Mormonism (2 Viewers)

[shower another shower]

The Mormon Church, otherwise known as the 'LDS' or 'Latter-Day Saints', have the largest, most detailed set of genealogical records in the entire world.

You can also evangelise your dead relatives and make them Mormon.

This is all for baptism for the dead. the database is not limited to just mormon geneaology. After yer all dead, you'll all be baptised morman. fact.

 

[Scientician 0.8]

Bing: From LDS TO LSD in one easy step.

 

[TrueLoveWaits]

What about the afterlife? Heard some story that after death a Mormon man, instead of going to heaven, gets a planet to himself. Is that right?

What bout a Mormon woman? Or should I ask?

I worked for a Mormon once and he was a politician...pissed the opposition off no end that there was no dirt on him thanks to his religion

 

[BonsaiSuperstar]

Thats right, after they were translate, the Angel Moroni took them back. Convenient, isn't it?

what language did he translate from?

 

[egg_]

This is all for baptism for the dead. the database is not limited to just mormon geneaology. After yer all dead, you'll all be baptised morman. fact.

So even though I'm an atheist and think religion in general and Mormonism in particular is pure daftness, I still get to go to heaven if I'm wrong?
Cool

 

[shower another shower]

What about the afterlife? Heard some story that after death a Mormon man, instead of going to heaven, gets a planet to himself. Is that right?

Yes, if you actually make it to the Celestial Kingdom. They believe theres 3 levels of heaven. If you make it to the top, you become a god yourself with a planet of yer own. I was always an under achiever and really would of been quite happy with the terrestrial kingdom.

 

[jane]

Thats right, after they were translate, the Angel Moroni took them back. Convenient, isn't it?

That's exactly what I said to them. I was genuinely interested in finding out what made them tick, but I realised I was in over my head when I saw that they didn't want to differentiate between someone who just wanted to know stuff and someone who wanted to put on a flowered Laura Ashley dress and go knocking on heathen doors.

So if I get to celestial level, can I rule over an army of celestial puppies? That'd be super cute.

By the way, they have their own archaeology magazine: http://www.ancientamerican.com/

 

[shower another shower]

What bout a Mormon woman? Or should I ask?

I worked for a Mormon once and he was a politician...pissed the opposition off no end that there was no dirt on him thanks to his religion

Their place is in the home. Baby machines. Can't hold the priesthood. Are expected to marry a 'returned missionary' when they're aprrox 21-22 years old.
I've got a Morman cookbook somewhere here, and will post some recipes from the chicks.

 

[TrueLoveWaits]

Their place is in the home. Baby machines. Can't hold the priesthood. Are expected to marry a 'returned missionary' when they're aprrox 21-22 years old.
I've got a Morman cookbook somewhere here, and will post some recipes from the chicks.

Pretty much same as Roman Catholicism then?

 

[snakybus]

Where do I sign up?

 

[Denny Oubidoux]

I know drinking/smoking/drugs are out and you've to spend 2 years evangelising. And you can marry loads of chicks. Anything else we should know?

i wouldnt let the drink and drug thing stop you. i once had a mormon friend and one night we were boozing and taking drugs at a party and i took the opportunity to ask him about how he could reconcile the booze and the drugs with his religion and he said it was ok - he would repent later in life when he'd had enough of them.

 

[flashback]

Bing... have you rejected the Mormon faith completely at this point?

How did this happen, you were saying that you were fairly cracked out on drugs and things, but, did it happen suddenly, a sort of revelation deal, or slowly?

Did it fuck with your thinking for a long time, I mean, was it suddenly everything you knew was torn down, and you had to start re-evaluating your whole life, or was it more of a mehh, fuck it, anyone going for a pint?

Why did your sister get a restraining order from them? Was she threatened by them for leaving the church? Did you ever feel threatened?

Did you always have it in the back of your mind that this religion thing has a bit of sniff of bollocks about it, or did you totally believe at one point?


Sorry about all the questions... feel free to tell me to fuck off.

 

[Lord Damian]

Sorry about all the questions... feel free to tell me to fuck off.

can anyone do this or just Bing?

 

[flashback]

can anyone do this or just Bing?

oh right.. yeah, sorry, any takers would be cool. Did you used to be religious Damo? Or do you just want to tell me to fuck off... only Billy Gannon has that right.

I have always been interested how a person moves from an irrational system of beliefs to a rational existence. How the transition occurs, psychologically what happens etc.
Even though it sounds funny, I can remember when it happened to me. I found the letters I wrote to the tooth fairy in my dads drawer. I took them down to him, and asked him what the story was.
He told me that he was in fact the tooth fairy. And then I suddenly realized that it was all made up.
I asked him did that mean he was the Easter bunny too?
And he told me it did.
Santa?
Check...
God?
Eehhhhh. Ask your mother about that.

But, it was too late, everything had fallen away. I didn't believe in anything at all from that moment on. I was young, and it didn't alter me in a big way, but I was never really into religion or any of that.
God not existing was less shocking than Santa, because of all this evidence I had for Santa.

That's my, fairly weak, revelation story.
Anyone else's would be interesting.

 

[ernesto]

orgazmo was hilarious. thats about a mormon

 

[Scientician 0.8]

Are there any religious thumpsters?

 

[pete]

Are there any religious thumpsters?

Sometimes it seems there's lots of people here into Moronism.

 

[Lord Damian]

Sometimes it seems there's lots of people here into Moronism.

you forgot that 2nd M in Mormonism there Pete.

 

[shower another shower]

Where do I sign up?

I'm sure I can arrange for a couple of young, cleancut 19 lads to call by your home, if thats what you'd like. Really.

 

[Lord Damian]

Are there any religious thumpsters?

that depends...is booze a religion?