Mouthy cunts who play football (1 Viewer)

[Bladez]

There's usually one in each five-a-side game. Because they are a bit past their prime they sit at the back playing sweeper and generally directing play. When not berating you for your mistakes they can be heard shouting inanities such as "keep it simple" and "get rid of it" and having a hissy fit when nobody follows their instructions. And then when they fuck up they blame you for their shit ability. These guys really fuck me off.

 

[Pedronimus]

In astro I have found dubs wayyy whinier/mouthier than culchies. Its good when dub teams start whinging at each other, usually mean their ready to collapse.

 

[avernus]

I dunno. I think the boggers are pretty whiny. I hate the mouthy types. The following has been shouted at me by various arseholes:

"PASS THE FUCKIN BALL YE FUCKIN IDIOT!"
by some fat shit who obviously a) can't kick shit off a rope b) has never had a ride c) works in a job he hates and is no good at.

"IF YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY, GO HOME!"
by some balding cunt from the north who a) was one of the shittest players b) had contributed little more than repeatedly losing the ball and shouting FUCK! c) looked like his life was so miserable that he feels pathetic for not having ended it already.


They are invariably life's losers who take out their eternal frustrations with living in sub-mediocrity and aging at an exponentially more rapid rate than any of their immediate peers.



That said.. sometimes you need someone to say things and get mad. It's just nice when they are great players themselves and contribute more than the average dude.

 

[Vinnie]

There's usually one in each five-a-side game. Because they are a bit past their prime they sit at the back playing sweeper and generally directing play. When not berating you for your mistakes they can be heard shouting inanities such as "keep it simple" and "get rid of it" and having a hissy fit when nobody follows their instructions. And then when they fuck up they blame you for their shit ability. These guys really fuck me off.

Also, they are usually really exaggerated passers of the ball - all side foot & leaning into the ball like Jamie Carragher meets a fat under-12s coach

 

[avernus]

Also, they are usually really exaggerated passers of the ball - all side foot & leaning into the ball like Jamie Carragher meets a fat under-12s coach

haha

 

[Hector Grey]

I dunno. I think the boggers are pretty whiny. I hate the mouthy types. The following has been shouted at me by various arseholes:

"PASS THE FUCKIN BALL YE FUCKIN IDIOT!"
by some fat shit who obviously a) can't kick shit off a rope b) has never had a ride c) works in a job he hates and is no good at.

"IF YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY, GO HOME!"
by some balding cunt from the north who a) was one of the shittest players b) had contributed little more than repeatedly losing the ball and shouting FUCK! c) looked like his life was so miserable that he feels pathetic for not having ended it already.


They are invariably life's losers who take out their eternal frustrations with living in sub-mediocrity and aging at an exponentially more rapid rate than any of their immediate peers.



That said.. sometimes you need someone to say things and get mad. It's just nice when they are great players themselves and contribute more than the average dude.

what about "you usually put them away"?
that get right on your goat, and gives it a hump.

i love to moan.

 

[Bladez]

This is exactly what I'm talking about. I was playing with one of these last night. Big red cheeks and a scowl on his face for the whole match. When he lost the ball he complained that nobody showed for him and he was hoofing it down field while preaching to everyone to keep it simple.

I don't know how to deal with these guys. I've just been keeping my mouth shut and ignoring them. But sometimes the pure hypocrisy fucks me off so much that I feel like letting them know about it. But then I think better of it. Its only a 5-a-side game. I imagine they live the rest of their life the same way and are on a fast route to a heart-attack.


​

 

[Johnnyc]

These are the same breed of moron that will watch a u-15 game and give the kids the same level of abuse that gets dished out to the likes of Ronaldo and Fabregas on a regular basis.

I can still remember playing in a junior league as a kid and being slaughtered by a group of older men who should have known better. I was marking one of their kids, so of course every time I won a tackle it was a case of "FOUL REF! FUCK SAKE! DIRTY BASTARD! SEND HIM OFF!" I was even physically threatened at one point during the game.

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

I was getting something similar from a dude in an 11-a-side at the weekend. Gave out to me for passing the ball to a teammate instead of hoofing it out of play.
Gave out to me for breaking up a counter attack and winning the ball back after a corner.
So I told him I was trying to play fucking football.
He didn't like that so much.
Although I'd scored in the first half. And he scored the equaliser. In our net, like.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

There's usually one in each five-a-side game. Because they are a bit past their prime they sit at the back playing sweeper and generally directing play. When not berating you for your mistakes they can be heard shouting inanities such as "keep it simple" and "get rid of it" and having a hissy fit when nobody follows their instructions. And then when they fuck up they blame you for their shit ability. These guys really fuck me off.

That's nonsense. You must be one of these fellows who takes offence to any communication that's not 'encouraging'. You probably never pass the ball intelligently, and if you don't then you should count yourself lucky that there's someone on your team who notices it and tries to improve you as a player and, as a result, the enjoyment of playing the 5-a-side.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

By the way, anyone who shouts "get rid of it" in a 5-a-side should be shot.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

I can still remember playing in a junior league as a kid and being slaughtered by a group of older men who should have known better. I was marking one of their kids, so of course every time I won a tackle it was a case of "FOUL REF! FUCK SAKE! DIRTY BASTARD! SEND HIM OFF!" I was even physically threatened at one point during the game.

That is a completely different form of shouting. That is just thuggery.

 

[Hector Grey]

none of fuckers have 'captain' qualities at all. a bit of encouragement, a bit of bollocking...communication is crucial to the game. saps. you're all dropped.

 

[Bladez]

That's nonsense. You must be one of these fellows who takes offence to any communication that's not 'encouraging'. You probably never pass the ball intelligently, and if you don't then you should count yourself lucky that there's someone on your team who notices it and tries to improve you as a player and, as a result, the enjoyment of playing the 5-a-side.

You're joking........right?

There's no point in bellowing at someone when they receive the ball what to do with it. When you are receiving the ball, you are concentrating on what's around you and on making a decision on what to do with the ball. You don't have time to listen to some loud-mouth, let alone take in what they are saying, process it and decide whether its a worth-while option.

And anyway, its just a bit of fun.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

You're joking........right?

There's no point in bellowing at someone when they receive the ball what to do with it. When you are receiving the ball, you are concentrating on what's around you and on making a decision on what to do with the ball. You don't have time to listen to some loud-mouth, let alone take in what they are saying, process it and decide whether its a worth-while option.

And anyway, its just a bit of fun.

Really? I thought you were giving out about people you bollock you after the fact, which is understandable in a certain way I suppose.
But surely making people aware that there's someone in acres of space on your left, for example, is part and parcel of the game. Good players call and communicate and I really don't see how anyone could take offence at that.

And if it's not a bit competitive and taken moderately seriously, then it's not fun at all.

 

[Hector Grey]

i was playing indoor t'other day, we had one of those horrible green felty balls that was brand new and just slid across the court, you couldn't read it at all and it would get stuck under the feet. everyone had a stinker. but everytime this one lad passed to me, and the ball slid by like a greasy rag all i heard was "fuck sake", sotto voce. eventually i lost the rag, after another crap pass from him, and another "fuck sake". bit of violence never hurt anyone, i say. all part of the game. get on with it.

 

[Bladez]

Really? I thought you were giving out about people you bollock you after the fact, which is understandable in a certain way I suppose.
But surely making people aware that there's someone in acres of space on your left, for example, is part and parcel of the game. Good players call and communicate and I really don't see how anyone could take offence at that.

And if it's not a bit competitive and taken moderately seriously, then it's not fun at all.

It is annoying when you get shouted at when making a mistake. I mean, you know you made a mistake. You don't need some prick reminding you of it.

I'll give you that. Its good to call out when you are in free space. At least you are alerting the passer to your presence. I'm talking about these guys just sit at the back, shouting instructions on where to pass it.

The game is supposed to be about creativity. If you're just playing to someone else's instructions because you'll get a bollocking if you don't then it takes all enjoyment from the game.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

I'm actually really nice.

 

[Moods For Mallards]

It is annoying when you get shouted at when making a mistake. I mean, you know you made a mistake. You don't need some prick reminding you of it.

I'll give you that. Its good to call out when you are in free space. At least you are alerting the passer to your presence. I'm talking about these guys just sit at the back, shouting instructions on where to pass it.

The game is supposed to be about creativity. If you're just playing to someone else's instructions because you'll get a bollocking if you don't then it takes all enjoyment from the game.

But no no no. you should be allowed to alert colleagues that third parties are in a good position for a pass. Or that they should hold the ball up, or that some opponent is behind them, etc. It's all teamwork, Bladez. There's plenty of room for creativity.

 

[RED(tape)MENACE]

Dudes giving out excessively in a negative way and contributing little - bad.
Dudes talking through the game, letting people know what options they have or where the danger is - v.v. good.