the dumb things you do (1 Viewer)

[RSJ]

I got stabbed on the way to Metalwork class

Come again?

 

[classic seanc]

I'm a bit distracted at the moment and today put a chicken in the oven without taking off the elasticy bit holding its legs together.

But thats grand no? Otherwise it'll fall apart in a big messy mess.

I meant to work late yesterday. Forgot that I meant to do that. And then because of other things I didn't get home till have seven anyway. All I got for my troubles was abuse off a bunch of scummy kids and a yet larger number of hours owed to work. do'h

 

[Yurn!]

Put €200 in an envelope.

Put stamp on envelope.

Put envelope in postbox.

Didn't put address on envelope.

Didn't realise til days later.

Didn't see money or envelope again.

 

[Anthony]

I'm a bit distracted at the moment and today put a chicken in the oven without taking off the elasticy bit holding its legs together.

the other day I walked off from the check in desk in heathrow without taking mine and stans passports (strictly speaking not my fault REALLY as the bad tempered bitch checking us in didn't give them back)

2 days before that walked away from the origins counter in dublin airport after dropping 78 quid on moisturiser WITHOUT THE BAG

have walked off from 2 ATMs recently without collecting my cash

plus probably a few more incidents of stupidity. I really must stop waking around with my head in the clouds.

edit - I'm about to have a bath, I sure do hope I don't drown

are you preggers?

 

[clonan attack]

Put €200 in an envelope.

Put stamp on envelope.

Put envelope in postbox.

Didn't put address on envelope.

Didn't realise til days later.

Didn't see money or envelope again.

this wins for me so far. you fucking idiot!

no, i didn't turn on the dishwasher.

 

[krystal]

are you preggers?

nope!

 

[krystal]

nope!

and if I am, I've been REALLY fucking forgetful

 

[freddienonose]

I was cooking - making, whatever - some popcorn in my ma's house there a few years ago. When the popcorn was made, I picked up the pot in my hand then realised that I hadn't got any bowls. Looking around for somewhere to put the pot while I got the bowls, I decided the floor would be grand.

The lino floor. Man, was I surprised when the fucker wouldn't come back up.

Again in my ma's house (my poor ma), I decided to make myself a bit of steak, slice up some onions, throw them in the pan. You know yourself.

Anyway, there I am cooking away happily when my brother comes in. "What the jaysis are you doing?" I tell him I'm cooking a bit of steak. "And what else have you got in the pan?" Just a bit of onion, I tell him. Six pieces. "Pieces of onion?" he says "Show me the onion". I pick it up off the counter and show it to him, wondering what the hell his problem is.

"That's not an onion," says he. "That's garlic." Then he opened the windows.

I'm not allowed in the ma's kitchen anymore.

 

[c0De_n1NjA]

are you preggers?

i know a guy who spelt galway wrong in his avatar once. what a dah brain!

 

[Corey]

I have a tiny tatoo on my hand from slamming a pen top closed when it was actually on the other side of the pen. S'grand though, even my mistakes are fucking amazing, look:

 

[Mitchum]

Starting a new job many years back I decided to have a crafty smoke in the toilets before my gaffer gave me 'the guided tour. So there I was, smoke in one hand, cock in the other & having a slash. Didn't the toilet lid by it's own volition fall forward...and instead of me trying to catch it with my cigarette hand I let go of my flute instead & grabbed the toilet-lid...thus pissing all over my beautiful new pair of Penney's slacks. On my first day.

 

[Diddles]

Bored at the back of the lab class one day, myself and a mate started taking bottles off the shelves and pouring chemicals into the sink to see if there would be any interesting chemical reactions. 5 minutes later and sink is full of chemicals. No reaction. Very boring.

Threw a match in. Kaboom!!!!!! Whole sink blows out and part of the drain as well.

 

[freddienonose]

Bored at the back of the lab class one day, myself and a mate started taking bottles off the shelves and pouring chemicals into the sink to see if there would be any interesting chemical reactions. 5 minutes later and sink is full of chemicals. No reaction. Very boring.

Threw a match in. Kaboom!!!!!! Whole sink blows out and part of the drain as well.

God I miss that class.

We used to chuck a load of mercury on the floor before the class started and then watch the teacher try to pick it up for the entire forty-minute duration, swearing and blustering all the way. Still the funniest thing I've ever seen.

 

[Lord Damian]

Bored at the back of the lab class one day, myself and a mate started taking bottles off the shelves and pouring chemicals into the sink to see if there would be any interesting chemical reactions. 5 minutes later and sink is full of chemicals. No reaction. Very boring.

Threw a match in. Kaboom!!!!!! Whole sink blows out and part of the drain as well.

God I miss that class.

We used to chuck a load of mercury on the floor before the class started and then watch the teacher try to pick it up for the entire forty-minute duration, swearing and blustering all the way. Still the funniest thing I've ever seen.

reminds me of my own chemistry class back in school...why they let retards like me handle dangerous chemicals i've never been able to figure out.

in the same class, i remember sticking the two ends of an unfolded paper clip into a power socket at one of the lab 'islands'...shorted out the whole room. lucky the teach wasn't there at the time...the thing is i was holding the clip with a bit of folded up paper. not my brightest moment.

 

[ernesto]

Yeah, Hermie told Nate and me that story after you left The Lower Deck a few weeks ago Great story though.

Dumbest thing I've done recently was try to force the plunger down in one of those coffee pots and cover my right arm in scalding hot coffee. That was a couple of months ago and I still have a bit of a scar.

that bastard. ill get him.

 

[flashback]

yeah... a couple of lads robbed a load of sodium and or potassium out of the lab, wrapped it in waxy paper, and flushed it down the jacks.
And legged it.
After a few minutes, when the waxed paper parcels were making their way through the sewers, the water seeped into the sodium... and basically blew up the B corridor.
It was sort of a crump boooOOOOM splash noise.
Relatively impressive.

I think the same lads also hijacked the school announcement PA system, and wired in a pre-recorded load of announcements slating the teachers. It was actually extremely well done.

I think in both of these instances Jonathan Philbin Bowman was the man at the helm. He certainly got suspended from school about that time. Honestly... going to the same school as that lad perked up my life no end.
He had panache. I will give him that.

 

[mackle]

A few weeks ago while a bit drunk and sotned I was trying to open a beer bottle nad somehow in the process right on the bend in my finger tore a nice big lump of skin out on the lid which kept opening for a few weeks. Now I have a scar there probably for good.

Oh and the other day on the bus to school I was in a daydream kinda and wasnt paying attention to what I was doing and where my hands were going and poked some girl in the eye. Woops!
​

 

[c0De_n1NjA]

A few weeks ago while a bit drunk and sotned I was trying to open a beer bottle nad somehow in the process right on the bend in my finger tore a nice big lump of skin out on the lid which kept opening for a few weeks. Now I have a scar there probably for good.​

Oh and the other day on the bus to school I was in a daydream kinda and wasnt paying attention to what I was doing and where my hands were going and poked some girl in the eye. Woops!​

did you PROD her in the eye?

 

[c0De_n1NjA]

chuckle ar la!

 

[Corey]

big lump of skin out on the lid which kept opening for a few weeks.
​

You're drunk right now. I can tell.