Mouthy cunts who play football (1 Viewer)

[Moods For Mallards]

Dudes giving out excessively in a negative way and contributing little - bad.
Dudes talking through the game, letting people know what options they have or where the danger is - v.v. good.

Well said, skipper.

 

[Bladez]

That's the thing. You don't have time to listen to these things, let alone consider them. So all it is is noise. You get the ball, make a decision and pass it off. It all happens in a split second.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

That's the thing. You don't have time to listen to these things, let alone consider them. So all it is is noise. You get the ball, make a decision and pass it off. It all happens in a split second.

You're probably just a bad player though.
The greats always seem to have lots of time.

 

[Bladez]

You're just winding me up

Anyway, just to clear things up. I have no problem with someone alerting you they are in free space or that there is a man free when defending. Its when someone repeatedly tells you what to do when you have the ball and then berates you for not doing exactly as they say, thats what pisses me off. And when they themselves are doing fuck all to contribute - thats even worse. And when the game is supposed to be just a friendly kick-about, x1,000,000.....

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

Just make sure you're not on his team next time and the send him up in the air with a crunching tackle.

 

[Bladez]

Yep. He's getting special treatment next time. I'm making sure he rarely gets the ball and when he does I'll be all over him.

 

[Pedronimus]

It is annoying when you get shouted at when making a mistake. I mean, you know you made a mistake. You don't need some prick reminding you of it.

If someone shouts at you stop, find out who it is, walk up to them and tell him to shut the fuck up. Then any time he messes up shout 'nice one, Pele'.

Another problem I have is with GAA types who think its croke park on all ireland sunday; elbowing, tripping and walking into you when the ball is at the other end.

 

[Stan Bowles]

I once recieved a flying kick to the stomach from a dad on the sideline after repeatedly fouling his son, that was great fun.

I can still remember playing in a junior league as a kid and being slaughtered by a group of older men who should have known better. I was marking one of their kids, so of course every time I won a tackle it was a case of "FOUL REF! FUCK SAKE! DIRTY BASTARD! SEND HIM OFF!" I was even physically threatened at one point during the game.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

If someone shouts at you stop, find out who it is, walk up to them and tell him to shut the fuck up. Then any time he messes up shout 'nice one, Pele'.

Oh that would make you really annoying.

 

[Wheels]

I once recieved a flying kick to the stomach from a dad on the sideline after repeatedly fouling his son, that was great fun.

Never cross a Frenchman Neil.

 

[Pedronimus]

Oh that would make you really annoying.

Had to be done to this useless cunt who was moaning at everyone.

 

[coast to coast]

Also, they are usually really exaggerated passers of the ball - all side foot & leaning into the ball like Jamie Carragher meets a fat under-12s coach

Completely spot on about Carra's technique. He's so useless on the ball - what a complete legend.

 

[coast to coast]

In Argentina they play 5 a side with really heavy footballs and the goals are thinner and taller (square shaped almost) and you have sidelines to keep the ball in play. Its much better, encourages people to actually pass to one another and the heavy ball is easier to control and harder to smash in from far out. None of the kicking the ball of the side wall shite either. Its much better. And you don't get those black yokes in your shoes for the next three weeks either.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

In Argentina they play 5 a side with really heavy footballs and the goals are thinner and taller (square shaped almost) and you have sidelines to keep the ball in play. Its much better, encourages people to actually pass to one another and the heavy ball is easier to control and harder to smash in from far out. None of the kicking the ball of the side wall shite either. Its much better. And you don't get those black yokes in your shoes for the next three weeks either.

Agreed that 5-a-side pitches would be well served by sidelines. The off-the-wall cheat pass makes a mockery of the game.

 

[It Will Never Last]

There's usually one in each five-a-side game. Because they are a bit past their prime they sit at the back playing sweeper and generally directing play. When not berating you for your mistakes they can be heard shouting inanities such as "keep it simple" and "get rid of it" and having a hissy fit when nobody follows their instructions. And then when they fuck up they blame you for their shit ability. These guys really fuck me off.

You've just described a bloke I work with...to a tee.

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

What annoys me is when a dude plays a pass to you off the wall on purpose (where a normal pass would have worked just as well).
It's a pain in the arse, you never know which way the ball is gonna come back off the fence.

 

[Hector Grey]

it's a dif'rent game, but, innit? might as well compare badminton to tennis.

 

[ratmonkey]

 

[shitepipe]

In Argentina they play 5 a side with really heavy footballs and the goals are thinner and taller (square shaped almost) and you have sidelines to keep the ball in play. Its much better, encourages people to actually pass to one another and the heavy ball is easier to control and harder to smash in from far out. None of the kicking the ball of the side wall shite either. Its much better. And you don't get those black yokes in your shoes for the next three weeks either.

this is how they play 'on the continent' as well. its called futsal. much much better than the real tennis footbal played here. the heavy ball makes a big difference, considering using it for our 5 a sides here.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futsal

 

[Franco]

Smaller ball too, innit?

It's big in Spain. Think they have professional league.