Kiddies being bullied (3 Viewers)

[La La]

one of my cousins was tormented all through school by these fucking assholes who just singled him out and wore him down for years. the last straw was when he was in 5th year and one of them actually stabbed him with some kind of razor blade. it took him being physically injured for the school to step in. while what happened to him was awful, 5 odd years of emotional torture are pretty bad too....it angers me that the school didnt think it was as important.

 

[Jerry Twig]

was anyone ever bullied doing a masters?

tormented...intellectually

 

[mackle]

My brothers friend who left the school was at my house today. He was telling us that when he went to report the bullying to the year head she said "People dont just get bullied for no reason. They bring it on themselves". His parents are taking it up with the education board. However she says that it never happened. DOnt believe her at all. People are shitheads

 

[jane]

My brothers friend who left the school was at my house today. He was telling us that when he went to report the bullying to the year head she said "People dont just get bullied for no reason. They bring it on themselves". His parents are taking it up with the education board. However she says that it never happened. DOnt believe her at all. People are shitheads

Jesus, Ciaran, that's really insane, but I wish I could say that it was hard to believe. I mean, look what happened with your situation, when you were clearly being singled out and they were obviously overreacting, and making you out to be some kind of villain, and then blaming you for the way THEY were behaving!

I had serious shit in school, and the teachers encouraged it. I once got the piss kicked out of me by a bunch of football players, and got in trouble for 'bringing it on myself', even though they'd been hiding behind an open door and had jumped me unawares and ripped my earrings all out (and my ears are still mangled and fucking vile-looking from it). After about two years (which is as long as I spent in that schoool), shit got so bad that the principal's son, who was in my class, and never tolerated people being horrible, went to his dad, and was like, "Dude, this chick is going to get killed or kill someone if you don't do something." And eventually, other kids in my school realised that as much fun as it seemed to be for a while to try to wear me down, it was not really that smart. So finally, a whole BUNCH of kids went to the principal and said it had to stop.

The sad part is, the only reason they did anything was to avoid a lawsuit. Up until that point, the only reason no one stepped in was because they could avoid it, when they knew no one was really on my side (except, oddly enough, the cheerleading squad, who would threaten to kick the shit out of any football player who so much as looked at me sideways). Eventually, they just gave me a diploma and I left, because they were told that they could be in serious shit for that. They also called in the police and had a restraining order taken out on my behalf, but it was on the wrong people, and they did it without telling me or telling my parents. What kind of sucks is that I stopped going to school at 15 because of it, and I'd been a straight-A student right up until the time when it just got too scary to show up. By the time I left, I was having random blackouts and panic attacks and all sorts of shit. They even tried to have me diagnosed as ADD (because it had just been classified as a disorder) as if that would give them an excuse. But I don't have ADD, they were just plain cunts who acted with impunity because their mommies and daddies were on the staff at Harvard Law, and the school figured that I'd never be able to get a bigger lawyer than they could. Until they realised that the state could step in, which they did. But the thing is, the wrong people got arrested, and the fucking rich cunts who were responsible for most of it still got away with it, when they were the ones who left permanent fucking scars, including some twat who threw me into a concrete wall so hard my elbow still clicks 15 years later.

It was all a big fucking mess, and I'm really saddened to see that bullying seems to be getting even worse in school. Anne OMalley found a flyposter on my road the other day that said, "So and so is a ginger pox" and then something even meaner underneath. He ripped it down because it was mean, and if I find any more, I will go to the schools because it's likely that the bully or bullies are not being held accountable. There's no way people didn't see that.

The problem is that bullying really needs someone stepping in on the victim's behalf because there's such a tendency to alienate the victim as if he or she has brought it on him or herself. The biggest fear in reporting bullying is either to be not believed, or to be accused of deserving it, and sadly, victims of bullying often have to work very hard to prove that it is real, and yet they still DO believe it's their fault. It can be very hard to plead your case when you genuinely have been worn down by bullying, and totally disempowered. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I think that in my case, it wasn't until someone whose voice was considered 'valid' stepped in that anything was done. Anything I said fell on deaf ears because the people whose job it was to stop it were the same people who insisted I must have brought it on myself.

 

[jane]

I had a bully and he's in prison now. Heard his name on the radio one day, convicted of being involved in Paramilitary activities with the C.I.R.A. Big, dumn, half-wit fuckhole and i wish he was dead.

If i even got whiff of anybody bullying my little brother there'd be a bootin', Simpsons style.

One guy who bullied me died of a heroin overdose.

But as for the fighting back, sometimes it's not even that. One of the only times I've been bullied by girls it was this chick and her sister in primary school, both of whom were like twice my size. The older one was bullying someone else, and I stuck up for the person, and ended up getting followed home from school and beaten by the pair of them.

Weirdly, we ended up becoming friends because I didn't make a huge deal out of what had happened, and these chicks decided that actually, they'd picked on someone who was at least as alienated as they were, and that actually, they liked me because I was mouthy and opinionated.

 

[wild_cat]

I know this sounds really dumb but if id say it stops me from getting a lot of shit for being "weird" to my face. (2nd year religion class had a discussion bout the one with the stuff and the merc thing wrote on her bag a couple of weeks ago and how im the biggest freak in the world because of it., the one being me). I know for a fact that those skanger second years would never say anyting to my face. Only let your gaurd down to a few people and when walking through the corridor look like if some one talked to you , you'd punch them. Show that you get angry easily so if some one does stake the piss out of you step up your tone a lot. Stuff like that.

 

[classic seanc]

That wouldn't stop people thinkin you're a freak Roisin, probably have the opposite effect. People won't say anything to your face too often, but I alway's found its the stuff people say behind your back that's way more damaging. People get an impression of you from what they hear from others, and there's nothin you can do about it, which is shit.

But, none of that matters when you leave school. And most people give less credence to what they hear as they go into their late teens/20's, and they're more likely to actually try and get to know you. Whenever I'm home, everyone know's who I am, but none of them know a single thing about me.

 

[Space]

Just on the point of the wrong people being arrested. When I got beaten up my parents brought me to the gardai and I gave a statement naming of the ring leader but they still arrested his brother who happened to be at home that night and cautioned him for some reason.

One of the first steps towards me losing all faith in the gardai.

 

[mackle]

Jesus, Ciaran, that's really insane, but I wish I could say that it was hard to believe. I mean, look what happened with your situation, when you were clearly being singled out and they were obviously overreacting, and making you out to be some kind of villain, and then blaming you for the way THEY were behaving!

I had serious shit in school, and the teachers encouraged it. I once got the piss kicked out of me by a bunch of football players, and got in trouble for 'bringing it on myself', even though they'd been hiding behind an open door and had jumped me unawares and ripped my earrings all out (and my ears are still mangled and fucking vile-looking from it). After about two years (which is as long as I spent in that schoool), shit got so bad that the principal's son, who was in my class, and never tolerated people being horrible, went to his dad, and was like, "Dude, this chick is going to get killed or kill someone if you don't do something." And eventually, other kids in my school realised that as much fun as it seemed to be for a while to try to wear me down, it was not really that smart. So finally, a whole BUNCH of kids went to the principal and said it had to stop.

The sad part is, the only reason they did anything was to avoid a lawsuit. Up until that point, the only reason no one stepped in was because they could avoid it, when they knew no one was really on my side (except, oddly enough, the cheerleading squad, who would threaten to kick the shit out of any football player who so much as looked at me sideways). Eventually, they just gave me a diploma and I left, because they were told that they could be in serious shit for that. They also called in the police and had a restraining order taken out on my behalf, but it was on the wrong people, and they did it without telling me or telling my parents. What kind of sucks is that I stopped going to school at 15 because of it, and I'd been a straight-A student right up until the time when it just got too scary to show up. By the time I left, I was having random blackouts and panic attacks and all sorts of shit. They even tried to have me diagnosed as ADD (because it had just been classified as a disorder) as if that would give them an excuse. But I don't have ADD, they were just plain cunts who acted with impunity because their mommies and daddies were on the staff at Harvard Law, and the school figured that I'd never be able to get a bigger lawyer than they could. Until they realised that the state could step in, which they did. But the thing is, the wrong people got arrested, and the fucking rich cunts who were responsible for most of it still got away with it, when they were the ones who left permanent fucking scars, including some twat who threw me into a concrete wall so hard my elbow still clicks 15 years later.

It was all a big fucking mess, and I'm really saddened to see that bullying seems to be getting even worse in school. Anne OMalley found a flyposter on my road the other day that said, "So and so is a ginger pox" and then something even meaner underneath. He ripped it down because it was mean, and if I find any more, I will go to the schools because it's likely that the bully or bullies are not being held accountable. There's no way people didn't see that.

The problem is that bullying really needs someone stepping in on the victim's behalf because there's such a tendency to alienate the victim as if he or she has brought it on him or herself. The biggest fear in reporting bullying is either to be not believed, or to be accused of deserving it, and sadly, victims of bullying often have to work very hard to prove that it is real, and yet they still DO believe it's their fault. It can be very hard to plead your case when you genuinely have been worn down by bullying, and totally disempowered. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I think that in my case, it wasn't until someone whose voice was considered 'valid' stepped in that anything was done. Anything I said fell on deaf ears because the people whose job it was to stop it were the same people who insisted I must have brought it on myself.

I'm really sorry to hear you had to go through that at school Jane. Its just a disgrace that the education system never seems to move forward and the same kind of behaviour patterns of bullies are prominent always in school.

I got really bad bullying during primary school both in and out of school and a bit in seconday school. But I managed to fight through it and get it sorted out myself in the end because after some pretty shitty experiences with going to the school about it I just realised there was no way they woudl sort it.

With my brothers school its really bad because they thrive on their whole sports image and its all the ones that play sports that are making peoples lives hell. So therefore the school have decided that these people shouild only recieve a slap on the wrist or nothing at all. They'll never deal with it ever. People like my brother who are just good quiet students dont really contribute much to the actual appearance of the school and they dont feel they need them.

In regards to the comment that teacher made to his friend I think thats easily the worst thing that yopu could say to a child getting bullied. Like if I had gone and reported my bullying and someone said that it woulda destroyed me. You already have enough self esteem problems with it. Its amazing that people like that exist.

 

[nofunchee]

there must be some teachers out there. how do anti-bullying polices in school work generally? sorry for re-asking, i just really want to know what strategy schools can take.

 

[egg_]

I had serious shit in school, and the teachers encouraged it. I once got the piss kicked out of me by a bunch of football players, and got in trouble for 'bringing it on myself' ...

Holy fucking shit Jane. That's appalling

 

[jane]

Dude, that's why my kids will be going to airy-fairy hippie school.

 

[ICUH8N]

What kind of airy-fairy hippie school? I only ask because even though my spawn will be going to them too (in the event that the unthinkable should happen) all the kids I know who went to Steiner/Waldorf schools "is fuckups" in the immortal words of Ennis Del Mar...

 

[jane]

What kind of airy-fairy hippie school? I only ask because even though my spawn will be going to them too (in the event that the unthinkable should happen) all the kids I know who went to Steiner/Waldorf schools "is fuckups" in the immortal words of Ennis Del Mar...

Well, probably not airy-fairy hippie schools, but something along the lines of the schools I wanted to go to in the States. Places where they don't stress exams or grades (or indeed, have them at all), but at least mainstream enough to have some sense of discipline, and high expectations for the students. That was the kind of place I wanted to go, and where I think I would have done well. As much as I love the idea of the lefty bubble, perhaps they should be exposed to a wider range of influences. I never want them to have to sit the Leaving Cert, and I want them to go somewhere where the chances of bullying are minimised, and where, if it does occur, something can be done about it. Bullying will always happen, but it can only thrive in an environment where people routinely turn a blind eye to it.

Because really, a lot of the kids I knew who went to ultra-hippie schools also became total fuckups.This is the school I really wanted to go to (http://www.brimmerandmay.org/index.cfm) but we couldn't afford it. I think it used to be all girls, actually, but maybe I'm wrong.

 

[Bellatrix]

For some reason, whenever I think of "hippy school in Dublin" I think of St Andrew's in Booterstown. This is solely due to the fact that when I spent a day there all the students appeared to be permanently on the verge of reciting an epic poem/executing a pirouette.

This would have been in stark contrast to my own convent school which, true to form, had sent a group of students to St. Andrew's to demonstrate liturgical dancing.

I 'heart' The Lord.

 

[ICUH8N]

There's at least one Andrews person on thumped...

 

[frona]

I wasn't going to answer this cos I seem to have had the same experience as nearly everyone else (apart from those with the bullies who apologised - posh school). I was brought up to think fighting and violence is wrong. I got horribly bullied in primary and secondary school. I even needed a brainscan and hospitalisation after one bayting!

• The one who kicked my brain in is now living in a shithole with a million kids of various fathers. I hope she dies soon.
• I don't know where the rest of them are but it's probably similar to the above.
• I'm psychologically grand and happy out, despite my early years of near-constant revenge fantasies.
• I will be sending my kids to posh school and
• Telling them "if someone hits you, hit them back.

Dunchee is right though, that doesn't sort out the wider issue of bullying. Of course, all you care about as the bullied person is making it stop. God, I wish I had just stood up for myself and it might have saved me years of hating life because of school. Emo.

 

[c0De_n1NjA]

Apparently Andrews are really good at dealing with upset stomach or revitalising you digestive system.

 

[egg_]

airy-fairy hippie schools

I kinda think it'd be more sensible to have only one school where everyone in an area goes (like the way it is mostly in rural areas). If the sensitive/clever/weird kids get siphoned off to some fluffy cloud then the normal kids left behind kinda miss out, dontcha think?

Having said that I'd love not to have to send Isabelle to school at all, and for her to be educated by wise old tutors instead. Wouldn't a childhood without school be deadly? Not going to happen, obviously, but it's a nice thought

 

[egg_]

Actually, remembering my own childhood - when we got streamed when we went to secondary school I loved it cos there were more clever kids in the class. Nowadays I think streaming is awful