Staying friends with an ex (1 Viewer)

[Reets]

A lot of people here seem to have managed to stay friends with their ex's, is there a knack to it or just a lot of hard work?
I've been friends with a guy since we broke up over two years ago but it's been really difficult. We get on well until he starts wanting to be more then friends, we both realise quickly that it wont work out and go back to normal again but it still takes a while to get over it, as soon as I do and or starting to get close to someone else, it starts again.
Don't want to lose him as he's so great to be around but it's a lot of stress I can do without.

 

[ann post]

its terribly hard work. unless they turned lesbian, then its the height of entertainment. ..the real problem (i was just having this very discussion over a bottle o something lastnight) is that echo's of the cross dependence on each other are actually a hindrance to either party moving on to greener pastures. the best friend either party can be is the friend that lets them move on.

 

[7 - No tomorrow]

A lot of people here seem to have managed to stay friends with their ex's, is there a knack to it or just a lot of hard work?
I've been friends with a guy since we broke up over two years ago but it's been really difficult. We get on well until he starts wanting to be more then friends, we both realise quickly that it wont work out and go back to normal again but it still takes a while to get over it, as soon as I do and or starting to get close to someone else, it starts again.
Don't want to lose him as he's so great to be around but it's a lot of stress I can do without.

It only works if you're a guy, I've found.

 

[Froog]

i can understand being friendly with an ex so there's no awkwardness at parties with mutual friends etc. but don't understand people who want to go out for dinner with them and call/text them and shit. why bother like? just makes it harder for one or both.

 

[sarah]

I reckon you can still stay friendly with them, but heading out to parties together or even the pub, isn't possible for a while. reckon both need to hook up with others and be at a couple of relationship removes, before you can start doing hanging out in pubs and at parties and stuff, without one of you's feeling bad. i.e. once you've both properly moved on from the relationship, can take one person way longer than the other.

 

[Squiggle]

It only works well where both parties are satisfied with just being friends. If there are lingering romantic feelings on either side it's difficult, and not fair on the one still carrying a torch.

 

[Thebeard]

I reckon it only makes things worse remaining close friends. You need to be apart for a long time to get a good run at being apart, otherwise the feelings won't fade as they should by being apart.

 

[Kid Lovebeach]

i hope my ex reads this thread sometime.

 

[David Kronenbourg]

thumped has become one huge "dear marjorie..."

 

[FiFi_LaRue]

It only works well where both parties are satisfied with just being friends. If there are lingering romantic feelings on either side it's difficult, and not fair on the one still carrying a torch.

Agreed, also agree with morg.

I think it depends on several factors. Like how the relationship ended and why, have either/both still got romantic intentions etc. I'm friends with a couple of exes, but only managed that after sufficient time passed and we'd moved on enough. I also know there are one, or two I could never ever talk to again.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

thumped has become one huge "dear marjorie..."

This is the coup of the thread.
A very popular theme, the staying friends with an ex theme has become.
I wrote that sentence backwards.
WB Yeats remained friendly with numerous exes.

 

[ann post]

i knew some girl who swore by the motto 'the only way to get over somebody is to get under somebody'

 

[Jill Hives]

This is the coup of the thread.
A very popular theme, the staying friends with an ex theme has become.
I wrote that sentence backwards.
WB Yeats remained friendly with numerous exes.

I've been waiting for that all day.

 

[FiFi_LaRue]

i knew some girl who swore by the motto 'the only way to get over somebody is to get under somebody'

Worked for me!

 

[dleacht]

i knew some girl who swore by the motto 'the only way to get over somebody is to get under somebody'

I'm pretty sure there's more than one person out there going by that rule. I don't know it depends on the person but I've found it isn't that effective

 

[snakybus]

ah man, not another one of these fucken threads

Grow some hair on yer balls, all of yiz. The women included.

 

[Wilbert]

i hope my ex reads this thread sometime.

Oh, I'm reading it alright!!!

 

[Kid Lovebeach]

Oh, I'm reading it alright!!!

fabio?!

 

[snakybus]

Something going on in groom I don't know about?

 

[cpr]

I stayed friends with an ex for ages but it turned pretty sour when I started going out with someone else. He was really pissed off that I'd moved on and made all kinds of mental threats to my safety and my families along with tons of emotional blackmail "if you continue going out with him i'll top myself" etc etc.So that put an end to that friendship. Squiggle is right, it only works if both parties are totally done with the relationship. If there are still feelings on one side, it's doomed!