Playing music and having kids... (1 Viewer)

[snakybus]

...involves rather strict scheduling, and is quite tiring. But it's perfectly feasible.

I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on this. In particular, I'm interested in how Dromed manages it. Is your son a little older?

 

[nlgbbbblth]

well playing (as in listening) to music and having kids is dead easy.

 

[egg_]

Playing in a band of Das means you get to practise and gig a lot less than you'd like ... especially whan one of those Das has custody on Fridays and Saturdays (and ye all live between one and four hours drive away from one another)

But it is do-able, providing your tolerances for inconvenience and exhaustion are high

 

[snakybus]

do you play as often as you want to?

 

[MDR]

How do you afford it financially? Do your partners let you keep some of the household dosh for gigs/recording?

 

[snakybus]

Well, having kids isn't all that expensive - at least not when they're small - so it's not all that different, financially speaking, than not having kids.

 

[aoboa]

I kinda lost interest in making music for most of last year.
I'm only just getting back into it now.

 

[Dromed]

Jeebus i don't know...i'm just in a sort of routine now...when you're just going to do something no matter what, you find a way to make it work. You have to accept that this is now your life and therefore it will maybe take you longer but it's still possible to do it and the thing is, you appreciate those things so much. My son is seven and he's never not known life without me doing this so it's pretty normal to him.

The ultimate sacrifice though is that I've spent the first seven years of his life putting time and money into this that i should maybe have put more on him. I work full time and rehearse three times a week - twice straight from work at 5.30 and don't get home until nearly midnight so for those two days i see him for a half hour in the morning. I'm blessed that my family are amazingly supportive - he spends some of the weekend in his dad's and between that and my mam and sister helping out we manage it. I couldn't do it otherwise. I had a major existential crisis when he was small ...i had to stop for a while obviously, even though i gigged until i was 8 months pregnant then had to take a break for a bit but about three months after the birth i was back at it. I couldn't cope without it and had to go back to it for my own mental health.

I feel massively guilty over it sometimes but it's normal life for him and i know i wouldn't be much fun to be around for him if i wasn't doing it in some shape or form. I'm lucky to have a good job so the money situation is ok. The harder question is what will happen for him and me if my band starts touring..i would want to bring him with me but i can't just lift him out of his life and away from his friends and out of school. But that's another bridge to cross if and when the time comes.

I'm lucky too in that there's another parent in the band and we support each other a lot - it helps a lot to have someone else there that is going through the same stuff. You do a lot of self-examination when you have kids i think..you think fucking hell am i fucking this little person up or what? But one thing i know my son will grow up with is an understanding that if you want something you have to work for it - shit doesn't just land in your lap - and to go for it no matter what.

He knows no matter what he wants to do or be in his life i'm behind him 100% - the same way my family has been behind me. He's turning out to be a lovely person..so it can't be all bad. I think the person who probably suffers most in your life in these kind of situations is your partner/boyf/girlf.. i think it has to be pretty tough for them - especially if they aren't driven to do something in the way you might be.

 

[egg_]

Wow
What band are you in Dromed? Even playing on my own 3 times a week is undo-able in my world at the minute (though that's more to do with building/decorating a house than anything else)
If I had an undisturbed hour 5 days a week to play it'd do wonders for my mental health

 

[Dromed]

Stagger Lee is my family now ha ha!

Never underestimate the importance of your own mental health Egg...though having your own house will be something to be pretty feckin' proud of too!

 

[Anthony]

If I pick up the guitar at home I never make it to the end of a song without getting disturbed... and I write short songs.

 

[egg_]

If I pick up the guitar at home I never make it to the end of a song without getting disturbed... and I write short songs.

The only songs I get to play the whole way through (except after bedtime) are 900 miles from home and Rocky road to Dublin. Otherwise it's "No daddy! Play the train song! Play the Dublin song!"

edit: or "No daddy! Play your bass!" She can listen to the riff from Rock Lobster all night

 

[Anthony]

really? I just get the machine heads turned and the plectrum taken off me and put in the hole in the acoustic while i'm playing.

 

[mr pharmacist!!!!1]

 

[MDR]

If I have kids they are going to sit quietly beside me while I play piano and then they'll unintrusively turn the page of the sheet music in the right places. Or so I imagine.

 

[Dromed]

THere's something a bit 'Capturing the Freidman's about this lot.... *shudder*
Bleedin family slide show circus.

 

[imagoo]

Well having kids you've to regrow with them and go with their music. It's like going back to the past through the future.

 

[mr pharmacist!!!!1]

THere's something a bit 'Capturing the Freidman's about this lot.... *shudder*
Bleedin family slide show circus.

maybe his 'tache but everything else seems koesher.




























by koesher i mean capturing the friedmans.

 

[avernus]

"THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY GUITAR, YOU FUCKER!!!" is what I'd say if a child tried to twist the machine heads.



Bad parent.

 

[São Paulo Punk]

I find that being in a band with people who are already in other bands is good cause the onus is on everyone to be a bit more organised and forward thinking in terms of booking gigs and practising.

I write a lot of stuff in the kitchen while cooking dinner. I generally chop all the veg, put the beans and rice on, then play away while everything cooks. It's actually pretty good fun, and my kitchen is fucking tiny.

My son is 3 now and we have the odd livingroom jam. He moves from his rainbow vibraphone to harmonica, flute and tamborine. I play guitar and sing Old MacDonald, Tadhg's own hit number 'I like Beans' and as of late 'Nana' by Wilson Simonal, bizarrely.