed by the assault on Robocop's starship

I didn't think it was great, too reverent towards the canon

Spoiler

As soon as the big reveal happened it became very predictable and I'm not much of an ST fan.

It's a shame because the first film in this current reboot was very good.

 

[Cormcolash]

Hahaha oh shit, that was actually Peter Weller??? Didn't even click that before! Added comedy value!!!

 

[Cormcolash]

The Place Beyond The Pines - This was pretty good, but a bit overlong I thought. Ray Liotta was amazing.

The Reluctant Fundamentalist - This was good, quite thought-provoking, and Jack Bauer is in it.

Haha good reviews there.

Okay, TPBTP - not gonna bother going over it, I imagine someone else already has.

The Reluctant Fundamentalist - a young Pakistani goes to America to go to college, ends up working for a big money/valuation firm in New York. 2001 kicks off, he starts getting racist abuse etc. But his job is also to go round the world firing people, so he's not above criticism. Goes back to visit Pakistan, gets his eyes opened up a bit. Does he become a terrorist?
The story is told against the background of an American professor being kidnapped in Pakistan, with a reporter asking the Pakistani lad questions to try and figure out if he was involved.
It's good stuff really.

 

[hermie]

The Reluctant Fundamentalist - a young Pakistani goes to America to go to college, ends up working for a big money/valuation firm in New York. 2001 kicks off, he starts getting racist abuse etc. But his job is also to go round the world firing people, so he's not above criticism. Goes back to visit Pakistan, gets his eyes opened up a bit. Does he become a terrorist?
The story is told against the background of an American professor being kidnapped in Pakistan, with a reporter asking the Pakistani lad questions to try and figure out if he was involved.
It's good stuff really.

The book was quite annoying but mainly because of the irritating conversational style it was written in which was all rather forced. The story is quite good though so I could imagine the film being better. Kiefer plays his boss then?

 

[Cormcolash]

Yeah Jack Bauer is his boss

 

[hermie]

Fog of War for about the millionth time. Never get bored of it.

 

[Ferox13]

Went to see Mud in the Light House. Full house.

It was great. Over two hours long, but you wouldn't feel it.
Glad it was just 12A - kept it relatively honest....

Totally agree - some great acting from the kids and I enjoyed Michael Shannon's cameo.

Hangover III:

I should have know better, really I should. Not even John Goodman can save this comedy without jokes.
Ok - I did smirk a bit at Chows antics and I did laugh out loud at the Monster University trailer at the start.

 

[nlgbbbblth]

Death Proof. Awesome.

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[Cormcolash]

The Hangover III.

Oh wait actually, the first one was completely shit, so there's no way in hell I'd go to see the second, let alone the third.

 

[hermie]

Total Recall w/Colin Farrell. Embarrassing

 

[washingcattle]

End Of Watch

I am a film critic. I explore the thin line between good and bad. If your film finds me and it's utter shite. I will write about it, if you don't put the effort in or if you simply don't have any talent to begin with I will write about it. I will piss and moan as hard and as publicly as possible so that I get my point across to as many people as I can. And why do I do this ? I do it for the people, I do it because it's what I was born to do and.......well...... because I'm a pissy moaner with nothing else to do.

End Of Watch has one of those by the numbers names, like Brooklyns Finest or Narc which just lets you know it's a typical police thriller where the good guys do mans work and the bad guys are truly reprehensible folks who don't deserve the air in their lungs and won't have any by the time the credits roll. It opens with one of those voice overs like the passage above which lets you know right off the bat that this film means business, it's a mans film about men that do men stuff like shooting bad guys and looking after the moral majority by enforcing the law with their every single breath. and did I yawn ? Yes I fucking did.

End Of Watch is aimed squarely at the late teen early 20s audience. It uses the device of having the main character played by Jake Gylenhaal carry around a HD digital camera to document his daily routine as a tough LA cop of course it's not just any HD camera though, oh no it's a Sony camera, do not mistake it with anything else it is Sony. You better not mistake it for any other camera because I'm pretty sure Sony paid for half the fucking production costs. And remember kids if you are going to make a film about your life as a tough LA cop the only camera to choose is S O N Y!!!!

Jake and partner Michael Pena are tough cops who shoot people, (Yay) mainly Mexicans, but not good Mexicans like Pena himself of course not. Bad Mexicans. The ones who have more guns than sense and seem to be rolling in cash.

The use of the hand held camera (which by the way is made by S O N Y !!!!) means that director David Ayer, who wrote Training Day and directed the uber intense - watch Christian Bale go Beast Mode- drama Harsh Times has ample oppertunity to use odd camera angles and to edit roughly every second and a half. Unfortunately he only employs the first person approach as a side and realistically it never really goes anywhere, leaving you to wonder why it's in there in the first place. The cops carry cameras and film their day to day, the criminals do the same but since the footage only appears as an occasional machination rather than the main strategy it doesn't totally work and unfortunately it's one of the many aspects the film which really deseves to be in a better movie - not that this is a bad movie, it isn't. Gylenhaal and Pena drive around getting into fights with gang members discussing their love lives and generally being tough tough cops, heroic tough cops. Both the lead performances are strong and there is a strong chemistry between the two leads which again, deserves to be in a better movie or at least they deserve better than having to wade through as much cliched dialogue. All of this is of course boring as fuck and I was one second away from giving up and doing something more stimulating like reading a Roy Keane biography when something unexpected happened
The film shifts gear and without wanting to give away much of the extremely manipulating plot, the tone and content shifts toward something which you do not expect to find in a film which would seem to such low expectations of it's self. Suddenly it becomes more akin to a horror film or extremely seedy noir as our heroes (and make no mistake heroes only use S O N Y!!!) move through more and more ugliness to eventually arrive at the enevitable violent showdown. The rapid fire editing and the HD found footage look starts to work to the films advantage and amid all the cliches there is just enough ugliness to keep the whole thing vaguely interesting. So after the balls to the wall, gun gun shoot shoot and the endless bromance between Gylenhaal and Pena there is a film in here about the horrors of inner city criminality and the cheapness with which lives are taken or destroyed by the drug trade in a what is essentially a frontier American city seperated from the third world by a chain link fence. Perhaps the film makers should have watched Apocolypse Now a few more times and decided to make a great movie very few people would sit through instead of making a half way decent one which was I'm sure a huge box office hit. While this isn't a film interested with dealing with the wider social issues it is one which shamelessly takes the headlines from the south and places a very white and very American context. In doing so the accusation could be that this is a case of simple exploitation but it's far more possible that the films lasting effect is to convey horror as horror, rather than to relegate the issue to a "Mexican" horror. Unfortunately it does have one eye on the popcorn sales. As a result there is a "message" in here but it's muddled by the hail of bullets and the general lack of ambition. I can't remember who said it but there is a quote that goes around about Hollywood which goes something along the lines of "if you want to make a film about an issue, no matter what that is make sure that there's a white boy centre frame"

Better than I had imagined it would be and with a more interesting social background than I ever would have thought possible in a film of this ilk. It's fine passable cop stuff which could have been brilliant if the film makers had a lot more ambition. The type of thing I wish I had seen when I was in it's key age demographic.

P.S Fucking Buy S O N Y Bro!!!

 

[washingcattle]

A Place beyond The Pines

Oh isn't he gorgeous ? Just look at him there, Swoon!!!! he's dreamy. And maybe a little wild, but who could tame him, oh my. Yes it's Ryan Gosling again and no there won't be a dry seat in the house because he's playing a bad boy. Tattoos and a leather jacket, yes prepare to have that pocket ottered ladies.

Is he any good though ? Well yeah he is in a way but in another way doesn't he just play the exact same character in every movie ? He mumbles he broods and he flies off the handle from time to time and that seems to be his schtick right. Here Gosling plays a loner biker who gets into doing some shameful shit because he finds out he has a baby. (yes ladies he even holds a fucking baby!!!! Swooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon faint etc) Don't get me wrong this schtick certainly suits the role he's playing and he does a convincing enough job. But the real acting clout here is provided by Bradly Cooper. Cooper has the much harder role. A character which begins likable and becomes less so as the film progresses. Cooper manages the near impossible, he somehow imbues this man with the kind of ambitious arrogance which drives the film forward while still managing to portray him as a real human being and not completely unsympathetic. Often at the centre of a film like this there is a character who holds the film together. They have to remain under pressure, with their fears internalised and though the real acting fireworks get set off by the more stirring fraught performances by cast around them they have to make the central figure believable and engaging enough for the film to work, without overplaying the role and overawing the louder characters at the films fringes. Or worse underplaying it and coming across as boring. Think of him as the holding midfielder. A good example of this role and how it can seem unexciting is how Marc Wahlberg plays the lead in The Fighter. Amongst one of the most dysfunctional families ever portrayed on screen Wahlberg did a fine job disappearing into the foreground and allowing most of the cast to walk off with Oscars. Here Cooper gets a lot of screen time but his central performance is most memorable for the fact that the central figure is dislikable but at least real.

Derek Cianfrance is making a name for himself as an actors director. The performances are absolutely brilliant throughout. Cooper is the stand out to us critic types and of course Gosling will probably have another zero pasted into his next pay check for his performance here, as it is good to be fair. It's the smaller roles where Cianfrances directorial methods seem most impressive. Ben Mendlesohn is excellent as a down and out mechanic, although he seems to be hollywoods go to guy for that role these days. Eva Mendes is also great as a dowdy (yes Eva Mendes = Dowdy !!!) mother who can't seem to afford bras. Emory Cohen is near perfect as a completely disgusting privledged teenager who really gets under every cell of your skin and Dane Dehann is great also as the sort of loner teenager that will probably grow up to write film reviews on message boards at 4 AM. And then there's Ray Liotta who steals the show with a performance so slimey you'll feel dirty just looking at him. Unfortunately He's under used in a role that could have added an undercurrent of filthy dread. The small town setting with it's mix of privledge and poverty is well used and the tone and pacing suits the film in creating both forboading and menace. In many ways it's similar to Bullhead or Revanche from europe or Frozen River or Winters Bone from the dirty poor of America. There are also a few directorial flourishes, turning bank robbery into a sort of frenzy of adrenaline of kinetic extreme sport is excellent and basically this is a very good film.

But here's the rub. While Cianfrance is a great actors director and the performances are uniformly excellent, he isn't quite up to the task of presenting a "crime" film. The great directors of that particular genre like Tarantino or Scorsese or even Peckempah or Wells for example know that the story has to take the reigns of the film and keep the audience on or as near as possible to the edge of their seat. To this end Scorsese and Tarantino occasionally structure their films in such a way as to keep the audience guessing. The first scene in Goodfellas for example is actually a pivotal point from the middle of the story. Scorsese just yanks it out, in the process he tears up the rules so to speak and the result is something quite brilliant. Tarantino took this even further by structuring his films as novels and up that worked too until film makers in the late 90s started doing this en mass and ruined it's appeal and effectiveness. Whatever way it's structured crime films have to have a building of tension throughout. Cianfrances film suffers because it's structure is too straight too linear and as such it becomes a little predictable and much of the early promise and tension dissipates too soon. Liottas small role in the film is endemic of Cianfrances adherence to a sort of cinematic rule book. While showing more of Liotta might have deviated from the films first person narrative, it's undeniable that the scenes which feature him add just the kind of tension that's lacking from the films middle section. What's worse is that this story, which is really three short stories which themselves have tree acts, feels fragmented so you can feel the peaks and troughs go by. Most of the peaks are at the beginning of the film and this contains the best moments of tension and of release. Unfortunately once this initial engrossement peters out and there is space for the characters and performances to shine the film falls a little flat and it seems overly long even though it really doesn't deviate from its very deliberate pace. The result is that the middle of the film feels protracted and while the end has the same kind of tension it really doesn't reach the same heights it's earlier glory.

If A Place Beyond the Pines had been directed and edited by Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu the man behind 21 Grammes and Amores Peros for example or if Cianfrance had a bit more "crime" experience this crime drama might have been structured differently and may have been a classic. As it is and as uneven as it is, it's still excellent and well worth a look. Especially if you own a vagina.

Apparently.

 

[Unicron]

End Of Watch

Actually felt nauseous watching that film, that hand held bullshit.