Fucking airline security at Shannon airport
(not actual security, or US ICE, but some clown asking nonsense questions)
Me: Hello
Her: There's no tag on your bag!
Me: Yes there is
I hand her my passport open on the picture page so she can scan it on her little computer. She takes it out of the protective cover - which is a pet peeve of mine - when I'm giving it to an actual immigration office (you know the people who are actually trained to examine passports) I take it out of the sleeve, but I hate when airline lackeys take it upon themselves to do it without permission.
Her: Are you flying first class
Me: Yes
I wasn't, but I'm entitled to use the priority line and I find just saying yes shortcuts a whole nonsense discussion with them.
She looks at her list an find my name
Her: (very snotty now at this point) Have you your ESTA done?
Me: Yes
This is pointless question number 1 - the girl at the checking desk can see your ESTA status as soon as she swipes your passport
Her: What is your destination in the US?
Me: None, I'm in transit to Mexico
Her: Have you a mexican visa?
Me: I don't need one
Her: why
Me: I have a work permit
Her: Can I see it? Where is it (as she flicks through the passport)
Me: No
Her: Why not?
Me: I'll be renewing it when I get back
Her: so you don't have it
Me: I don't need it, I can get 90 days on a business visa
Her: where id that?
Me: They give it to you on arrival.
She is very stroppy at this point and I am getting progressively more irritated
Her: what is your occupation there
Me: what!?
Her what is your occupation
Me: Accountant
She lets it lie and proceeds to do her spiel - which for Continental at Shannon is a very rehersed series of bullshit questions which they ask, the questions are meaningless as they have no way of checking whether you have answered honestly or not (so from a security perspective there is no point in even asking - it's like hoping that asking "are you a terrorist?" is a valid security measure)
Her: I represent security for the airline, I need to ask you some question about your luggage, is it all yours
Me: yes
Her: did you pack it yourself?
Me yes
Her: has it been with you at all times?
Me: yes
Her: have you anything battery operated
Me:
Yes: A laptop
Her: is it yours?
Me: Yes
Aside from the laptop there is also an ipod, a kindle and no doubt other battery operated crap somewhere in the bag. The laptop isn't mine either it's work, but as soon as you say that there is a huge digression about "has it been out for repair" to which I have learned "how the fuck should I know!" is not an appreciated response.
She now starts into the "I'm asking you this because in the past, passengers have been asked to carry items on board by others which have turned out to be dangerous, has anyone asked you to carry anything on board today?
Again another stupid question, 99.999% of people will say no just to get her to shut the fuck up so they can get on with check in, so there is no point in even asking, and even less point in having a whole preamble to the stupid question.
I am at this point in a bake, an try and cut of the spiel.
Her: I repre....
Me: Yes it's all mine and no one has asked me to carry anything on board.
By apparently the correct answer was not enough and she is very annoyed she didn't get to do her little performance, so she starts again.
Her: I represent security for the airline, I'm asking you this because in the past, passengers have been asked to carry items on board by others which have turned out to be dangerous, has anyone asked you to carry anything on board today?
Me:Yes it's all mine and no one has asked me to carry anything on board.
At this point her supervisor appears and they have a little conflab and (for some unknown reason) she shows the passport page of the passport to the supervisor
Supervisor: You have a problem with security
Me: Yes, this is bullshit
Supervisor: we represent security for the airline, do you have a problem with the questions, we always ask this...
Me: I've been on this flight 40 times and I've never been asked my occupation or immigration status
Supervisor: Do you have a prob...
Me: Did I refuse to answer anything?
Supervisor: OK go ahead.
(not actual security, or US ICE, but some clown asking nonsense questions)
Me: Hello
Her: There's no tag on your bag!
Me: Yes there is
I hand her my passport open on the picture page so she can scan it on her little computer. She takes it out of the protective cover - which is a pet peeve of mine - when I'm giving it to an actual immigration office (you know the people who are actually trained to examine passports) I take it out of the sleeve, but I hate when airline lackeys take it upon themselves to do it without permission.
Her: Are you flying first class
Me: Yes
I wasn't, but I'm entitled to use the priority line and I find just saying yes shortcuts a whole nonsense discussion with them.
She looks at her list an find my name
Her: (very snotty now at this point) Have you your ESTA done?
Me: Yes
This is pointless question number 1 - the girl at the checking desk can see your ESTA status as soon as she swipes your passport
Her: What is your destination in the US?
Me: None, I'm in transit to Mexico
Her: Have you a mexican visa?
Me: I don't need one
Her: why
Me: I have a work permit
Her: Can I see it? Where is it (as she flicks through the passport)
Me: No
Her: Why not?
Me: I'll be renewing it when I get back
Her: so you don't have it
Me: I don't need it, I can get 90 days on a business visa
Her: where id that?
Me: They give it to you on arrival.
She is very stroppy at this point and I am getting progressively more irritated
Her: what is your occupation there
Me: what!?
Her what is your occupation
Me: Accountant
She lets it lie and proceeds to do her spiel - which for Continental at Shannon is a very rehersed series of bullshit questions which they ask, the questions are meaningless as they have no way of checking whether you have answered honestly or not (so from a security perspective there is no point in even asking - it's like hoping that asking "are you a terrorist?" is a valid security measure)
Her: I represent security for the airline, I need to ask you some question about your luggage, is it all yours
Me: yes
Her: did you pack it yourself?
Me yes
Her: has it been with you at all times?
Me: yes
Her: have you anything battery operated
Me:
Yes: A laptop
Her: is it yours?
Me: Yes
Aside from the laptop there is also an ipod, a kindle and no doubt other battery operated crap somewhere in the bag. The laptop isn't mine either it's work, but as soon as you say that there is a huge digression about "has it been out for repair" to which I have learned "how the fuck should I know!" is not an appreciated response.
She now starts into the "I'm asking you this because in the past, passengers have been asked to carry items on board by others which have turned out to be dangerous, has anyone asked you to carry anything on board today?
Again another stupid question, 99.999% of people will say no just to get her to shut the fuck up so they can get on with check in, so there is no point in even asking, and even less point in having a whole preamble to the stupid question.
I am at this point in a bake, an try and cut of the spiel.
Her: I repre....
Me: Yes it's all mine and no one has asked me to carry anything on board.
By apparently the correct answer was not enough and she is very annoyed she didn't get to do her little performance, so she starts again.
Her: I represent security for the airline, I'm asking you this because in the past, passengers have been asked to carry items on board by others which have turned out to be dangerous, has anyone asked you to carry anything on board today?
Me:Yes it's all mine and no one has asked me to carry anything on board.
At this point her supervisor appears and they have a little conflab and (for some unknown reason) she shows the passport page of the passport to the supervisor
Supervisor: You have a problem with security
Me: Yes, this is bullshit
Supervisor: we represent security for the airline, do you have a problem with the questions, we always ask this...
Me: I've been on this flight 40 times and I've never been asked my occupation or immigration status
Supervisor: Do you have a prob...
Me: Did I refuse to answer anything?
Supervisor: OK go ahead.
